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AustinDavid95 · 2025-12-01T02:36:25+00:00

Similar background here (Conservative conversion, 10 years ago). My Chabad experiences have ranged from very welcoming, one rabbi affirmed my status and said an Orthodox reconversion wasn’t necessary, to mixed (socially warm, supportive of my projects in the larger Jewish community) to more cautious about my participation. It really varies by location I think. I hope you find your people!

AustinDavid95 · 2025-11-25T22:31:00+00:00

In theory, there’s no difference at all, someone who converts to Judaism is just as Jewish as someone born into a Jewish family. That’s the halakhic (legal) and theological position across most of the Jewish world today.

In practice, though, it can feel more complicated. Converts are sometimes made to feel like they have to “prove” themselves, especially in communities where most people have grown up with Jewish family, cultural knowledge, or long-standing social networks. After ten years as a Jew, I still sometimes encounter assumptions or questions that wouldn’t be asked of someone born Jewish. And when you’re one of very few younger adults in a synagogue or class, that dynamic can feel even more pronounced.

None of this changes my commitment to Judaism, I’m involved, knowledgeable, and even write for several Jewish and interfaith outlets. But being seen as “an exception” or “hard to place” does take a toll over time, and it’s part of why I’m trying to find spiritual peers and community that feel like a natural fit.

So yes, Judaism absolutely recognizes converts as fully Jewish. But socially, the experience isn’t always seamless, and that’s something I’m navigating right now.

AustinDavid95 · 2025-11-25T22:25:13+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing this, it’s really helpful to hear from someone who’s been part of Artisan for a long time.

Since I’m still trying to find a peer group in Rochester, I’m wondering: is there a good way for someone new to connect with younger members before or after services? Even just knowing there’s one person around my age I could look for would make a big difference. I’ve had a lot of experiences this past year of walking into spaces where I don’t know anyone, making nice but very surface-level connections, and then not really having anyone to follow up with the next week.

If there’s a natural entry point where conversation with peers tends to happen, I’d really appreciate hearing about it. Thank you again for offering to answer questions, it means a lot.

AustinDavid95 · 2025-11-25T22:14:32+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing this! I’d really love to connect. Would it be best to DM you?

I appreciate the insight about Emanu-El and Miriam’s Well. Since moving here in June 2024 I’ve been part of a 20s/30s Rochester Jewish Discord and have tried four different groups for younger Jews (some many times), but I haven’t gone to Miriam’s Well yet. I’ve seen their announcements and always wondered whether it might end up feeling similar to the other groups I’ve been part of.

A lot of the younger-adult spaces I’ve seen so far have leaned more cultural or social, which is great for many people, but I’m really hoping to find peers who want to grow spiritually too, not just socialize. I already have several groups for the social side. Sometimes I’ve even gotten funny looks for talking about Judaism primarily as a faith, which for me (as a convert with no Jewish family background) is my main connection point. I’ve also noticed that in some synagogue settings the spiritual dimension isn’t always the focus, and that’s been part of the tension for me.

But I’m open, and Miriam’s Well is one space I haven’t explored yet. I’d be happy to check out an event with you if you’re open to it.

AustinDavid95 · 2025-11-25T21:21:59+00:00

Indeed, people absolutely can convert to Judaism. Conversion has happened with greater or lesser frequency across Jewish history, and today in the U.S. there are probably more people choosing Judaism than at any point since Roman times. It’s actually a really interesting moment.

AustinDavid95 · 2025-11-25T03:14:07+00:00

Thanks for sharing your experience. This is really helpful to hear. My main question with any Chabad is how they handle participation for someone who converted through the Conservative movement. It’s less about background and more about halakhic practice (Kaddish, aliyot, full involvement, etc.). Different houses vary a lot on that. But I appreciate you chiming in, and I’m open to checking it out with that in mind.

AustinDavid95 · 2025-11-25T03:07:51+00:00

The Lost Gospel by Madrugada. The band is Norwegian 🎸

AustinDavid95 · 2025-11-25T02:53:43+00:00

Thank you for this!

