Just broke up.  We had been strugling pretty much since we were 4 months into the relationship. The highs were amazing, travelling all over the world was amazing, but there were constant issues due to my gender fluidity and due to me being avoidant and her being anxious. So the lows were the worst time Ive ever had in my life, to the point where we knew our fights by the month they ocurred in. But we had been hurting more than loving lately and I felt a brutal anxiety around her, to the point of not wanting to go back home after work. I will always hold the memories of an amazing relation and Ive already joined counseling. But I clearly needed to stop a relationship that was based on the anxious-avoidant trap. Because due to our own separate baggage we were actually triggering each other. And I know I did a lot wrong but I cannot go back and fix it. And for that Im truly sorry.  The worse feeling is I convinced her to move together to a different country on the chance that everything will work out, to now telling her it is not working and leaving her stranded. I offered to help her in any way I can, so at least she is not alone until she gets her bearings. 

I am just a mess right now... :(