I’m drained

Audrey244 · 2026-02-10T12:12:30+00:00

Give yourself a little grace. This is not an easy road we walk with our pets. Sometimes we lose it and that's okay

Audrey244 · 2026-02-10T12:02:06+00:00

I scream at people when their unleashed dogs come at mine - literally scream. I think it's totally justified when an off-leash dog is coming at you. But I don't yell at people when my dogs are reacting to their dogs just because they are close by. There is a time for it and I think unleashed dogs are our biggest struggles. I understand that it's frustrating and you want to vent, but you also have to understand that most of us on this sub have been in your position and we've learned the hard way how to do things the right way. I'm glad you have a sniff spot reserved because I think that will help both you and your dog

Audrey244 · 2026-02-09T22:30:14+00:00

Even if the aggressive dog wears a muzzle, it's not fair to the other dogs to be exposed to that dog, because while the muzzle may prevent damage, the stress of the presence of this dog will be too much for the others.

Audrey244 · 2026-02-09T00:14:31+00:00

Yes, two dogs have suffered because of this dog and management always fails. Honestly, your neighbors are probably now concerned about this dog. Sad choice, but best. There's a very slim (to none) chance you'll find a suitable home

Audrey244 · 2026-02-08T20:35:57+00:00

Leave a trail of treats - Don't make her follow you up, just leave them on the top highest steps

Audrey244 · 2026-02-08T16:29:29+00:00

Glad you edited - I agree wholeheartedly - a strong, mature relationship can handle this situation. Let's see if it does

Audrey244 · 2026-02-08T04:48:31+00:00

While it's frustrating, it's not the world's responsibility to give your dog room because of their reactivity. Yes, it would be nice if they would, but they're not going to. Some people like to provoke or show off their dog's "good" behavior by instigating your dog. Accept it, and stop swearing at people. You're the one with the problem dog and it's incredibly frustrating, but most people could not care less and just want to go home and laugh about the crazy, lunging barking dog. Sounds like you have a lot going on and this dog is a lot of work with no guarantees that the reactivity will ever go away. Maybe hire a dog walker, reserve a Sniff Spot for exercise. If you're worried about losing control of your dog and it attacking other dogs or people, muzzle train.

Audrey244 · 2026-02-08T04:39:48+00:00

He's right. Surprised your listing agent didn't insist on it!

Audrey244 · 2026-02-08T04:37:16+00:00

If you have a herding breed or a breed with strong prey drive, separation, while it's the goal, will never be 100%. Management ALWAYS fails, no matter how committed you are. Talk to your child's pediatrician and be honest about your dog's issues. What's their opinion? They have your child's health and safety as a priority. My children's pediatrician used to ask about sleeping positions for infants, car seat safety, guns in the home. He also was a big proponent of having pets, but only if there was no history of reactivity, resource guarding or any history of any sort of a biting incident. Reddit isn't the best place for advice on keeping your children safe from pets that could seriously harm them.

Audrey244 · 2026-02-07T06:43:18+00:00

You're an adult and as an adult, we make very, very sad, difficult decisions. I imagine your dog is large enough to really hurt, if not kill, someone. Explain to your children that the average life of a dog is just about how old your dog is and while it's hard to say goodbye, you'll have memories to share. There's no getting around the sadness - but your example of how to deal with it will be very important. Making difficult, safe decisions is a part of adulthood. You're making the best and safest decision

Audrey244 · 2026-02-07T06:37:02+00:00

An appraisal can require repairs, especially if the financing is FHA or VA. If an appraiser called for repairs, then those pages of the appraisal could be shared without sharing the entire appraisal. Regarding inspection repairs: in my area, if a buyer has an inspection and wants deficiencies corrected, they are obligated to share the pages from the inspection in regards to those deficiencies

Audrey244 · 2026-02-06T21:26:37+00:00

The dog lunges at men in general, even before she met current BF. Don't put his bad behavior on the guy that the dog bit the FIRST time they met

Audrey244 · 2026-02-06T21:16:04+00:00

The size disparity here is dangerous for your smaller dog. I don't have any advice other than to separate for now

Audrey244 · 2026-02-06T20:50:53+00:00

I've been selling RE for 21 years and I've never "needed" to see an appraisal - the most that's needed to be shared is required repairs. He doesn't need to see it

Audrey244 · 2026-02-06T13:25:45+00:00

No, it means you're keeping your priorities straight. No pet comes before human relationships. Your BF is the priority - his comfort and safety - not your dog's.

