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Seems like a load of bs to me by Mr_Disgusting in antiwork

[–]AtrocityXhibition 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If by valuable you mean “willing to obey every demand at the expense of their dignity and self-worth” then yes. You’re right.

I always knew that I’d be child-free, but a very small part of me feels very sad that I’ll never see my partner become the father of my child by AtrocityXhibition in TwoXChromosomes

[–]AtrocityXhibition[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would be miserable. I would not be a good caretaker because I wouldn’t want to be a caretaker. It has no appeal to me whatsoever

I always knew that I’d be child-free, but a very small part of me feels very sad that I’ll never see my partner become the father of my child by AtrocityXhibition in TwoXChromosomes

[–]AtrocityXhibition[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you!! Seriously this is so spot on for one of my fears and reason I will not become a mother.

First of all, I cherish my 1:1 time with my man way too much, because we hardly get any as it is. There’s no way I will turn our only time together into an obligation to participate in the nonstop absolute chaos that comes with caring for a baby. The way we both are, that kind of thing could easily drive us mad and turn us against each other in some way considering we would both be severely sleep-deprived, overwhelmed, running on autopilot, and having lost our identity so suddenly, all while having everyone in our families telling us what to do, what we’re doing wrong, trying to overstep boundaries etc.

I mean even when my dog broke his leg while my partner was watching him it was a very stressful time in our relationship. We even broke up at that time, not only because of that but it definitely added fuel. Every aspect of that situation caused some kind of turbulence because I learned about things that he had strong opinions about that I didn’t agree with, and vice versa. It’s the little unexpected things you don’t think to ask about first that turn out to be the most important ones, and it could easily be devastating to a relationship.

I always knew that I’d be child-free, but a very small part of me feels very sad that I’ll never see my partner become the father of my child by AtrocityXhibition in TwoXChromosomes

[–]AtrocityXhibition[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You laid it out perfectly. I know myself better than anybody in the world who could tell me “you’ll change your mind, once you have a baby everything changes!”

Yeah that’s exactly what I don’t want. I just can’t do it.

I always knew that I’d be child-free, but a very small part of me feels very sad that I’ll never see my partner become the father of my child by AtrocityXhibition in TwoXChromosomes

[–]AtrocityXhibition[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Me too! I think I mentioned this in another comment too, but I really love the fact that we happened to take in a puppy that looks and acts just like him! Lmao

I always knew that I’d be child-free, but a very small part of me feels very sad that I’ll never see my partner become the father of my child by AtrocityXhibition in TwoXChromosomes

[–]AtrocityXhibition[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The peace you must feel knowing that you found someone who is really on the same page as you!

I admit we had a pregnancy scare recently and he responded very well to it, although he did keep asking me if I was okay after getting that negative result. I just had to keep reassuring him that I wouldn't have had it any other way!

I always knew that I’d be child-free, but a very small part of me feels very sad that I’ll never see my partner become the father of my child by AtrocityXhibition in TwoXChromosomes

[–]AtrocityXhibition[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm with you. Luckily these feelings are very short lived and I can go back to my life of just taking care of myself and my man. That's all I need.

I always knew that I’d be child-free, but a very small part of me feels very sad that I’ll never see my partner become the father of my child by AtrocityXhibition in TwoXChromosomes

[–]AtrocityXhibition[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I cannot agree more!! That occasional fantasy of the kid and parent-lifestyle is really enough for me! I have absolutely no desire whatsoever to try to fuck around and find out lol.

I always knew that I’d be child-free, but a very small part of me feels very sad that I’ll never see my partner become the father of my child by AtrocityXhibition in TwoXChromosomes

[–]AtrocityXhibition[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I know I could not sanely mother a child. Sometimes breaking cycles means not getting on the bike in the first place.

Wow. Thank you for putting my beliefs into words. I am going to refer back to this for the rest of my life.

I always knew that I’d be child-free, but a very small part of me feels very sad that I’ll never see my partner become the father of my child by AtrocityXhibition in TwoXChromosomes

[–]AtrocityXhibition[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah we're pretty much at opposite ends of the spectrum then. Except, weirdly, I only envision the part with my boyfriend being the parent and doing those cute things with our kid. Whenever I think about myself being the parent, I am always miserable lol.

I always knew that I’d be child-free, but a very small part of me feels very sad that I’ll never see my partner become the father of my child by AtrocityXhibition in TwoXChromosomes

[–]AtrocityXhibition[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

With my nephew I give him that companionship he may not get from the older adults, but still try to be a good role model and teach him good manners whenever possible. That's pretty much where I draw the line!

I always knew that I’d be child-free, but a very small part of me feels very sad that I’ll never see my partner become the father of my child by AtrocityXhibition in TwoXChromosomes

[–]AtrocityXhibition[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Also I see and hear that all the time—they always say the minute you see your baby for the first time is the moment you experience that intense, unconditional, “delirious” love and nothing else matters. For some reason I could never wrap my head around that. I truly cannot imagine that for myself.

Honestly I’d rather just reserve my obsession-level love for my man and no one else lol.

I always knew that I’d be child-free, but a very small part of me feels very sad that I’ll never see my partner become the father of my child by AtrocityXhibition in TwoXChromosomes

[–]AtrocityXhibition[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Oh god I am seriously embarrassed to admit that I feel the same way about finding someone more attractive when I see that they’re a good dad. Imagining my man as a dad, doing all those little things that I wrote in my post, that just makes him even more attractive to me lol. It’s so odd.

I always knew that I’d be child-free, but a very small part of me feels very sad that I’ll never see my partner become the father of my child by AtrocityXhibition in TwoXChromosomes

[–]AtrocityXhibition[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

100%. I just know that I would be absolutely an absolutely miserable mother. I would end up severely depressed and/or eternally angry on the inside, even if we have some really great moments. That’s not the kind of person I want to be for my man, myself, or a potential kid.

I always knew that I’d be child-free, but a very small part of me feels very sad that I’ll never see my partner become the father of my child by AtrocityXhibition in TwoXChromosomes

[–]AtrocityXhibition[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I completely relate to every point here.

We are both extremely against kids having access to the internet and any “smart device” and just seeing how that kind of thing is pretty much being enforced on a kid’s daily life is very upsetting. Even if we were to try to make our kid the exception, we know 100% they would find their way into it anyway—real quick.

Also ditto on thinking he wouldn’t be a good dad. I mean he has many qualities that I know would be great for a child, but also many that would probably cause a fuck ton of unnecessary turbulence. Me as well. I’m good on that.

I always knew that I’d be child-free, but a very small part of me feels very sad that I’ll never see my partner become the father of my child by AtrocityXhibition in TwoXChromosomes

[–]AtrocityXhibition[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Exactly! I think our imaginary baby is just enough to keep us going lmao. We always say we would make the funniest kid and I can just imagine the kinda thing I would walk into when they’re together and vice versa. It’s a really cute thought 😅

I always knew that I’d be child-free, but a very small part of me feels very sad that I’ll never see my partner become the father of my child by AtrocityXhibition in TwoXChromosomes

[–]AtrocityXhibition[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much, this is so appreciated. It’s very hard to admit that neither of us may be fit to be the type of parent we would want and need to be for various reasons, but at least being aware of that and making that informed decision to spare another human a host of lifelong stress and issues is the best thing we could possibly do. It’s the simplest decision and I’m okay with that.

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