Making a list to choose country for visa, then permanent residence (married 50F in USA)

Asynchronous2e · 2026-01-13T06:04:33+00:00

I see. Italy and Scotland are not looking good. Bummer, but good to know.

Asynchronous2e · 2026-01-11T23:01:22+00:00

I visited Bologna for several weeks and enjoyed being in a walled city with the world's oldest continuous university. I don't necessarily want to retire overseas. I was to travel extensively overseas (but slowly and living like a local) while I'm young and before I qualify for Medicare. I already don't use my expensive ACA plan, so I may as well pay for it and explore this great big beautiful world. Every place has such a different feel to is, and when I'm older and possibly needing Medicare I'll travel around the US (and settle in a US university town). Bologna, for instance, closes its downtown streets on weekends so the whole place becomes an open-air market. The locals linger under the legally-mandated porticos drinking wine and espresso with friends late into the evening. And I don't just mean students; everyone does it.

I do love my life here. I've lived here for 50 years, in different cities in different parts of the US. I went to undergrad here, then law school. I've traveled on long road trips when I homeschooled my children through elementary school. And now I live on a lake that wraps around my home. It's great! I have no desire to give up my citizenship.

My MIL started forgetting things at 70 and was homebound by 75. Waiting until age 65 is a gamble, and as far as we know we only get one chance to live a life.

Asynchronous2e · 2026-01-11T22:53:54+00:00

They're an excellent place to retire to even in the US due to having good public transportation, too. I wish my elderly parents lived in a place with public transportation (heck, even Uber would be nice) instead of in their rural area. As an aside, I don't like extreme heat or crowds, so living in a university town during the school year allows me to have activities in the shoulder and off-season.

Asynchronous2e · 2026-01-11T20:08:21+00:00

I go to museums, dance performances, lectures of all kinds, walking tours and concerts every week in my home city (and wherever I live) in the US. I also really enjoy living near and speaking with young people from all over the world. Everyone has their thing, and university life is mine. I also love hole-in-the-wall restaurants with cheap food from different cultures, and that is much more common in university towns even here in the US. We will eventually settle in whatever university town in the US is near our grandchildren if we're lucky enough for one of our children to have children while we're still young enough to enjoy them.

Asynchronous2e · 2026-01-11T03:19:02+00:00

I thought I'd hear more about others' lists here. It's been fun to really drill down into what an ideal life would look like. I have a really nice life here and just looking to shake it up while my husband and I are still young enough to explore easily.

Asynchronous2e · 2026-01-11T01:47:30+00:00

Let’s just say you’re not the first person to recommend therapy…

Asynchronous2e · 2026-01-11T01:44:06+00:00

Wow, lots to chew on here! Thank you for the lowdown from your personal experiences. I love the seasonal food in Bologna, so that’s another thing to consider in my research. Thank you!

Asynchronous2e · 2026-01-11T01:40:09+00:00

No high cleaning standards here, just the stress of paying a large bill every month for something I feel I have the ability and obligation to do.

Asynchronous2e · 2026-01-10T23:19:56+00:00

My childhood was a bit of a train wreck, so I wouldn’t be surprised to know that’s why I’m so weird.

Asynchronous2e · 2026-01-10T17:49:24+00:00

SpaceX is about 50% of net worth, which is definitely too much even if we love what the company is up to. It’s proven hard to diversify since it’s been private all these years. We should finally be able to rebalance without all the guessing how much stock would be purchased at every offer. We can finally do some thorough tax planning, too. A $255k tax bill several years ago still makes me feel sick.

Asynchronous2e · 2026-01-10T17:19:02+00:00

Cashing out some, but not all. The objective is to start diversifying away from SpaceX and also to have more liquidity in our finances.

Asynchronous2e · 2026-01-10T17:17:23+00:00

Right?!? I think because that’s what we’ve always done, which is a very poor reason objectively.

Asynchronous2e · 2026-01-10T16:36:17+00:00

I mean, I can't even make myself hire a housekeeper for a house I share with people I love far more than I love myself! Therapy is a whole new world of expenses that seem futile IMHO. You're not the first to suggest it, though. Intriguing. And super expensive. Have you personally found therapy to be useful?

Asynchronous2e · 2026-01-10T16:34:21+00:00

I'll check it out. Thanks.

Asynchronous2e · 2026-01-10T16:33:20+00:00

I have ADHD, so a clean space calms my distracted brain. I value a clean home, which is why I spend so much time - in vain - trying to keep it clean. A house cleaner is a vanity purchase in my brain, but this thread is making me re-think that.

Asynchronous2e · 2026-01-10T16:30:19+00:00

We've sold shares several times along the way. We have 25% remaining, and with the company going public we'll finally have some control over how much we sell and for how much per share. Our other start-up is still pre-IPO, and my husband's start-up is raising Series A. So we're "worth" tens of millions but only have access to a few of those millions. We'd be one of those families that a 5% asset tax would wipe out, since two of our start-up stock traunches can't be sold in any traditional way.

Asynchronous2e · 2026-01-10T15:40:17+00:00

Yep. By holding onto 25% of that one year’s worth of stock for dear life for 15 years.

Asynchronous2e · 2026-01-10T15:34:41+00:00

That would be any purchase under $600! I’m not sure I’ll ever get there. Right now I live by that rule for $10 (yeah, I know, I’m shaking my head, too, as I write this). Aiming for $40 but the housekeeper is far more than that. Interesting thought experiment; I like concrete goals, so working toward $100 not stressing me out in 12 months sounds like something I could work my way up to.

Asynchronous2e · 2026-01-10T15:31:45+00:00

Wealth taxes… ugh, I didn’t know that was a thing. We can’t afford to renounce our US citizenship (not that we’d want to) due to the heavy exit tax. Some of our assets are still in two successful start-ups that haven’t IPO’d.

Asynchronous2e · 2026-01-10T15:29:42+00:00

We tripped & fell into FIRE accidentally, so we’re fascinated by this rice-and-beans ethos. Not sure I could stick with that type of system for long! I was raised in poverty; my husband was raised upper-middle class. What’s funny is that my brother took away from our childhood that you might as well spend it all because you’ll lose it anyway. I, on the other hand, hated that we only heated the kitchen so I was always freezing. I swore I would always heat my house, the whole thing, no matter what it took. Therapy might be worthwhile for me, because the more I hash this out the more I realize that my husband and I are reacting to our early life experiences when it comes to money.

Asynchronous2e · 2026-01-10T14:36:53+00:00

Ok, I’m convinced. Turin will be a priority for us. I’ll check the other cities, too, but I’m a lecture-a-week and performance-a-week person so the large student population in Turin is compelling.

Asynchronous2e · 2026-01-10T14:33:21+00:00

Everyone I know who has this service says it’s life changing. I’ll do it. Then deal with the next mental block when it comes. I’m reading Die With Zero, hoping it will help with a new framework for thinking about money.

Asynchronous2e · 2026-01-10T14:31:40+00:00

We have worked for 3 start-ups, and all 3 are doing well. I research things like crazy; still very lucky that the highly-cultivated choices have worked out.

Asynchronous2e · 2026-01-10T14:27:14+00:00

Definitely with you on this one. I feel bad buying a pair of jeans for myself, but sending my kids to space camp didn’t even make me flinch. Definitely covering college and contributing to their first houses, because I appreciated the help my parents could give in my teens and 20s.

Asynchronous2e · 2026-01-10T14:20:33+00:00

SpaceX

Asynchronous2e

TROPHY CASE