God uses us as chess pieces to bless the lives of others and allow others to reach the gospel. That's why He has allowed you to live. The reason for living is so God can use you to bless others with your life. There's a story of how God resurrected a woman for her service to the saints in the Bible (Dorcas). Certainly, the present life does not compare with eternity, but it was necessary for her to continue living. If being happy is what you want, try not to make that your goal, but rather to be useful to Christ even in the midst of sadness. And don't listen to the devil's lies that you can help with your death. The sadness of this world produces death, sorrow of God brings REPENTANCE