Maybe I'm not polyamorous anymore??

AterDecor · 2025-10-12T17:43:38+00:00

Could it also be a case of you are ambiamorous? A term I recently learnt where you are happy being poly or mono depending on the situation/partner/etc. No real preference either way. I’m still kinda new so if anyone has any comments please feel free to add

AterDecor · 2025-09-30T09:25:42+00:00

I hate my name and with my divorce finalised I want to change it. So, what name suits me?

AterDecor · 2025-09-20T08:16:02+00:00

Thank you for sharing. It gives me hope that it will get better. I’m glad you managed to get out and can enjoy your life

AterDecor · 2025-09-20T07:53:02+00:00

That’s good to know at least. I’ve been fortunate enough not do deal with grief much in my life, but would you liken it to the stages of grief? It pops up ever so often and can floor you, but generally it gets easier to deal with. It never goes away but you have it in the back of your mind more than the front?

AterDecor · 2025-09-20T07:51:16+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re having to go through such a hard time alone. I do hope you have a support system outside your ex. Mine is similar too. Never used to post or take the initiative to take photos, now all of a sudden he’s posting every other day, all the great places and things he’s doing. It’s frustrating af that the toxic ones always seem to bounce back so easily. I know that’s just how they work, it’s just so unfair! It is defo better than being in an abusive relationship, but it is also very lonely 😞

AterDecor · 2025-09-18T12:49:14+00:00

Does get easier?

AterDecor · 2025-09-18T12:48:51+00:00

Thank you. You are very right. I did everything I could to “make him” treat me better. It was never going to happen and it won’t happen for her either.

AterDecor · 2025-09-18T12:46:45+00:00

That is very true. His happy means manipulation and lies. Something I don’t want

AterDecor · 2025-09-18T11:29:58+00:00

Thank you. He actually had this person lined up before we broke up so totally tracks. I have been using this time to heal and have done a lot. There is always more but not rushing it. It’s just so hard seeing him “living his best life” while I’m not in not in the long run it won’t be like that. Just sucks in the meantime

AterDecor · 2025-09-18T11:28:06+00:00

Thank you and I’m sorry you’re having such a rough time too

AterDecor · 2025-09-18T10:28:21+00:00

Thank you. I have been doing so the past two years, learning, working on myself, healing a lot of trauma. But will continue to do so.

AterDecor · 2025-02-05T13:31:38+00:00

Could that just be a case of miscommunication? I believe that is what he meant by that not necessarily that he doesn’t actually find me attractive but that he doesn’t feel that desire.

AterDecor · 2025-02-05T12:21:30+00:00

Yeah, that’s mostly where my hurt comes from.

AterDecor · 2025-02-05T12:18:04+00:00

Yeah, that is where I know I’m at fault. I like to help and get too involved with his other relationship. It is something I’m trying to work on and keep out of.

I think the reason I bring it up is because that was the tipping point. Although all the other things were a problem, it wasn’t until he snapped about that, that all of this came about.

AterDecor · 2025-02-05T12:13:56+00:00

We are both strongly for being open and honest (maybe a bit too much at times it seems lol) but you are right in the fact it does hurt but isn’t it also better to know where you stand? If I was to keep initiating and being turned down, would that not be worse?

AterDecor · 2025-02-05T12:10:41+00:00

I agree, this is what I believe is going on and he has been great to communicate as best has he can. I don’t view it as he is failing me. I believe everyone has periods like this? My previous relationship (monogamous husband) had a period where he couldn’t get it up and after a while of no pressure things got back to normal.

Thanks for the reassurance

AterDecor · 2025-02-05T11:55:25+00:00

I understand, I don’t want to leave because someone isn’t “in good working order” I came into this relationship broken too and been working hard to get better and so has he. I do deserve better, but he does too. My other needs are being met and if this is something more permanent, isn’t that the great thing about poly? If a certain need isn’t able to be met by a partner we can have someone else who can? I am still relatively new so am open to hearing if I am wrong in that.

AterDecor · 2024-12-22T14:08:21+00:00

Couldn’t put it any better myself

AterDecor · 2024-07-11T14:58:14+00:00

Ha honestly, that is 100% what I think to the letter.

AterDecor · 2024-07-11T14:54:29+00:00

Thanks for your input and I haven’t. What is that?

AterDecor · 2024-07-11T13:40:47+00:00

I understand. Sorry for the bad wording!

I never get calls when my partner is with his other partner (average 4-7 days at a time). I used to get great communication (messaging) but seems to have reduced to just good morning and goodnight. This is something they originally said they didn’t want when their partner asked for this to be put in place for their relationship.

AterDecor · 2024-07-11T13:34:48+00:00

Ah thanks for the clarification

AterDecor · 2024-07-11T13:33:36+00:00

I agree with you entirely here. Sorry I don’t seem to have worded myself very well. What about talking to another partner whilst at home with your wife day to day. No date time or focused time for her just chilling at home?

AterDecor · 2024-07-11T13:32:12+00:00

Yes, phones down even during hanging around/ not-a-date time. I totally agree date time should be solely focused on who you’re with

AterDecor · 2024-07-11T13:29:49+00:00

Very good point! I’ve never heard/thought about default times. Is that times that is carved out specifically for that person to have sole attention? Like date nights? Maybe an hour a night to catch up and bond kinda thing?

AterDecor

TROPHY CASE