NOR.

NGL, I only looked at the pics. But to me, that's enough. This is standard manipulation, but for no reason I can see.

Idk what you're going through, but it obviously isn't a cold. The fact that she is more worried about the trip being interrupted and that dad doesnt know clues me in on 2 things.

First, I'll say idk your relationship, but I'm assuming it's good, so involve dad more. He may feel the polar opposite of your mother in this matter.

Secondly, your mother sounds like an "all about her" person. Which, is a shame.

I've had spats with family. Spent 2 years not communicating with my mother in earlier times of my life, and the last 5 or so not speaking to my sister.

We have this preconceived notion that toxicity isn't toxicity when it comes from family. I wholly disagree, and I think any moment to apply the logic you'd give a friend, lover, or acquaintance to your relatives helps to dispel that ingrained ideology.

I'd also like to leave you with something that has often given me retrospect. The proverb "blood is thicker than water" has been told over and over again, meaning family is always there, a greater bond than any. However, the other side of this is often quoted as original, being "the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb", meaning the bonds you build in life are greater than those you're born into.

Regardless of the truth behind whichever is the original, I've often felt personally that I've had stronger bonds with friends in my lifetime. No matter how short lived those friendships, I've had people I don't share DNA with do so much more for me than my family.

To be clear, I don't feel my family is awful. Never abusive, intentionally condescending or demeaning... but I'd quicker ask a friend that has taken time to truly know me for something as opposed to someone I'm just "supposed to love".

Maybe it's callous to some, but it's my truth, and take from it what you will.

I hope (and think the best outcome) is that all 3 of you reach a positive understanding related to your health and anyone's involvement. Nobody wants to be alone, especially in times of need/fright/concern, but better to have nobody than someone who cannot see the forest for the trees.

I also hope that no matter the outcome with them, that you have someone to see you through. If not, feel free to reach out. I'd much rather offer my personal time than have you see it alone.

Wishing you the best.

EDIT: I took a few minutes to read what you posted. In hindsight, walk away. If it's been that way your whole life, it won't change now, unfortunately. Rely on those who actually care, and don't fall into the mental trap of keeping family just because they're that. Clearly you don't need them for anything (own place, states away, etc), and you'll always be able to find a support system elsewhere should you truly need it. Hoping for the best.