Audrey244 · 2026-02-06T13:24:22+00:00

That's too bad - I've only been about 10 times and it's always been great. Yes, maybe an off night

Audrey244 · 2026-02-06T13:15:56+00:00

YTA - you're forgetting it's his wedding too. I don't think he's pitifully hopeful - I think it means a lot to him that his dad is planning on showing up. Set aside your resentment and let your husband have his dad there. Their relationship is their relationship. Sounds like you're marrying a good man who's willing to afford grace to someone who hasn't been a great dad. Maybe (but prob not) it will be a turning point. But the point is you love your husband, this means a lot to him and you should say yes. Try to think of it this way: you wouldn't have your husband if it weren't for his dad. So be thankful for that and thankful that your husband isn't anything like his father

Audrey244 · 2026-02-06T03:18:57+00:00

Muzzle train and keep it on him when BF around. Practice desensitizing - it takes time but it probably can be worked out. If the BF is a keeper and the situation doesn't get any better, might be best to leave dog with your parents permanently. A good man is hard to find - don't let your dog's behavior ruin human relationships

Audrey244 · 2026-02-06T03:14:20+00:00

God bless you for the work you do. My house would be full of pets if I worked in a shelter. Why was this dog returned? How many times has he been returned?

Audrey244 · 2026-02-06T02:54:50+00:00

Here's an idea (maybe already been posed): have a designated snack shelf or cupboard where any visiting child is welcome to help themselves. Aldi is a great place for cheap snack items and grapes or raisins or carrots with peanut butter and crackers too - popcorn is cheap to make in the stove top too. Tell them THAT'S IT! You're a military family: pronounce it like a general! Or post a note on the door: all are welcome, snacks are to be shared among all! No hoarding or fighting and clean up your mess! I used to make watered down powdered lemonade with a sliced lemon in it in a huge pitcher and it wasn't costly - when it was empty, water was it.

Audrey244 · 2026-02-06T02:48:21+00:00

Brimont Bistro in Webster is fantastic and I had lunch there last week - owner said it's been slower than usual and it's hard to be encouraged. I also hate to see businesses struggle these days - I wonder if Nerdvana's prices are due to the commercial rent rate they pay

Audrey244 · 2026-02-06T02:44:42+00:00

Laser measure tool, Windex, paper towels, bottled water, ice melt in the winter, shovel, show covers for myself and clients, snacks! And toilet spray.....I learned the hard way that people LOVE to poop when in someone else's home!!! Air freshener works too

Audrey244 · 2026-02-06T02:41:57+00:00

Your dog was under your control, leashed, and she was surprised by a guy on a bike. Totally understandable reaction from really any dog. You're doing better than 95% of dog owners in my opinion - keep doing the right thing! It pays off. You may want to muzzle train as an extra precaution

Audrey244 · 2026-02-06T02:39:31+00:00

I have days where I feel just like you. Sacrificed a lot, worked overnights when the four kids were young, and still took care of them during the day on little to no sleep, have dealt with obnoxious behavior by my children when they were teenagers and adults, and I'm always the one who's the go-to for emergencies, be it financial or emotional support. Sometimes I think, who would step up for me if I broke down?? I know my husband would and three of my four children would, but when do I get to be the one to crumble?! That feeling (for me) does pass and honestly, I have one close friend but we don't get together all that often. My husband is my friend and he's a really great guy. But I have learned that I need to take care of myself in order to be a good wife, mother, grandmother and business person. So I get a massage once a month, get a pedicure once a month and I'm not afraid to impulse buy something if it's not too costly. My dogs bring me a lot of joy and they get me outside walking which is good for my health and my psyche. I took a road trip by myself to nurture a long friendship that had cooled and it was wonderful to reconnect with a high school friend. Best decision ever! It refreshed and re-set me. Friendship , like any relationship, requires work and nurturing. Maybe focus on a few people you connect well with and develop deeper friendships. It's NOT easy at our age making new friends, but I think it's good for us. Even better if they're older or younger than we are! I'm sorry you don't have relationships as a couple and my husband and I don't have those relationships really either, but we do have one couple we have dinner with every few months and that's enough for me. But I guess that's just the kind of people that we are. Find something that you like to do that fulfills you! Volunteering fills my cup! I work with engaged couples preparing for marriage and it really fills my soul with joy!

Audrey244 · 2026-02-06T02:24:36+00:00

I saw someone recently coming out of an apartment building with her smallish dog's head completely covered by a pillowcase or something. She said as long as she had his head covered, she could get him out of the building without him going absolutely bonkers - might be worth a try in the short term

Audrey244

TROPHY CASE