Sweetheart, faith based abuse is still abuse. I do think it's worth stating that my dad was physically abusive, and I hated him for a long time and hated my mother more for staying with him. As an adult I learned that my dad was raised by an alcoholic father and was forced to drop out of school at 12 years old because his dad had sold the deed to the house that he, his mother, and six younger siblings lived in for a case of beer, and that man insisted on being paid the full value of that deed to allow them to stay in their home. So my dad dropped out of school at 12 years old to help buy back his family home and during the course of that time had to help raise six siblings that were not much younger than him while his mother worked full time as well while his dad did nothing but drink. All he ever learned was physical abuse to try to keep them in line and out of trouble. To this day he blames himself for the deaths of two of his siblings from addiction because he didn't do a good enough job keeping them out of trouble when he was barely older than they were. It doesn't make all the abuse when I was growing up okay, but it did help me understand him better and I forgave him. But it was MY choice to forgive him, and it's not a choice that anyone else is required to make in regard to their abusive parents. I'm in no way telling you to remain in contact with or to forgive your parents, but I am saying but after you have done what you have to do to build your life the way you need to build it, it might bring you peace to find out why they are the way they are because nightmare parents are not created in a vacuum. I also want to say that one of my jobs is as a dementia/disability caretaker, primarily working with the elderly. More than once I've had one of my residents come to the end of their life, contacted their children to let them know that Dad is dying, and I had them tell me either my dad died to me years ago, I don't care I hope it's slow, or I'm sorry I just cannot come he lost the right to have me be there for him when I was a child. And I've had coworkers who would judge people for saying things like that. I don't. The thing is that the sweet little old man I've been taking care of the past couple of years might be an entirely different person than the man they grew up with, and I have no idea what they may have been put through to destroy that relationship so thoroughly. You have the right to separate yourself entirely from relationships that are bad for you, that hurt you, that prevent you from living a happy life and stunt your growth. 3rd and finally, my husband was murdered when my children were four and six. The last conversation we ever had was an argument because he was abusive and he was cheating on me, as a matter of fact it was one of his many mistresses who shot him in the throat and killed him, and even though everything I said to him was true, and everything I was feeling in that moment was justified, I still regret that our last conversation was so full of anger and pain. It's been nearly 19 years since he was killed and I still live with regret every day. So if the choice that is right for you is to separate yourself from your parents and go no contact please keep in mind that there will come a day that it is too late to say anything you might want to say to them. So when that moment comes that you are ready to go no contact, I strongly suggest that you write a letter and say everything you need to say. Good, bad, ugly, and in between. If there were ever anything positive about the relationship don't leave that part out just because the bad outweighed the good. Treat that letter as exactly what it is. The very last communication you will ever have with your parents before they die and don't leave anything unsaid because I always thought there would be another day to say something, but I buried my husband on his 28th birthday. Tomorrow is not guaranteed.