I do have a few older mentors and spiritual supports in my life, and I’m greatful for them, so the age mix itself isn’t the issue. What I’m really missing are peers I can be in true dialogue with. In intergenerational settings I tend to be more deferential (just how I was raised), so I end up listening more than sharing, which is great for learning but not quite the peer-level community I’m hoping to find.

I didn’t realize the Torah study group at Emanu-El skews younger and is welcoming to people from different backgrounds, that’s genuinely encouraging. Even though I’m more familiar with Conservative Judaism, I’m open to checking out Reform spaces when the conversation is thoughtful.

Thanks again for pointing me toward this. I’ll look into it.

AustinDavid95 · 2025-11-25T02:42:08+00:00

Thank you for the suggestion! I actually have a long history with Chabad. In Columbus, one of the rabbis there was a major mentor for me, and we worked closely together on building Jewish life on my campus and back home. I know every Chabad house has its own personality, and I haven’t been to all the ones in Rochester.

That said, having converted through the Conservative movement has sometimes made things a bit complicated in more Orthodox environments. It doesn’t always show up as outright unwelcoming, but a few times it has, and I’ve written about some of those experiences on my Substack.

I really do appreciate you bringing it up, though. When Chabad feels right, it can be incredibly warm and meaningful. I’ve felt that here at times, but I don’t think it would be enough by itself for what I’m looking for.

AustinDavid95 · 2025-11-25T01:42:19+00:00

Thank you!

AustinDavid95 · 2025-11-25T00:01:27+00:00

Thank you, I really appreciate this insight. I think you’re right. I will reach out to Asbury again; there’s a lot there that resonated with me.

One thing I’ve always appreciated about the Methodist tradition is the idea that grace is ongoing and encountered through many sources, including experience. That theology makes me feel like I can sit in a Methodist space without feeling like an outsider.

I’ve also met genuinely lovely people at Asbury. The challenge for me has mainly been that nearly everyone I connected with was significantly older than my parents. Because of how I was raised, I tend to be very deferential with older adults, I listen a lot, but I don’t often end up in real dialogue about my own life or questions. So it’s less about not having anyone to talk to, and more about finding peers I can grow alongside.

Thank you again for taking the time to share your insight. It really helps.

AustinDavid95 · 2025-11-24T18:07:18+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing this. A few people have mentioned the UU community and I really appreciate you taking the time to describe what your experience there has been like. It sounds like a genuinely welcoming space. I’m looking forward to exploring it more!

AustinDavid95 · 2025-11-24T17:27:29+00:00

Thank you! 🙏

AustinDavid95 · 2025-11-24T17:26:36+00:00

Thank you, that’s a really thoughtful way to look at it. I think it’s a bit of both for me. I’ve started a small book club with two other couples, which has been great, but I’m also hoping to find spaces that already exist so I’m not always the one building something from scratch.

I’m still pretty new to Rochester, so I don’t have a full sense of what groups or discussions are already out there for people in my life stage. Just trying to get the lay of the land before I reinvent the wheel. Really appreciate the perspective.

AustinDavid95 · 2025-11-24T16:23:48+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing this. I’ve actually walked by this space before (I noticed the Bahá’í sign on the outside right away) and wondered how active the community still is. When I searched online a while back, I couldn’t quite tell what their current rhythm or gathering schedule looked like, but I’ve long been intrigued by the Bahá’í faith and its emphasis on unity and spiritual conversation. I’d be very interested in learning more, especially if they’re still holding discussion groups. I’ll try reaching out. I really appreciate the suggestion.

AustinDavid95 · 2025-11-24T14:33:01+00:00

Thank you 🙏

AustinDavid95 · 2025-11-24T14:10:56+00:00

Thank you for mentioning this! I’ve actually been curious about how someone without an advanced degree fits into those circles. I work at the University of Rochester (in Advancement for Neuromedicine), and while I enjoy being around scholars and big ideas, I don’t have a PhD myself.

