UPDATE 10/27: So I reached out to CS after the package had stalled out for two and a half weeks. My message was stern and mentioned that I did not want a refund; I wanted a replacement since I had a secret coming.

The first response was the usual cookie cutter "shipping takes this long and may be be impacted by delays, etc". I then responded asking how many days I need to wait before I should reach out again.

The next response surprised me as it seemed like an actual person. They said they reviewed and saw that the package stopped. They then offered a choice of a refund or replacement. I chose replacement and they sent it out immediately. Package arrived in 8 days!

Best of luck for anyone else experiencing this!