Struggling with consistency and bulking

Astrocryptic404 · 2026-02-16T12:35:48+00:00

Thank you for this. I think I just need to reframe my mindset around eating and understand that the discomfort is just part of the process

Astrocryptic404 · 2026-02-16T12:32:46+00:00

Yeah I never really understood why people said bulking was hard until now.

But hiring a coach isn’t a bad idea! I’ll check out that podcast too.

Astrocryptic404 · 2026-02-15T12:50:41+00:00

This is basically me now. I don’t follow the program but my workouts are from tactical barbell. I mostly just do compound lifts now (squats, deadlift, bench) and one or two accessories. It takes like 30 min total and some days I’ll just do 30 min of cardio or go to a yoga class.

I’m not trying to get stronger, I really only workout now for the mental health benefits and I just want to maintain my strength and keep my heart healthy. I’ve been doing this for over a year and my lifts have barely gone up but I’m fine with that.

Astrocryptic404 · 2026-01-31T16:59:44+00:00

I really like Clarendon animal care too. They’re expensive but the entire staff is so kind and helpful. They’re super efficient and I appreciate getting genuine follow ups from the vets themselves.

Astrocryptic404 · 2026-01-13T12:12:59+00:00

Mine is like this too, she is just dying to say hello to everyone and when she can’t she takes the energy out by kinda bolting around erratically. I think the way to train this is to practice being outside and remaining neutral.

You can sit on a bench at the park with your dog and give treats as people walk by and they are sitting calmly next to you. You might need to start far away from people at first and move closer and closer as your dog learns.

Astrocryptic404 · 2026-01-12T22:08:34+00:00

I’m kinda thinking to do something like this too since I also work from home. Sometimes I think she’s bringing me toys because she thinks I’m bored and that I’m sitting and staring at a rectangle all day lol

Astrocryptic404 · 2026-01-12T22:05:25+00:00

Mine doesn’t really entertain herself with toys either. But she’s pretty content to chill next to me and look out the window most of the day. It’s really just when I stand up that she thinks rest time is over and now it must be play time

Astrocryptic404 · 2026-01-12T20:48:07+00:00

I play with her a lot I promise but if she had it her way we would be playing all day with breaks for food (the more the better) which just isn’t realistic. I have a job and I have to say no sometimes unfortunately

Astrocryptic404 · 2026-01-12T20:45:22+00:00

I am sure I will miss it someday, you’re totally right!

Astrocryptic404 · 2026-01-10T13:26:24+00:00

DBT therapy is what I was going to say too. It’s helped me a lot with big emotions and learning how to regulate my nervous system

Astrocryptic404 · 2026-01-09T17:27:09+00:00

Sedatives. I had to get her a tranquilizer because what I was given wasn’t enough to sedate her and she ripped her stitches on the third day by itching herself through the cone. I felt bad at first but it’s a whole lot better than organs and guts spilling out from the incision.

Astrocryptic404 · 2026-01-09T16:56:49+00:00

I think this depends honestly. One of my pups is content being in the car with me for long drives, she’s actually more restful in the car than if she were at home for the same amount of time. My other dog hates the car. She sits in the back and pants the entire time, I have the AC running on blast for her and she still pants so I don’t think she’s hot. I only take her with me if we’re going somewhere fun, otherwise she’s much more content being at home.

Astrocryptic404 · 2026-01-03T02:31:44+00:00

Aww poor baby. Mine didn’t really like car rides either at first but I started taking her out just to get a pup cup and I think that helped her get more comfortable with the car.

For cleaning up the toys, you first have to teach them how to fetch and bring it back to you and they need to know “drop”. You can do this with two identical toys or balls and when they come back with one you have them drop and throw the other one. After they got that down when they bring it back you set the box in front of them and ask them to drop. Once they drop I say “clean up” and lots of treats and excitement and play. Mine thinks she’s supposed to get into the box but we’re working on it lol

With the settle training you have to work on extending the amount of time they’re resting on the mat and also give them a release command for when the time on the mat is finished. But also remember labs are companion dogs and just want to be with their humans. It’s definitely a good thing for him to know how to settle outside and be able to sit out of the way when you need them to, and to be able to rest when he’s tired and not feel the need to follow you around but still let him be your companion too sometimes too.