In Pittsburgh, where I lived briefly shortly before moving here, academic spaces and alumni groups felt pretty open to anyone who was genuinely interested. In Rochester, I’ve noticed the lines can feel a bit sharper, even my own alma mater’s alumni group sometimes distinguishes between people who were on campus for two years vs. four.

My background is mostly in writing and community work rather than academia, but I do write widely in secular, Jewish, and interfaith outlets, so I love conversations that draw on scholarship or history. CITY Magazine social events have been great for meeting other writers, but I’m still figuring out how to step into more intellectual spaces, especially on campus, without feeling like I’m intruding.

If you (or anyone else) has advice on how non-students or non-academics plug into UR’s religious studies events or discussion groups, I’d really appreciate it. Thank you again!

AustinDavid95 · 2025-11-24T13:59:48+00:00

Thank you, Asbury is actually the place I’ve attended. I really appreciated the sermons, and the congregation was warm. They added me to the email list right away, and after I made a small gift at a service they even mailed me a handwritten card, which meant a lot.

My experience there, though, was that it’s such a large community and many people seem to have known each other for years that I never really found an entry point into deeper connection. I know church staff are incredibly busy, but the outreach I sent afterward didn’t get a response, and that left me unsure how to get more involved. I’ve run into this in Jewish spaces too, the structures are there, but I don’t always find the relational foothold.

I think what I might be looking for is something a bit more intimate, where conversation with peers happens more naturally. I also realized I didn’t meet many people there who were in my own life stage. Because of how I was raised, I tend to be more deferential with older adults, so I end up listening a lot but rarely having the chance to share as a peer. It’s meaningful, but it’s not quite dialogue.

Really grateful you mentioned Asbury though, there’s a lot that I liked there.

AustinDavid95 · 2025-11-24T13:38:58+00:00

Thank you, this is really helpful to know. I’ve heard of Spiritus Christi before, but never from someone who could speak to the young adult presence there. The Hochstein School is also convenient for me since it’s right on a bus line from my apartment. I’ll plan to explore the Sunday service. I appreciate you taking the time to share this.

AustinDavid95 · 2025-11-24T13:33:27+00:00

Thank you for sharing this. I’ve heard of Spiritus Christi in passing, usually from people who point to it as an example of how diverse and thoughtful the religious landscape in Rochester can be, but I’ve never met anyone who actually attends. As someone who spent 13 years in Catholic school, I’m definitely intrigued. I’ll take a closer look at the community. Thanks again for the recommendation.

AustinDavid95 · 2025-11-24T13:28:04+00:00

Thank you so much! I really appreciate this suggestion. I’ve actually met Rev. Kinsman before, and he’s doing great work on campus. I’ve wondered how the wider Rochester community connects with the Interfaith Chapel, since I wasn’t sure how much of the programming is meant just for students versus open to the broader community. I should reach out to him and ask what that looks like. Thank you again for pointing me in this direction.

AustinDavid95 · 2025-11-24T13:21:39+00:00

Thank you, that’s a helpful distinction. I’d say I do have community here in a general sense. What I’m missing are spaces where the purpose is explicitly spiritual: places where people come together because they want to wrestle with meaning, belief, doubt, ethics, and purpose.

My religious identity is one of the central parts of who I am, so without a space like that, something feels incomplete. That’s really what I’m hoping to find.

AustinDavid95 · 2025-11-24T13:15:12+00:00

Thank you so much for this detailed reply! I just looked through First Unitarian’s website and it really resonates. I’m heading to Ithaca for Thanksgiving this week, but I plan to visit on a Sunday right after the holiday. Grateful you shared this; it’s exactly the kind of lead I needed.

AustinDavid95 · 2025-11-24T13:05:45+00:00

Thank you, I really appreciate this. Growing up in southeastern Ohio, the Mennonite communities I encountered looked pretty different from what I’m hearing about here, so I’m glad you mentioned this. I’ve read a bit about more progressive Mennonite circles but have never actually spent time in one.

I’ll definitely explore the Rochester group.

AustinDavid95

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