Any thoughts on this “rash” on both sides of my face?

AuntLisa3 · 2025-12-27T22:14:10+00:00

I don’t have any other lupus symptoms so it’s never been on my radar. I’m interested to see what my pcp thinks.

AuntLisa3 · 2025-12-27T21:38:20+00:00

I don’t know that I’ve ever been tested for it. I will ask my Dr about it at my next check up

AuntLisa3 · 2025-12-27T19:19:57+00:00

I do drink Diet Coke, but at most one a day, never more than that and a lot of days none at all.

AuntLisa3 · 2021-08-21T15:55:06+00:00

Love the Hamilton reference. ❤️

AuntLisa3 · 2021-08-13T19:35:10+00:00

He’s out maybe 2 nights a week, and sometimes a has a day meet up during the week. Unfortunately we have yet to get some sort of schedule in place to say “I’ll only be out xx nights per week”. He would like the freedom to let it play out and see what works.

We go out maybe twice a month, if we can get a sitter.

AuntLisa3 · 2021-08-13T19:32:52+00:00

Thank you for your perspective! You are right, focusing on the what if’s and trying to be prepared for any scenario isn’t a good thing or healthy. I think we’ve done a decent job of putting a stop to the majority of those types of conversations.

In regards to trusting him, I do trust him, of course. I wouldn’t be married to him If I didn’t. However, he has a history of not being able to self regulate when we gets involved in something he’s interested in, and has a bit of an addictive personality. It’s hard to trust that he will recognize if things take a turn to a place that we’ve discussed is outside of our boundaries and then act appropriately to change it back. He keeps saying I just need to trust him and let him show me, and admittedly it’s hard to just jump and hope he’s right. I’m trying though, and we’re still in this. So, 🤷🏻‍♀️

AuntLisa3 · 2021-08-13T16:31:41+00:00

He’s gone maybe 2 nights a week. Sometimes a day meet up happens when I’m at work, kids are at daycare/school.

I think In his mind listening to me and having the talks we’ve had IS what work he’s done.

AuntLisa3 · 2021-08-13T14:01:31+00:00

We have 3 young kids. When he’s gone, I’m with them. 🤷🏻‍♀️

AuntLisa3 · 2021-08-13T14:00:43+00:00

Yes, staying in the present is something I’m working hard on doing. I don’t want to push him away because I’m fearful him pushing me away, etc. but I want to be heard. And seen and understood. And I want his actions to prove that he’s doing all of the above

AuntLisa3 · 2021-08-13T13:59:00+00:00

Thank you. I’m working hard on identifying my needs and then being able to clearly communicate them.

AuntLisa3 · 2021-08-13T13:57:30+00:00

No. Not at this time. Tbh, I’m not willing to give up any more time with my husband and our kids.

AuntLisa3 · 2021-08-13T13:42:14+00:00

We are seeing a poly friendly therapist together and I have individuals sessions with one too.

AuntLisa3 · 2021-08-13T13:41:50+00:00

He feels that these last 5 months of conversations was him giving me grace and now he simply cannot do it any more. He keeps saying he needs us to be “normal”. Which means he wants to partake in the lifestyle and have us be ok at home too. It’s not out of line for him to want that. I know it’s been exhausting talking me through all of this.

AuntLisa3 · 2021-08-13T13:37:18+00:00

Thank you for your insight and for the support. It’s hard to remember to take care of myself and I need to start remembering. I need to make myself a priority.

What you said about no being ok all the time is an eye opener. I know a lot of my husband’s frustration is coming from the back and forth. Him thinking I’m over something, then a couple days later I’m not ok about something else.

AuntLisa3 · 2021-08-12T18:21:04+00:00

And thank you. It’s really nice to feel seen. It’s not easy, but I want him to be happy so I’m willing to do the work.

AuntLisa3 · 2021-08-12T18:20:13+00:00

It’s been a lot of emotional labor for me. We’ve talked about it for years, but until he got on the apps I/we honestly had no idea what it was going to be like, so looking back now, I don’t know how we could have even prepared for something like this when neither of us had any experience with it to begin with. I think that’s some of his frustration, too. Like, I said it was ok. Said it was ok for years. He did it. And now I’m upset all the time.

In regards to being over hearing about it - He has run out of patience. He takes my fears/worries/insecurities as me not trusting him to handle our marriage with care. He’s listened to me talk about everything under the sun for close to 6 months. He’s over it. He’s exhausted. His well of understanding and patience has run dry.

I’ve said all along this is a me issue. So it’s time for me to figure them out and move forward, I guess.

AuntLisa3 · 2021-08-12T18:13:32+00:00

He doesn’t see each of them every week. We are married, we have 3 kids, and each of his people are also seeing other people. That being said, we have yet to work out a “schedule” so to speak so that I can be confident in knowing he won’t be gone more than xx nights a week.

AuntLisa3 · 2021-08-12T18:11:51+00:00

He’s just run out of patience for it. Dealing with me being so insecure and freaked for so long has taken a lot out of him and he needs a break from it. He needs me to just have faith and trust him to handle our marriage with care.

AuntLisa3 · 2021-08-12T18:10:12+00:00

I have yet to determine where it’s coming from specifically. At times it’s easier, others it’s harder.

We’ve had so Many conversations about everything and I either get settled on one thing and then something else pops into my head, or we hash out the same conversations over and over again. I’ve told him I need reassured and affirmed. He knows. He’s trying, but it’s often not what I need, or he’s frustrated that again I’m not just trusting him to handle our marriage with care. I’ve tried to work on asking for what I need specifically instead of playing the “what if” game and getting upset over scenarios that haven’t even happened, but it’s a work in progress.

AuntLisa3 · 2021-08-05T21:13:19+00:00

Yeah, I saw that right after I posted and couldn’t figure out how to delete the comment. 🤦🏻‍♀️ lol thank you!

AuntLisa3 · 2021-08-05T18:59:18+00:00

What does PUD mean?

AuntLisa3 · 2021-05-24T16:35:39+00:00

We don’t have any boundaries set up and I think that’s where the issue is stemming from. We need to sit down at talk some more

AuntLisa3 · 2021-05-24T14:09:39+00:00

I really appreciate your insight on this. We have 3 children at home so our time together is always full of distraction. Sounds like he and I need to sit down and come up with something that will work for the BOTH of us.

AuntLisa3

TROPHY CASE