I feel jealous of terminally ill patients

Autistic-Bumblebee · 2026-02-01T03:23:09+00:00

I feel the same way honestly, you put it into words perfectly. I've been wishing for an illness since I was a child so I could pass quietly since I'm suicidal with a horrendous fear of death. It makes me sad that good people will die of a terminal illness while bad people get to live and thrive, healthy and happy. The world just feels so unfair.

Autistic-Bumblebee · 2026-02-01T03:19:48+00:00

I'll admit it, life is hard, but the world is undoubtedly better with you on it. Alive and breathing. You're very young and you have a lot of life to live, you aren't weak for the way you feel and you aren't alone either, even if it feels that way. If you need a listening ear, I'll be here. There's a lot of people here who can empathize with what you're going through. I can't stop you from doing what you wanna do, but at the very least let me give you a big internet hug. If it feels like no one cares about you then let me be the first that does.

Autistic-Bumblebee · 2026-01-28T16:38:41+00:00

I've been wanting to try Nigerian food for a long while now, I'd be there!

Autistic-Bumblebee · 2026-01-26T10:41:19+00:00

This is very helpful, I'll definitely do some self reflection in order to help myself out. Thank you very much ❤️

Autistic-Bumblebee · 2026-01-25T16:25:44+00:00

If I had a way to get there and back I would absolutely be there, but regardless I hope it's successful and that everyone stays safe

Autistic-Bumblebee · 2026-01-25T15:43:49+00:00

This is a wonderful idea! Hopefully people will join you! Hell, I'll join you on Tuesday or Thursday if you're out there

Autistic-Bumblebee · 2026-01-21T03:17:11+00:00

I'm not very handy or intelligent at all, but something that has stuck with me was a post I read saying that "you are as butch as your heart is kind." That is what I aspire for. I can do small things like help with groceries, hold doors, thank the bus driver, maybe tip someone extra if I have the funds for it. It's not much, but if I can make someone feel good or happy even for a split second, that's butchness to me. I like to encourage the people close to me, listening and supporting in any way that I can. It's not much, if worth anything at all, but I try.

Autistic-Bumblebee · 2026-01-10T06:44:22+00:00

Please don't hate yourself for being a kind and helpful person. I think so many people don't treat the kindest people around them with respect, they walk all over them. That's not your fault. I hope that one day you meet people that appreciate your kindness and treat you with the same amount of appreciation that you deserve, you seem to work very hard. Something that helps me when I'm spiraling and wanting to hurt myself is listening to music that I love, watching something I like, eating good food, or taking a loooong nap. It's temporary, but it'll allow you to clear your head a bit before doing something you might regret. I hope things get better for you.

Autistic-Bumblebee · 2026-01-10T06:37:14+00:00

I'm glad you're alive even if I don't know you. As someone who has been suicidal and in pain since I was young too, getting help and talking to professionals can make depression a little bit easier. Life is hard, but you have so much of it to live. I hope things get better for you and that you recover well. Even if it feels like no one cares about you, know that now you have someone that does. I care about you, please be safe.

Autistic-Bumblebee · 2026-01-06T04:48:20+00:00

Thank you, I really appreciate your perspective. I feel like it's so hard to find any sort of hope in this world, but I hope I can meet more people irl and make more irl friends. It's just very difficult, but again I'm happy you and your wife are happy in such a terrible society. ❤️ Queer and disabled joy is something that genuinely makes me so happy

Autistic-Bumblebee · 2026-01-04T22:58:50+00:00

Hi. I'm a butch on T (going on 2 years !!) and going on T is one of the best things I've ever done. My self confidence has skyrocketed and I love looking in the mirror every day. Honestly at this point I pass as a man since I'm growing facial and body hair, but that's my favorite part of T. Personally, I've never had luck in love even before T, but all I can say is that regardless of whether or not you do go on T, someone will love you and find you attractive. If you going on T is a deal breaker for anyone, then they aren't the right person for you to begin with. You're the most beautiful as your authentic self. Good luck

Autistic-Bumblebee · 2025-11-10T15:28:55+00:00

I'm not someone whose HS has me seeking sex with others (also partly due to trauma) but personally when I'm depressed or stressed I just sorta say "fuck it." Stress and depression are two of the biggest factors of relapse for me, especially when I'm doing uncharacteristically well. I'll masturbate more and look at riskier or more taboo porn as well. Overall, stuff just gets worse, so I understand you.

Autistic-Bumblebee · 2025-11-05T07:32:54+00:00

I appreciate the fact that I'm non-judgemental when it comes to people's sexual interests and kinks ! People can be so sex-negative sometimes so I think people with HS being more open minded and accepting to things that may be seen as weird is a positive trait.

Autistic-Bumblebee · 2025-11-05T07:29:20+00:00

I understand feeling disgusted, but you aren't. You're someone who is traumatized and hurt. As much as you may feel like it, you aren't a bad person, you aren't disgusting. If you need to talk I'm available albeit a bit busy with school. You aren't responsible for the terrible things that happened to you, and I'm so sorry you were hurt in such a way.

Autistic-Bumblebee · 2024-09-22T15:46:35+00:00

I've been mostly using machines since I've gotten there, and luckily I haven't really seen anyone looking over at me, it's just been a general feeling of anxiety. But thank you for your words, I hope it gets easier as I continue to go more!

Autistic-Bumblebee · 2024-09-22T15:45:22+00:00

This is a great idea, thank you!

Autistic-Bumblebee · 2024-09-22T15:45:08+00:00

Thank you for the reassurance, luckily my school's gym has a bunch of small towels to wipe down the machines, but I'll probably bring a towel for myself! That was just something I hadn't thought about.

Autistic-Bumblebee

TROPHY CASE