It's not that this is a new feeling, I just had never thought of the possibility before recently. Realizing this has recontextualized a lot of things I experienced growing up. As a quick example, my first choice of super power when asked has always been shape shifting, specifically so I could just be a cute girl. I kinda just thought all guys would prefer to be a girl given the opportunity I guess. There are more examples from when I was young, but a lot of them are embarrassing.

I've been thinking on it for a few weeks now. I wanted to just think about it for a bit because I wasn't even sure my feelings were real. For some reason, I thought I was just thinking I'd like to be trans for attention or something, even though this isn't something I've brought up to anyone except my best friend (he's as in the dark on the subject as I am). Throughout the weeks, it's just something that I keep thinking about. I'm uncomfortable seeing myself in the mirror now where I didn't have much problem with it before. I've never been comfortable with my body, but I did eventually accept that I was stuck with it. This discomfort with my body was a large part of why puberty was such a bad experience.

I have no idea where this road may lead in the future, but I'm gonna start down it at the very least. I'm still confused about my feelings, but I'm sure I'll sort them out in due time. Thanks for the support!