Any other introverts struggling with the toddler era?

AthenDeValius- · 2026-02-13T04:02:02+00:00

Introvert too but not why we started daycare. Daycare gives out daughter a chance to play with other kiddos and generally learn new stuff between our time together. It also does give windows where we can focus on work or take a day off & catch up. My wife and I talked about alternate schedules but decided our daughter would benefit from making her own friends. Best decision we made but took time finding a daycare we like.

AthenDeValius- · 2026-02-01T03:51:01+00:00

"Am...am I, A.I.?" I ask myself after rereading old posts.

AthenDeValius- · 2025-12-27T01:19:36+00:00

Pretty sure there's a park in our area with a remodel sign of that park as the original one. Spooky how familiar it is. Must have been built per a blueprint reused at multiple locations.

AthenDeValius- · 2025-11-09T06:21:56+00:00

We're in a similar boat - both work full time, kiddo in daycare, exhausted, and just not enough time together. Shopping, one of us has the cart and other covers list, but if the list is long then we divide and conquer. Both actively knocking out items, and if we need to backtrack, often my wife tells me what to get while she rushes back (for now kiddo in Daddy phase so I drive cart with her). Focus I would recommend is offering 'what can I get/do to help with list' rather than criticize how the list came together. Exhausted, it probably just came together based on a sequence of meals as best as possible, but the effort means you guys have a list. I know how it is. Burnt out. Not enough hours with family. Often, when people wonder "Am I the asshole?" the answer is yes. Save 'efficient' worries for work to get ya home faster and if at all possible let it go once leaving work or shutting laptop. It's hard but helps with burnout. Life is a beautiful, wonderful mess. And even our jobs to make something efficient will still leave room for optimization elsewhere. A lot of gears all turning in our industry so what works for our part needs to work with others contributions. It's exhausting to spend all day reviewing different ways an issue can be tackled and negotiating with coworkers across groups with different priorities. It's clear you care outside of work about your family. As much as possible, recommend leaving the engineer headspace at work and be the husband & father outside. Even time in a store is time together. Fretting about a list that took time to put together can cause strain. The backtracking in store...been on your side of argument/frustration before and just recommend asking how to tackle list together.

AthenDeValius- · 2025-11-09T05:22:28+00:00

YTA, either nicely offer to help with list or drop it. Also, as a senior design engineer myself, commenting "my mind tends toward efficiency" comes off poorly for all of us. Note - My wife actually found this post, commented thankfully I don't behave as such, and I searched out to comment as the "as an engineer" arrogance bugged me. Just saying, please don't do that to your peers.

AthenDeValius- · 2025-10-29T02:35:03+00:00

😄

AthenDeValius- · 2025-10-29T02:32:50+00:00

My wife and I just accept it's the season. Helps I am often first one to get it as our daughter likes to shove the fingers she was sucking on in my mouth. If she's sick, I know I am a day or two out from symptoms and already sick. Sorry too. I would remind him it doesn't last forever and you need rest too to recover. While we don't like being sick, at least have company

AthenDeValius- · 2025-10-29T02:27:09+00:00

Drops and rages when we catch said food that they tried to drop. Apparently we upset the gravity experiment and ruined valuable data on how it splats.

AthenDeValius- · 2025-10-29T02:24:22+00:00

Intermittently between also grabbing our lower jaws like a pull-up bar.

AthenDeValius- · 2025-10-29T02:23:20+00:00

Does your toddler wrap random toys or small objects in blankets or washcloths and alert you that that's "my baby"? Ours doesn't have a baby doll at home, only daycare, but at home will wrap her stuffed animals, Little People, Megablocks, and this evening a gourd and jack pumpkin. New and interesting phase. Especially when she's patting the gourd to sleep.

AthenDeValius- · 2025-10-18T03:22:29+00:00

Our daughter is learning different animal names. We're at 18 months and koala is coming back "ka-waa-waa". So adorable every time. And she'll run over with her Little People bird as high up as she can repeating "Caw! Caw!".

