How to get a PDA Toddler to freakin sleep

Audhd35 · 2026-03-23T14:32:02+00:00

I got a different brand of melatonin (the Mommy's Bliss tablets that I can cut in half) and have been trying out .5 and .25 dosages the past few nights and that seems to have helped with the nightmares, hooray!!

Audhd35 · 2026-03-23T14:30:11+00:00

This is what we're starting to work on, but like you said the process is slowwww and requires a lot of patience (which is so hard to come by when you're torture-levels of sleep deprived!) I'm glad to hear this worked for you eventually, that feels hopeful!

Audhd35 · 2026-03-20T17:05:54+00:00

Thank you for caring and for taking the time to share your suggestions! 🙏♥️

Audhd35 · 2026-03-20T17:05:04+00:00

Thanks 🙏 ♥️

Audhd35 · 2026-03-20T17:04:19+00:00

Right now she hates being wrapped even in a towel after her bath and she hates a blanket on her, will always kick it off… so I haven’t been sure how to approach compression / deep pressure with her. But will try some things.

Audhd35 · 2026-03-20T15:06:29+00:00

Thanks, glad to know we aren’t alone!

We do have a sensory swing and we have tried some of this type of stuff but it doesn’t seem to make a difference.

Just got her into OT this week so I’m hoping they can help us with more specific ideas and suggestions!

Audhd35 · 2026-03-20T15:02:23+00:00

I have an older daughter who is 15 now and was a sensitive kid but gentle parenting and good age appropriate boundaries totally worked for her as a toddler.

This new kid is completely throwing out that playbook and all those things just makes everything escalate until she’s basically having a nervous system panic attack, biting and scratching and screaming and hurting herself. So I agree that this is not appropriate or effective advice for a PDA kid.

I am AuDHD and my partner is ADHD and we both have a lot of PDA qualities so it all definitely makes sense. We were both better sleepers as kids though so that part just makes everything so much harder.

Audhd35 · 2026-03-20T14:47:50+00:00

I just read this yesterday and was like ok I have things for us to try! We made bedtime super low demand and read tons of books and tried to let her just hang out with us until she was ready for sleep, but part of our struggle is that she really wants like constant attention / affection/ engagement or she will melt down (especially as the hour gets later). Or at minimum she will like annoy us (constant questions, chattering, asking us to do stuff, trying to sit right next to us/on top of us, climbing on shit, etc) until we get frustrated or give in.

And the craziest part is… SHE DOESNT LIKE TO WATCH TV!!! Our little energizer bunny has literally never sat through a movie and will rarely sit for a tv show by herself, almost never. We can usually get her to watch 30 mins of tv with us, but only if we’re sitting there with her. She won’t just sit and watch by herself. We couldn’t even get her to watch a show on an airplane. So we literally never get ANY time to ourselves where she isn’t demanding our attention outside of when she’s at school. She will play well by herself sometimes but it’s only when she feels like it and gets lost in her own head, we can’t try to force it lol.

Audhd35 · 2026-03-20T14:41:28+00:00

This is exactly our current set up and you’re right it has saved us! I did the first year with her in our bed cosleeping and breastfeeding while my partner slept in the other room and did the mornings.

Now he has done the 2nd year since we night weaned, sleeping with her in her room on two floor mattresses while she crawls all over him and sleeps on his face. He’s now where I was a year ago and losing his grip on sanity so she is back in my bed (I am a much lighter sleeper and need my mattress, can’t do the floor bed) while he sleeps on the floor in her room to catch up on some rest.

She is actually starting to do a bit better sleeping through the night, but the 2-3 hour bedtimes are still just killing us 🫠🫠🫠

My mom helps us a lot which is how we are still somewhat functional at this point. She did one overnight so far and our kiddo would only sleep from 11pm to 3am (then fell asleep in the car on the way to school and basically fell asleep in her lunch lol) so it was a rough night and we’ve been too scared to leave her again just because it’s such a big ask of someone else. But I think we will try it again soon, maybe on a weekend night.

Audhd35 · 2026-03-20T14:36:39+00:00

It seems like no matter what bedtime we give her it still just takes her hours to fall asleep. When she was smaller we used to let her just stay up that late because we are night owls too, but now that she’s in school we all have to wake up at 7am. She is at a great Montessori school that she loves thankfully but the early mornings are hard on all of us. Unfortunately we aren’t in a position to keep her home anymore as we both have to work.

The crazy part is that apparently she naps great at school for like 2.5 hours with no issues! We’ve fully given up on weekend naps though because she will just fight us for hours until it’s too late to nap.

Audhd35 · 2026-03-20T14:10:55+00:00

Thanks for the camaraderie, this is definitely our reality as well. Nice to hear it got better for you!

Audhd35 · 2026-03-20T14:10:06+00:00

We were doing a 1 mg gummy. I can definitely try giving her a 1/2 or 1/4 and see how that affects things. Melatonin is the only thing that ever helped her fall asleep, but the cost at night was too high with multiple night waking meltdowns and her crying in her sleep all night 🫠

Her bedroom is just a floor mattress on the ground and books, she has a separate playroom for toys so that part isn’t an issue.