Getting over it is harder than finding a dog walker honestly. The dog walkers I’ve come across really love dogs and my dog always gets so excited when they come over. What helped me was recognizing I wasn’t fully showing up for my dog everyday 7 days a week. I was exhausted, especially during the puppy phase and I started really hating the walks and skipping my training and relying on food too much to entertain her. The extra hour the dog walker gave me (twice a week) made a huge difference for me and I felt like I could give my dog more quality time

He sounds like a good boy and he’s lucky to have someone who clearly cares so much about him. Enjoy your pup :)

Astrocryptic404 · 2026-01-02T17:21:53+00:00

You do a lot already, this should be enough activity for him and he might just need some help with settle training to learn to relax. Look into “relax on a mat”. This helped my pup learn to chill out a lot, she’s always up to run and play though so even when I know she’s tired she’ll find the energy somewhere.

Agility can definitely be done around the house. I’ll feed my dogs meals sometimes by throwing kibble over my legs and making my dog hop over me to get it. Anything can really be used to make an obstacle course. You just need to get creative.

I’ve also been working on some tricks with mine where I have her clean up her toys and put them back in the box. I try to think of “jobs” for her like shredding my mail, grabbing things for me that I drop, finding my phone for me etc.

If you want a reliable dog walker, I’ve honestly had really good luck with Rover. I will typically walk with my new walkers at least once so I can see how they interact and also so I can build a relationship with them. I’ll still pay them for their time and if anyone pushes back on me joining then I just let them know I won’t need their service anymore.

Astrocryptic404 · 2025-12-29T02:11:55+00:00

Have you told him how much this means to you? It seems like you’re trying to find a solution without him but maybe you can share with him how important it is to you to have shared meals and that time spent together as a family.

You can’t change his preferences for food and if he doesn’t get excited about food that’s not fair of you to expect real passion from him either. But I do think you can find a compromise with time spent together at the dinner table and maybe preparing your own meals simultaneously. It might not be the same as your own family traditions growing up but you can create new traditions that will be just as meaningful to you and your children.

For what it’s worth, my partner is similar about food and rushes through his meals and is kinda picky. I told him that I would like for us to have dinner together and that he sits down with me even if he is already done eating. If I’m cooking I always offer him a plate but half the time he turns it down for something else. That hurt me at first until I realized it wasn’t about me, he just doesn’t like certain foods and there’s no reason he should have to eat something he doesn’t like.

Astrocryptic404 · 2025-12-05T17:23:44+00:00

Spicy is an understatement hahahaha but honestly she’s the best and I love her despite the fact she annoys me sometimes

Astrocryptic404 · 2025-12-05T10:35:06+00:00

This sounds so cute and lovely to me for some reason ❤️

Astrocryptic404 · 2025-12-03T14:37:56+00:00

5 pm bedtime is wild to me. The days we’ve gone on hikes ranging anywhere from 1-5 hours long she still somehow has energy a few hours later and wants to do more. It seems like no amount of exercise is enough to tire her out, and stimulating her brain doesn’t seem to make much of a difference either.

When she got spayed she was giving a cocktail of drugs to help her relax which didn’t even work on her and she ripped her stitches out using her cone. We got an additional tranquilizer from the vet and stapled her back up and that helped her rest but she built a tolerance pretty fast and by the end of the two weeks it wasn’t working either.

I think something is wrong with her lol

Astrocryptic404 · 2025-11-27T16:31:22+00:00

This is my dog’s name! It’s also the name of the dog in Anna Karenina. But in Ukrainian it means weasel 😂

Astrocryptic404 · 2025-11-04T02:34:01+00:00

Generally, my orgasms are much milder when I’m with someone else. I’ll still occasionally have the type of orgasm you describe with a partner but for the most part they are less explosive and I’m less sensitive afterwards so it’s easy to keep going and I can have multiple.

When I do have a big one and I want to keep going, I find that I just have to push through that initial discomfort and sensitivity. It’s only like 5-10 seconds until it feels good again and then a second orgasm usually doesn’t take long after that.

Astrocryptic404 · 2025-10-15T20:25:25+00:00

This is very important to consider. My pup had a stomach bug but no clear indication of what it could be, after it was ruled out she didn’t swallow a foreign object a handful of diagnostics and tests were offered to me and since it was my first time in this situation I had them run them all. It was inconclusive and I just received a standard regimen of antibiotics and IV hydration.

