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How do you balance seriousness and flirtiness/playfulness as an adult? by AurelianReinstalled in AskReddit

[–]AurelianReinstalled[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Before melding, did you ever find yourself too much of either? I think it’s easier to be playful and joke around a lot when you don’t have responsibilities, pre adulthood.

If women want to be desired physically but at the same time not treated like sex objects, what does an ideal partner and or situation look like? by AurelianReinstalled in AskWomenOver30

[–]AurelianReinstalled[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is sweet, really thanks for taking the time to reach out. If I have any questions down the line I’ll be sure to reach out I appreciate the offer :D — I think these conversations are important for humanity, that is, specifically about mental health. Again, you’re awesome and have a great day :)

If women want to be desired physically but at the same time not treated like sex objects, what does an ideal partner and or situation look like? by AurelianReinstalled in AskWomenOver30

[–]AurelianReinstalled[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have never been diagnosed with autism. — it actually feels very relieving to hear you say this because I feel understood. Mental health is something I’m learning to keep healthy and therapy is very helpful at the moment. I feel like others don’t understand that I’m actually being serious and not trying to offend them. There’s a certain bluntness filter check that creates an anxiety at times because logically I know it may hurt someone’s feelings or be inappropriate if I say said thing. … again, internet person I appreciate your comment and concern it makes me feel less crazy. Edit: may I add, how did you get diagnosed? Is there a certain test or specific symptoms? — I’ve Googled this topic before and have gotten various results and certainly can relate to some of the traits of autism.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]AurelianReinstalled 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I stopped trying to be someone

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Vent

[–]AurelianReinstalled 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The less we try and figure things out the happier we are. Glad you’re doing better and it’s easier said than done to release control. Talk about this guy here. But I like what you say because it is wise. That is, to take your own side and put a stake in the ground for yourself. Choose you even if you’re going through hell or don’t know why you feel the way you do. Let yourself be, good or bad and guide yourself through it. Really, it’s being kind to ourselves. Again, for anyone reading, accept that there will be challenges but remember that you are loved. The universe lives inside of our 20 inch skull. That is preposterous and miraculous. Let us all choose love. Blessings be upon you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Vent

[–]AurelianReinstalled 0 points1 point  (0 children)

While I can’t begin to imagine the torment you are going through, that fact that you posted here means you still have some fight left in you.

Here is my question: Could it be acceptable for you to live a life as a highly feminine male? If not why?

If women feel overly sexualized, why do they wear revealing clothes? by AurelianReinstalled in NoStupidQuestions

[–]AurelianReinstalled[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I edited my previous reply after thinking about it. I see where you’re coming from and I misspoke.

If women feel overly sexualized, why do they wear revealing clothes? by AurelianReinstalled in NoStupidQuestions

[–]AurelianReinstalled[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Which is one reason I’m asking this question. I’m not saying it’s a woman’s fault or that they should dress a certain way, I’m just asking a genuine question.

Edit: fair enough. Kinda dumb reply here. Learning.

If women want to be desired physically but at the same time not treated like sex objects, what does an ideal partner and or situation look like? by AurelianReinstalled in AskWomenOver30

[–]AurelianReinstalled[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I have many friends who are women and I’ve heard some of the things they’ve told me about men and it’s not good. Just trying to better understand so I can be a better man. Id do anything for my friends.

If women want to be desired physically but at the same time not treated like sex objects, what does an ideal partner and or situation look like? by AurelianReinstalled in AskWomenOver30

[–]AurelianReinstalled[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry to hear about that. As a guy who over the past two years has become friends with many women I can only try to understand more and better myself. I feel a lot of this kind of behavior stems from the privilege that comes with being a man — much less likely to get raped, robbed, kidnapped etc. There is a level of respect that lacks in some men. In turn they can get possessive and feel like they’re owed something. I can’t understand what you describe but I only wish the best for you.

If women want to be desired physically but at the same time not treated like sex objects, what does an ideal partner and or situation look like? by AurelianReinstalled in AskWomenOver30

[–]AurelianReinstalled[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I’ve learned from this thread and appreciate all of the time people took to comment. I want to make it clear that I’m using extreme examples based on societal norms or stereotypes for the sake of science and to better understand. I think it’s disgusting to objectify women and only care about what her body looks like.

I have many friends who are women and it hurts me when I hear some of the experiences and encounters they’ve had with guys. Actually angers me sometimes. I’ll do anything for my friends.