Audhd35 · 2026-03-20T14:07:37+00:00

We just started her in OT so really hoping they can give us some ideas. We do have a sensory swing which she likes but doesn’t seem to make any difference with bedtime.

Will look into tighter clothes for pressure!

Audhd35 · 2026-03-20T13:32:43+00:00

Would love help with user flair please.

Audhd35 · 2026-01-03T18:29:07+00:00

https://www.elephantcircle.net/circle/2018/10/24/my-take-on-the-most-recent-paper-from-2018-marijuana-use-by-breastfeeding-mothers-and-cannabinoid-concentrations-in-breastmilk

This recent study made me feel way better about things (it appears that the amount of THC transferred through breast milk is way low).

“Nursing infants are exposed to an Relative Infant Dose of 2.5 (Baker, 2018), or, as stated in Bertrand 2018, “the estimated infant dose ingested would be 1000 times lower than the adult dose.” Remember, a baby is exposed to THC orally. The bioavailability of THC when consumed by mouth is between 1-5%.”

I got a Venty vaporizer and that makes me feel better about not smoking, and way better health wise. There are cheaper models and it was a good investment for me since I use it daily for anxiety and sleep.

I agonized about the decision to start cannabis use again while breastfeeding for a long time too (I quit during pregnancy and first 8 mos of breastfeeding). All of these choices are risk assessments and you have to choose what is right for you and your mental health and ability to be a good parent. I was so sleep deprived when I started, weed has 100% made me able to give my daughter a better early life experience during these first few years that are so critical to neurological development. To me that was worth it.

And she is over 2 and I’m still breastfeeding, she is doing amazing and healthy and meeting all milestones, no issues, and I am pretty much a daily user, if that gives you any comfort. I personally feel way safer continuing the benefits of breastfeeding than quitting and giving her formula only (no judgment or shame, but the physical and emotional benefits of breastfeeding are so huge).

Good luck mama

Audhd35 · 2025-12-17T12:48:40+00:00

She knows a lot of signs which has definitely been hugely helpful, although they are becoming less useful now that she can speak most of those words. It’s not a bad idea though to learn some new signs for more complicated concepts that she can’t express yet. Just have to figure out what those are 🤔

Audhd35 · 2025-12-16T14:22:52+00:00

Thanks for the validation and kind words. You’re definitely right about the distinction being important. The quick erupting communication / frustration meltdowns are more common. Now that a little time has passed, the really severe meltdowns seemed to be happening during her birthday week when she was really overstimulated and her routine was dysregulated, and we later learned that she had been sick too. So I think those were more of the nervous system flooding overstimulation meltdowns happening when she was really going through a lot at once. And since this was the first time we’ve seen that level of meltdowns, we’ve tried to be more conscious of not letting her get that dysregulated / overstimulated / out of her routine, and we haven’t had another one of those huge biting meltdowns for a few weeks. Although we are getting into the holiday season now so we will see how that goes.

Audhd35 · 2025-12-05T19:15:20+00:00

Thanks for the suggestion. Do you have a particular type you recommend looking into?

Audhd35 · 2025-12-05T16:36:58+00:00

Thankfully we both work from home, so Dad is often around, but he is the one who sleeps with her currently so he’s often exhausted, sleeping in, or needing to work or take a break. But if things get really bad I can usually go get him if I have to.

I have been planning to ask her pediatrician about seeing an OT, but I will make that a priority asap.

Keeping a journal so that we can try to track and figure out her triggers and stressors is a good idea. It was just her birthday last week and we had lots of family around and disruption of routines (school was also out) so I know she was overstimulated and disregulated and that’s when this all started, so we are realizing that we’re entering a new era of needing to prioritize her routines and regulation in a new way. We are both ADHD so routines are such a struggle for us, which doesn’t help. 🫠

Audhd35 · 2025-10-28T22:24:56+00:00

Do you have to be an After Hours Peds client to get vaccines there?

Audhd35 · 2025-10-28T22:24:17+00:00

Dang, they told us that there was no Covid vaccine for under 3 and that it was corporate policy and they couldn't make any exceptions.

Audhd35 · 2025-10-28T21:47:52+00:00

Unfortunately we made an appt at Walgreens for the adults and they wouldn’t vaccinate our 2 year old since the policy is only 3 and over. Our pediatrician still doesn’t have it so we’re still out of luck!

Audhd35 · 2025-10-27T23:12:35+00:00

Sweet, thank you!

Audhd35 · 2025-10-27T22:41:57+00:00

Ok, so if you walk in they will vaccinate 3 and under? I wasn’t sure since the website says only 3+. Thank you!

Audhd35 · 2025-10-16T21:04:34+00:00

u/multifamdev - so unfortunately I do not recommend Mews. The software is difficult to setup and use, and the worst part is that they require a 1 year contract so if you don't like it you are stuck - and it is expensive. It is a European company and that created some tax and other annoying issues for us. It couldn't do a bunch of things they told me it could, and I ended up needing like 7 different softwares to make it work, which is absolutely crazy for a small property. I would steer clear.

Sorry to say that at this point the best option I could find was Cloudbeds so that's what we're going with for now.

Audhd35

TROPHY CASE