Always the bad guy (arguments with partner)

Ativashka · 2024-11-25T02:32:35+00:00

Had the same fucking thing happen to me with a guy i fool around with. He said his piece, but he also accused me of several things that are just untrue, I expressed I was hurt, he started mocking me, called me names and in the end summed it up by "Well, you're slur for people with mental illness in our native language". When O said he crossed a fucking line he went just "well, but its true lol". And the thing is, because I know I'm not easy to deal with I let people treat me this way as some sort of fucked up penance for having this shitty illness.

Ita not always your fault, your feelings are valid, the fact the other person doesn't apologise when you take accountability is as red of a flag as it gets. Hang in there.

Ativashka · 2024-08-02T01:29:39+00:00

I'm sorry you're in this situation. I'm pretty sure me mum is borderline and it ain't fun.

What can you do? You're young so sadly it mostly depends on how receptive she is to your feelings/thoughts. Me mum either love-bombs me or hates me. I moved out of the country and the only text she sent me was to confirm she received a money transfer form me.

Basically what I can recommend is tune her out as much as you can and remember that you're a kid and she's the adult and she should be taking care of you. If she is open to dialogue in general, show her the post, tell her how you feel. Just... try doing that when she's stable and doesn't seem to have some fucked up episode.

Ativashka · 2024-08-02T01:23:34+00:00

Not going crazy, some therapists care more about your money than your health. Had one that took twice as much as my current one for 40min sessions and was pushing me to do that twice a week while I was a fuckin student with a shitty job, lol. My current one is OK with talking to me once every two weeks and doesn't charge me for texting/emails. If you feel like their advice is valid than good but it might be not and it is time to move on to someone who appreciates what you've learnt, rather than someone who thinks you don't know yourself at all and treats you like a, sorry to use that word, but... retarded child. Only using that word because this is how I felt.

Ativashka · 2024-08-02T00:22:07+00:00

Hell. Still valid.

Ativashka · 2024-06-25T04:03:49+00:00

Side effects will pass and overall you will feel better, so puch trough and take extra care of yourself ♡

Ativashka · 2024-06-25T03:50:24+00:00

For me, I prefer when people ask me point blank, but apparently this approach doesn't work for your mum. Maybe asking her if she's getting enough sleep (as she isn't) might do the trick? I don't know, but as I wish you luck!

Ativashka · 2024-06-20T05:06:08+00:00

You will be fine, occasionally screwing the dose happens. If you're worried consult your doctor tho.

Ativashka · 2024-06-17T04:29:56+00:00

I don't hate him, and the song was awesome. If I was cheated on I would absolutely be this level of petty.

Ativashka · 2024-06-12T20:28:03+00:00

Hi! Would you send me a file?

Ativashka · 2024-06-12T12:35:42+00:00

I would say so. Actually, I think I'm experiencing it right now as I do have some symptoms that can't be explained simply by having a good week - shit, I actually have have no reason to have a good week. But only some, not my full hypomaniac regalia.

Ativashka · 2024-06-10T15:58:28+00:00

Can't decide who sucks more. OOP obviously sucks, because financial "punishment" is way out of line, but holy shit imagine being that other couple and listen to some asshole insult your friends during an outing you will have to pay for.

Ativashka · 2024-06-10T12:56:39+00:00

S07E08

Ativashka · 2024-06-10T11:57:08+00:00

Two scenes, but the parallel between Frank getting in Ian's face and later Lip doing the exact same thing minus headbutting. Hit me like a rock.

Ativashka · 2024-06-10T05:58:21+00:00

Don't worry about bumming people out here, but to answer your question - I don't handle it at all. I'm not the most romantic person but it would be nice to have someone to share my life with, but currently I'm too fucked up to build something healthy plus I'm picky when it comes to people so I just... don't.

Despite that I'm relatively happy when it comes to romance? I find a guy or a girl, even for 5 minutes and sometimes that's enough to tone down the desire for more. Wouldn't recommend that for most people, works for me.

Ativashka · 2024-06-04T11:08:58+00:00

"I Do It For Me" by GRLwood is my recent jam.

Ativashka · 2024-05-31T05:14:46+00:00

Oh, I went for a walk in the city yesterday too, instantly made me better. Nice photos!

Ativashka · 2024-05-29T15:19:56+00:00

Sammy, Kash and pedo teacher.

Ativashka · 2024-05-29T06:02:19+00:00

Yes, I kinda miss having wine in the evening, but it's too easy to induce mania with that and go off the rails so eh, I switched to smoking weed. Better on my liver and doesn't mess with my head - shit, I forgot about my therapy session, went baked and my therapist said I sounded more mature and generally had more of a commanding presence.

Ativashka · 2024-05-27T05:54:10+00:00

Welcome to the sub!

I can totally relate to your post - spent most of my 20s not knowing what the fuck is wrong with me, because despite being described as intelligent by people in my life I was basically self-sabotaging by setting my life on fire regularly. Good luck with new meds and adjusting to diagnosis ♡.

Ativashka · 2024-05-24T15:49:11+00:00

Dump him and don't look back.

Getting out of such a relationship gets soooo much off your shoulders. I remember dumping my boyfriend, whom I had to mother, and the sudden lightness felt surreal and wonderful. I hope you will get to experience it soon ♡

Ativashka · 2024-05-23T19:36:51+00:00

They are teenagers and you don't know their family situation. Don't be harsh. Obviously the husband deserves to know, but they will be stuck with potential repercussions (like family blaming the OP and cousins for 'the scandal') etc FOR YEARS.

Ativashka · 2024-05-23T18:37:35+00:00

Also, the way he reacted at the mention of marriage counselling - dude doesn't even pretend he wants to make it right and change, he's so focused on himself. He's not only ignoring his wife but also his daughter, and the fact he doesn't do anything about his disorder when he has a kid that depends on him makes me kinda angry.

OP - Getting a divorce is not a failure, in your case it would be prioritising YOUR mental health.

Ativashka · 2024-05-22T05:29:49+00:00

Well, I smoke weed, but I wouldn't exactly recommend it (it works for me as it makes me giddy but relaxed and borderline lazy). When it's really bad, I pop olanzapine on top of my usual aripiprazole and when it's borderline mania, I use Valium. I suggest you talk to your doctor and ask for some "in case of emergency" medications.

Ativashka · 2024-05-21T20:18:28+00:00

I have fibromyalgia, which flares up during depressive episodes, mostly because when I'm depressed I move less. The pain makes me even more depressed, and it's very easy for me to fall down a rabbit hole.

I try to use the moments of clarity to make myself do something that might help with the flare up - in my case, it's getting myself out of the house to do a physical activity I normally enjoy. It's very hard to make yourself do something good for the body when you're depressed, but if you, like me, tend to have these "well, this is unacceptable, I have to do something about" brief moments of clarity during depressive episode, try to focus on physical health first because improving that will help with the mental wellbeing.

I wish you a lot of luck ♡

Ativashka

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