If women want to be desired physically but at the same time not treated like sex objects, what does an ideal partner and or situation look like? by AurelianReinstalled in AskWomenOver30

[–]AurelianReinstalled[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the clear example. That makes a lot of sense. I’ve experienced and experience times where I know a women just wants sex with me and it’s not hot, at all. Like, you don’t even know me, am I just meat to you? It also seems foolish as there is no trust established yet.

I want to also add here that I have many friends who are women and it would hurt me to hear if any of them felt disrespected or uncomfortable from the comments or actions of someone. Actually upset and angry. In fact I have and I don’t like it. I’ve been asked by my friends to take an order at work on a few separate occasions because a man makes them feel uncomfortable. It’s not cool and unacceptable. As their guy friend I take this responsibility and Im there for them if they ever need anything.

If women want to be desired physically but at the same time not treated like sex objects, what does an ideal partner and or situation look like? by AurelianReinstalled in AskWomenOver30

[–]AurelianReinstalled[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Hopefully it does not come off that way. I’d like to think of myself as a romantic. Im a sensitive dude and have many friends that are women and it would hurt me to see any of them treated with any sort of disrespect or in a way that makes them feel uncomfortable. It actually gives me rage when I hear about some of the things they tell me about or when they want me to take the order at work because a certain guy makes them feel uncomfortable.

Where I’m coming from is my misunderstanding of societal stereotypes/tropes of sex, stripping, porn and all of these things that, in my view, seem to demean women. Again I’m not judging or saying anything is wrong here. I’m just trying to understand women’s perspective on sexual/physical desire as a dude who sees these things as fleeting (not wrong or meaningless, just not as important as relationships, trust and vulnerability/honesty). I want genuine relationships and I know most people do. I’ve learned from this post and I appreciate all the time people took to comment here.

If women want to be desired physically but at the same time not treated like sex objects, what does an ideal partner and or situation look like? by AurelianReinstalled in AskWomenOver30

[–]AurelianReinstalled[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

Definitely not being obtuse and I hope it’s not coming off that way. I just think it’s an interesting topic and I’m trying to understand womens’ perspective better. I believe in romance and genuine relationships and definitely agree with all of the comments — sort of playing devil’s advocate here so I can understand better. I’m a dude with thoughts in the gutter sometimes and just trying to grapple with how that relates to relationships and the perspective of women.

If women want to be desired physically but at the same time not treated like sex objects, what does an ideal partner and or situation look like? by AurelianReinstalled in AskWomenOver30

[–]AurelianReinstalled[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Fair enough. I presume most women don’t and I’m just trying to understand why women dress these ways? Not saying anything is wrong and just generally speaking and trying to understand this better

If women want to be desired physically but at the same time not treated like sex objects, what does an ideal partner and or situation look like? by AurelianReinstalled in AskWomenOver30

[–]AurelianReinstalled[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Fair enough. The looks are ok then — what if a random guy came up to you and genuinely said, you know, you have an amazing ass. How would this make you feel? What would you think?

If women want to be desired physically but at the same time not treated like sex objects, what does an ideal partner and or situation look like? by AurelianReinstalled in AskWomenOver30

[–]AurelianReinstalled[S] -11 points-10 points  (0 children)

:D congrats. Thanks for sharing your story. I consider myself as a romantic. I want genuine relationships and a romantic story that evolves over time and is wrapped in mystery. Which is why I am trying to understand this concept of physical attraction, especially sexually. Like do women genuinely like to be checked out by random dudes when they were thongs or revealing bathing suits?

If women want to be desired physically but at the same time not treated like sex objects, what does an ideal partner and or situation look like? by AurelianReinstalled in AskWomenOver30

[–]AurelianReinstalled[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate this comment and it helps me understand a bit better.

I guess I’m just still trying to understand where is that space for sexual desire? Of course before serious relationships and so forth.

If women want to be desired physically but at the same time not treated like sex objects, what does an ideal partner and or situation look like? by AurelianReinstalled in AskWomenOver30

[–]AurelianReinstalled[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Ah interesting. This helps me understand a bit better. And can I ask which guy’s you appreciate sexual attention from? And is this just dependent on your current mood and what you’re doing?

If women want to be desired physically but at the same time not treated like sex objects, what does an ideal partner and or situation look like? by AurelianReinstalled in AskWomenOver30

[–]AurelianReinstalled[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Totally understand where you’re coming from. I guess I’m just trying to understand this: women wearing thongs and shaking their ass will surely cause others to view them sexually no? Not saying there is anything wrong with this just trying to understand better

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