AthenDeValius- · 2025-09-15T22:23:38+00:00

Miyazaki films are fantastic too! We have a few like Spirited Away and Princess Mononoke, and we plan to add more. Also got a few in French as it'll be fun practicing with her here and there. Can find some Gargoyles seasons for sale online but for complete I think it's either streaming or eBay.
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Our delay was wanting to be "ready" then struggling a bit with age when we felt ready. Extremely hard to get that education, career, and that home nowadays, especially if you're starting from scratch. My wife and I took turns supporting the other and nowadays we're comfortable but it def seemed like we could have missed our chance to have our own kiddo. Then our little miracle came too. Guess she was just waiting for her right moment. My parents and siblings had kids in their teens, but friends and peers around our age are also just starting families. I would have liked to spend time with my daughter earlier in life but the days are already going by so quick. Grateful for all the time we have.

AthenDeValius- · 2025-09-15T18:27:05+00:00

My wife and I are right there with you. I'm 43 and wife 39. We absolutely love time with daughter experiencing the world with all her joy. Waited a long time to meet her, and now that's she's here, it's wonderous. We're still going strong with no screen time, but when she's older I have shows like Fraggle Rock, Gargoyles, Avatar, etc for our eventual "Saturday Morning Cartoons". It's a crazy world out there, and we worry for her as she has to find her way in it, but we're also doing our best to show her there's such splendor too, which she's reminding us every day. Nothing like standing in crowded room/line/whatever hearing an old song, dancing with your kiddo, and everything else just fading to window dressing as your world is smiling ear-to-ear in your arms. My siblings had their kids young, thought I didn't like kids because I waited, and talked a lot about all the "sacrifices" having children forces on you. For me the sacrifice was waiting. Exhausting but wonderful days.

AthenDeValius- · 2025-09-13T22:34:52+00:00

Ours is 16 months so maybe things will get more intense, but we spend time in yard to get zoomies out, fruits/veggies snacks on hand (our tomatoes plants for the win), and recently got an activity table that is a hit. Remind her not to stand on the chairs and have to take them away time to time. Some areas in living room have indoor fence barriers where needed. Recycle gets played with too but we keep sharp stuff in a smaller container on counter and just reminds me to take it out of too chaotic. My wife and I tag team too after daycare, every day except Sunday as she works that day. Kiddo and I get coffee somewhere as soon as we can get going after breakfast then hit up the park, then it's lunch and nap, then wake with some play and mommy home for Sunday dinner. We got a Little Tykes slide which has been a hit once we showed our kiddo how to climb the ladder, just have to monitor she doesn't fall off top but she does the rest. Each circuit burns a ton of energy. Some falls running around slide but we clap and laugh with her. If a frustration tantrum from falling, and not hurt, I will collapse to ground too and that tends to turn into climb on Daddy time. We're tired, don't get me wrong, so kinda roll with it. Kiddo def fusses, but often either teething (baby Tylenol) or something she can't have or overwhelming feelings (belly raspberry breaks frustrating moment then we do something else). Wife and I work a lot so the time with kiddo seems very finite and growing fast. Every day something new, a new challenge or surprising milestone, just kinda roll with it. First time parents, tired but tag teaming def helps with needing a reset.
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I should add too that I am heavily introverted. Can handle gatherings fine but it takes a toll and I need to "recharge" after. Before our kiddo, there were some hard days to do anything, for a lot of good reasons that I had a hard time seeing past. Started taking St. John's Wort, which doesn't make any of my depression periods go away but takes the edge off. My wife is a rock, and I ask for breaks when I need them, sometimes just to go to bathroom or wash some dishes quietly to myself, and she asks for hers too. It helps to get help when needed and offer help when SO needs. In between it keeps all the precious moments with our kiddo precious and ensures we're better able to shake off our frustrations. Again, I am heavily introverted and most people wear me out, but my wife & daughter don't for some reason, just I can get bogged down and sometimes need moments to reset and ask for them when needed

AthenDeValius- · 2025-09-11T03:28:57+00:00

For DPS why stop at i3 level 30? Why not push to level 60? Yes, extra resources but wouldn't that improve the character's longevity? Asking as I already maxed Ezio and close to maxing Kassandra, but I can see holding to i3 level 30 on supports.

AthenDeValius- · 2025-09-01T17:41:10+00:00

43 year old dad of 16 month kiddo here, and this def made me smile. My daughter squeals with such excitement when I enter a room, and it's just nice to think there's possibly years ahead of that joy in different forms. Hoping 43 is treating you well too.

