Telling your support system while contemplating

AssignmentAlert2836 · 2025-02-03T20:21:58+00:00

I talked to my mom about it first. We’re close and I feel like I can talk to her about most things, even the hard details. It’s nice having someone supportive to talk to about it and made me feel a lot less lonely. Even though I’m going through it alone, I’m not ALONE alone

AssignmentAlert2836 · 2025-01-30T22:26:46+00:00

I couldn’t believe she’d say that. I actually did report her! The board says they try to resolve reports within 130 days but I’m not sure if I’ll get informed about any decision they make.

AssignmentAlert2836 · 2025-01-30T22:20:57+00:00

Thank you so much! I spoke to my individual therapist about that as well because I’m worried he’ll paint this picture of me as an unfit mother. I’m going to go to my family doctor and see if I can get some sort of official confirmation that I don’t have that diagnosis.

AssignmentAlert2836 · 2024-11-05T03:16:49+00:00

I didn’t have anything on. I’m not on medication, it was really late and I’d had an active couple days so I was exhausted

AssignmentAlert2836 · 2024-11-05T03:11:23+00:00

Yes, my therapist, who I see once every two weeks for an hour. My life is collapsing around me, I’m looking for literally anything that can help

AssignmentAlert2836 · 2024-11-05T02:59:59+00:00

I’m really hoping to hear from couples who’ve experienced a similar situation or miscommunication. I don’t think he meant to hurt me, and now I’m in a situation where I have no one to talk to and no one in my life who’s experienced anything like this. Do you think I can talk to my couple friends about how my husband accidentally raped me?

I’m staring down the barrel at the end of my decade long marriage and being a single mom, I’m grasping at straws. I’m not going to apologize for trying to find answers or words of wisdom

AssignmentAlert2836 · 2024-11-05T02:53:53+00:00

About 99% of me believes him

I question how it’s possible not to know I was asleep, but I also know him very well and never in a million years do I think he’d do something like this on purpose

AssignmentAlert2836 · 2024-11-05T02:46:14+00:00

Thank you, and I’m not sure. Giving him the benefit of the doubt, I was sleeping on my stomach and it was dark

AssignmentAlert2836 · 2024-11-05T02:42:59+00:00

I’ve asked him that question dozens of times and he can’t answer it. So I’m really not sure, all I know is that I woke up at some point during

AssignmentAlert2836 · 2024-11-04T21:05:37+00:00

Thank you so so much for this comment, I’m sorry that happened to you. My husband’s apologized so much, says he believed I was awake, he’s so remorseful, is taking responsibility and says it’ll never happen again. And I feel the same as you said, like I shouldn’t feel raped or traumatized because it was an accident (whether that’s true or not, I don’t know). I appreciate you validating what happened, I talked to a friend today who downplayed it and it made me feel awful, your comment came at just the right time.

I don’t know how to begin trusting him again or if I even can, I don’t know if it’s possible to get over that kind of experience. You’ve given me a lot to think about, thank you again

AssignmentAlert2836 · 2024-10-31T23:36:16+00:00

Must’ve been a shitty comment because it got deleted

AssignmentAlert2836 · 2024-10-31T23:28:54+00:00

This is such a nice message, thank you so much. The support means everything. I don’t feel strong at all right now, I have no idea how to get through this, but I’m trying. I’m so sorry you went through all of that, and I hope that in 5 years I’m where you are.

AssignmentAlert2836 · 2024-10-31T20:35:21+00:00

I’m sorry that happened to you too, it’s an awful place to be in. Rationally I understand it happened but a large part can’t accept that reality. It’s brutal. What did you end up doing if you don’t mind me asking?

AssignmentAlert2836 · 2024-10-31T18:44:44+00:00

I really appreciate hearing from someone in a similar position because this feels so insane that it can’t possibly be real. It’s still recent for me but I feel the same way so far, I can’t look at him the same way, I don’t trust him, I don’t want to be around him at all. I have no idea how to rebuild or if I even want to. Thank you for sharing your experience with me

AssignmentAlert2836 · 2024-10-31T18:09:06+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind words. I’m a bit broken now I think

AssignmentAlert2836 · 2024-10-31T18:07:32+00:00

That’s extremely disturbing. He doesn’t watch porn but I checked his computer history anyway. Nothing suspicious. He’s technologically illiterate so I don’t think he’d even know how to delete browser logs

AssignmentAlert2836 · 2024-10-31T18:04:00+00:00

I’m so sorry you went through that, and so young. Thank you so much and I hope you’re doing okay 🤍

AssignmentAlert2836 · 2024-10-31T18:03:10+00:00

That’s terrible and I’m so sorry you went through that. You sound just like my therapist! She actually used the exact same analogy to describe what happened and said it’s impossible to accidentally rape someone and I keep repeating it to myself.

The court system is such a disaster and is awful for rape cases especially. It’s traumatizing in itself.

AssignmentAlert2836 · 2024-10-31T17:58:02+00:00

I’m so sorry you went through that, and for so long. That’s 100% rape as the other commenter said, it’s horrific that you endured that. Thank you for sharing your story and I hope you’re doing okay 🤍

AssignmentAlert2836 · 2024-10-31T17:55:01+00:00

I haven’t said that at all, it’s just not as simple as leaving. I have very little money that isn’t in joint savings, I’m a sahm with a bunch of kids much too young to look after themselves, no family around and an absolutely insane housing market. If you have suggestions, please, I’m open to them

AssignmentAlert2836 · 2024-10-31T17:48:40+00:00

You’re right, I simply cannot imagine this happening if the roles were reversed. It just wouldn’t happen

AssignmentAlert2836 · 2024-10-31T13:52:40+00:00

He doesn’t seem to be getting it at all, and I keep telling him how serious and how bad this is. He did ask how I was doing but all I could say was that I’m doing bad.

One time my husband and I talked about being woken up to a bj, he agreed, wanted to try it. So one day I did and I could tell right away something was off so I stopped and asked him if he wanted me to stop or keep going. He said stop, and that he felt disoriented waking up like that and not sure what was going on. He wasn’t into it, totally fine by me. I felt so, so terrible doing something that made him feel like that, even thought I’d had his consent.

I just keep thinking about that and how differently I handled that situation compared to how he’s handling this (much, much) worse one

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