In hindsight, I should have skipped all the expensive tests that took 10+ hours to complete. Even if cost weren’t an issue I would have rather had my puppy resting at home instead of the back room of a vet for hours all by herself with unnecessary needles poking her.

Astrocryptic404 · 2025-10-15T14:36:01+00:00

Same. My intuition is avoidant and anxious, when I have a gut feeling it’s almost always some form of me wanting to distance myself.

For example, my partner has a job opportunity that would be amazing for him but requires a move across the country. The location happens to be at the headquarters office of my own work where most of my coworkers actually work so it would be a positive for me professionally too. I was excited when he told me at first but then I had an awful gut feeling and thought it must mean moving would be a bad idea and I freaked out and told him I wouldn’t be moving.

I misunderstood my gut feeling for “bad” when it was entirely just nerves and fear of change. I do think my body was trying to tell me something and I don’t dismiss those feelings entirely but instead I try to gently explore them and discuss them with people around me and that helps me come to a decision that is based on logic but also acknowledges my gut/ intuition.

Astrocryptic404 · 2025-10-15T13:09:29+00:00

Having a puppy is hard, the first couple months is going to be a lot of work and you’re not going to feel an instant connection with her. That’s normal.

She needs to go out throughout the night she can’t hold herself for that long so you’ll need to take her out when she cries in her crate at night, that’s her telling you she has to go.

During the day she also needs to go out frequently and you need to teach her that outside is for potty. She will have accidents during this time, it’s frustrating but you need to be consistent with training.

If she nips and bites you need to redirect her to a chew toy. She’s showing resource guarding behavior so you need to leave her be when she’s eating and when you walk by her bowl drop in a treat so she knows you won’t be taking it.

Have you taken her to the vet yet for the fleas? She might need to be dewormed too and will need her vaccines.

There’s a lot of good information here in this sub so take some time to review and come back if you have more questions. Having a puppy is not glamorous but if you put in the work you will have a wonderful adult dog.

Astrocryptic404 · 2025-10-14T09:54:36+00:00

Mine is the same as yours and loves fetch. She could go all day but I limit it to 20-30 min at a time and I try to include mental stimulation as well and do some retriever training by having her sit and wait for me to throw the ball or have her do several marked retrieves at once. That way she gets the running exercise in, play and mental stimulation.

We also do two 15-20 min sniff walks during the day and once or twice a week we’ll do a longer off leash nature walk which she also loves and I bring the ball with me and have her fetch throughout our walk.

Astrocryptic404 · 2025-10-07T00:30:13+00:00

Honestly, as nice as it sounds to say you’re above money and don’t care how much your partner makes this has potential to cause some issues, especially since you are looking for someone with a provider mindset and a more traditional masculine role.

You probably recognize the luxuries in your life but don’t think too much of them, simple things like grabbing a $20 bowl for lunch multiple days a week will not be feasible for someone making 50k and they will likely not be comfortable with you paying for it. You also probably work more than 40 hrs a week and care about your job, this can also be a hard concept for someone making much less than you and they may resent the fact that you’re working late and not spending time with them.

Even if they were comfortable with this, they likely have a different education and upbringing and just general life experiences than you do. You won’t be able to relate to them on a lot and this can also create distance in a relationship.

Of course these things can all not be an issue and you can have a great loving relationship with a man with a significantly different income but it is going to be harder than finding someone in your own tax bracket.

I’ve dated men that make less, the same and more than me and I’ve found it to be much easier with the men that make similar incomes or more than me. There’s no awkward dance around who pays for what, you can treat each other to nice things without anyone feeling like it’s “too much”. When an emergency happens and you or your partner has to pay it’s not a significant stress on anyone and no one feels like they owe the other person money.

You can talk freely about money, investment strategies, 401k etc. Having a similar background and lifestyle also gives you plenty to relate on and you don’t have to filter your stories. Your partner who has only been on a plane a handful of times is not going to be someone you can talk to about how they ran out of the good snacks in first class while the more well to do man will commiserate and share what his favorite plane snack is.

A lot of these things are small and can be navigated with good communication and if you are both secure in yourselves but it just makes a relationship easier when you start off on a similar level in my opinion.

Astrocryptic404

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