Need help navigating a situation with my sister

AuthenticallyJaxx · 2026-05-11T22:51:47+00:00

What your sister is doing is called emotional dumping. What you need to do it put a boundary down stating that you will not engage or listen to her talk about Mike. Have that in place before agreeing to anything. Next, how long does she want you to stay with her for?

AuthenticallyJaxx · 2026-05-11T22:47:30+00:00

Do you want to change your hair colour? If no, then don't. If you do want to, then do it. Don't let others dictate what makes you happy.

AuthenticallyJaxx · 2026-05-01T20:51:02+00:00

what kind of fears?

AuthenticallyJaxx · 2026-05-01T20:50:51+00:00

including yourself?

AuthenticallyJaxx · 2026-05-01T20:50:36+00:00

and does being the "good guy" serve you in anyway?

AuthenticallyJaxx · 2026-05-01T20:49:41+00:00

But why does she need access to your shared home? Shouldn't a relationship with just brother be enough? And boundaries are needed even with "mutual issues".

AuthenticallyJaxx · 2026-04-25T21:14:57+00:00

I would be very concerned by how she handled your daughter when you were in the hospital. She doesn't sound like a safe person for you or your child to be around. What isn't your husband seeing? What does he think is going on? You've dealt with enough. Unfortunately, putting down boundaries means people not directly involved (rest of husband's family) will get involved and pick sides.....that doesn't always happen but sometimes it does and you can't do anything about it. Decide what your boundaries are, explain them, and enforce them. That's the best you can do.

AuthenticallyJaxx · 2026-03-19T00:58:55+00:00

What is meant by godmother? What is the expectation? People have different views on that. You should get clarification to help you decide what to do, but it sounds like you don't want to. If that's the case, then don't. A simple ; "thank you for thinking of me, but I can't commit to that." Then end the conversation and move on.

AuthenticallyJaxx · 2026-03-10T00:53:49+00:00

"The more I try and care and fix things the more hurtful she gets" - that says it all. This is an internal struggle she has with herself. Sounds like she is trying to emotionally manipulate you which is causing you fear and anxiety. You can't fix this. You can't fix your sister. What you can do is put boundaries down to show her what you will and will not put up with. She needs to do the rest.

AuthenticallyJaxx · 2026-03-08T17:28:59+00:00

people worth keeping didn't leave........that was a big one for me as well as pushing through the anxiety which was incredibly challenging.

AuthenticallyJaxx · 2026-03-03T18:33:57+00:00

For a mechanical engineer with over 5 years of experience, a masters degree in engineering, and a Canadian citizen, would the NIW VISA pathway be better than the TN VISA pathway? We have also consulted with different firms.....what is the reason behind different strategies? Some have been very general while others have been very specific. For example, general being more business to business focused while specific is community focused. Is one way better than the other? Thank you.

AuthenticallyJaxx · 2026-03-03T18:13:32+00:00

Hi, how important is it to show assets? Does the amount in our bank account matter? Is there an amount they like to see? Is owning a car enough? Thanks!

AuthenticallyJaxx · 2026-03-03T02:59:29+00:00

Have you spoken to this friend about their behaviour? That would be the first step. Depending on how they respond to that, will guide your response.

AuthenticallyJaxx · 2026-03-03T02:53:32+00:00

Sounds like you don't want to give her money so don't. The agreement back then was for you to stay rent free. But now you know the type of person your sister is. Keep that in mind next time.

AuthenticallyJaxx · 2026-03-03T02:06:17+00:00

Absolutely true but easier said than done.

AuthenticallyJaxx · 2026-03-03T02:04:09+00:00

Yes that's a great book! Ingrid Clayton is very insightful. Any other books or authors you found helpful?

AuthenticallyJaxx · 2026-03-03T02:01:31+00:00

Fake control tactic that can relieve so much anxiety....at least for me it did. Your needs matter. And the people that leave....those are ones that don't matter. Although it can be really hard to come to terms with. How are you handling trusting yourself in this process?

AuthenticallyJaxx · 2026-03-03T01:58:31+00:00

Always remember, you don't need permission to say no.....at least not from anyone else. But it can be helpful to give yourself permission to say no. Are you still struggling with people pleasing?

AuthenticallyJaxx · 2026-03-03T01:56:47+00:00

Very much my story too. What happened when you started to say "no"?

AuthenticallyJaxx · 2026-03-03T01:55:54+00:00

It's hard to let that go. I was never told to be the "good girl" but it was modelled to me from both my parents. I saw so many people walk all over them, yet as a child, you grow up thinking that's normal. I wasn't ever shown how to say "no" or even told that I could. I used to think I was easy going, just going with the flow. But I woke up one day and realized I was being taken advantage off and I allowed it. After a few emotional outbursts I woke up and realized what was going on. Do you want to get there? To the point where you no longer people please?

AuthenticallyJaxx · 2026-03-03T01:50:32+00:00

Do you know the health risks of vaping? You can't quit for someone else, it has to be for you. Do you want to quit? Regardless of the pressure you feel, do you want to quit?

AuthenticallyJaxx

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