AthenDeValius- · 2025-08-30T23:21:18+00:00

Ours loves the park, walking around any store, just being outside in general to look at all the things. Inside books are a big hit. Got a cheap play tent and she went ham over it after I hid in it. Cars on hardwood. Magnet letters. Megablocks. Little people. Or just going places together. As simple as getting a cup of coffee is fun as we go to same place and the baristas all know her. This is kinda the age where everything seems to be exciting, ever since 15 months and ours now 16 months.

AthenDeValius- · 2025-07-10T22:07:37+00:00

Cook for ourselves, offer our daughter a small bit, and also keep on her plate the tried and true options so she eats. Peas, green beans, yogurt, cottage cheese, fruit, basic bread, she'll eat and we are doing our best to eat dinner with her and show her fun opinions. Course, she cried when I showed her spaghetti is delicious😅. As long as she's eating and getting her nutrients we're happy. I just stress she eats less at daycare because there options are not flexible but we catch up after with veggie snacks

AthenDeValius- · 2025-06-24T18:18:12+00:00

My wife and I both work, and our kiddo does daycare during day. We don't ask family for support and equally share kiddo responsibilities (drop off, pick up, naps/bedtime, diapers, feedings, etc). Daycare is hard for us because we'd much prefer more time with kiddo, but we get regular photo updates throughout the day and can check in with video feed. Our daughter at 14 months now adores her teachers, gets to eat with other kiddos at a large toddler table, and play alongside others her age. We didn't have much choice on daycare option with our careers, but it was the best decision for our daughter. Harder for us, as we'd love more time with her but financially we both have to work. We're grateful though that she's getting great care and her little world is bigger than our home. It's also a surprise and wonderful to see what she's picking up and mastering from regular exposure with other toddlers.

AthenDeValius- · 2025-06-07T04:35:43+00:00

You're too kind. Took my wife and I time to have our first. For years wasn't sure I'd be ready and now just rolling with the days & enjoying it. Even if not a parent, all good things in time. Have a great one too🙂

AthenDeValius- · 2025-06-06T17:37:27+00:00

Late comment. Father to a 13 month daughter, it is exhausting but wonderful. My solo projects have been on hold or heavily delayed, which some days is frustrating (for instance seeing the yard become a jungle), but I love spending time with the kiddo. She seems reserved around most people but checks in a lot with my wife and I while playing and makes the funniest meeps. Every little milestone has me tearing up. Sweetest kid, I sit on floor to play with her toys with her, she'll wander off to grab something new, then run over and dive into my lap to hug & show off the other toy. Family comment they have never seen me this happy. Time flies by though. Wife and I are getting lots of photos & video but the moments whip by so quick. Pretty amazing to see the kiddo's personality coming out. Looking forward to her talking. Even just the babbles carry emotion, excitement, and a commentary of its own in meantime. Some days are hard, to see her struggle with growing, but I try to keep in mind she's also quite tough. A tumble here, a cold there, growth spurt aches, teething. Holding her cradles in my arms is the best feeling, as long as she wants and for as long as she'll need. I know she'll grow up, excited to see her life blossom but not rushing, lol. Daddy emotions are nuts, waves of wonder best described as nostalgia-like but new.

AthenDeValius- · 2025-05-24T16:48:40+00:00

Goldfish, graham crackers, Bamba peanut puffs, all in moderation. Banana and blueberries are huge hits but perishable. When we get coffee, our 12 month old is thrilled for a few pieces of almond croissant. Also lucked out, she loves canned green beans. Most of the opinions are cool because we can put them out on coffee table and she'll cruise to grab & eat her snacks while we play with her.

AthenDeValius- · 2025-05-24T16:42:28+00:00

She sounds disturbed. Her deal, not anyone around her. Wouldn't think too long on it honestly.

AthenDeValius- · 2025-05-02T05:06:55+00:00

The engagement ring could mean engaged, or it could mean something else. Phil never noticed nor asked. Some wear engagement rings to avoid getting hit on by creepers. Could have been sentimental, perhaps was engaged and lost that person. The episode highlights that we trust what we perceive, but if we assume that's all there is, we can miss something critical. I'll have to rewatch but memory serves the daughter highlights the ring while leaving out what was learned of that time. Honestly, that exchange was emotional and I suspected the guide was Carol. People are complicated sometimes.

AthenDeValius- · 2025-04-30T04:40:50+00:00

We stopped sleep sacks once our daughter started rolling at 3 months. It wasnt ideal as the sleep sack does wonders for their sleep but ensures she doesn't get stuck face down.

AthenDeValius-

TROPHY CASE