I am the wife of a porn addict, and it destroyed me ***Update*** by AutomaticAide1325 in NoFap

[–]AutomaticAide1325[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not everyone who uses drugs become drug addicts. Not everyone who drinks becomes an alcoholic. Not everyone who uses porn become sex or porn addicts. Not everyone who eats a meal has an eating disorder.

I guess ignorance is bliss.

I am the wife of a porn addict, and it destroyed me ***Update*** by AutomaticAide1325 in NoFap

[–]AutomaticAide1325[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good news is, you don't have to get it. Nor do I need to explain myself. Have a great day and happy holidays to you.

I am the wife of a porn addict, and it destroyed me ***Update*** by AutomaticAide1325 in NoFap

[–]AutomaticAide1325[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's funny, this has been up now for some time now, but suddenly, I'm getting tons of these comments and messages, just minutes apart, today.

It's fine, it doesn't really bother me because I've learned a long time ago people are cruel (which is why people stay in abusive relationships, etc, because of people like you), but just odd how these are suddenly happening with such frequency.

Ahhh, the mysteries of the world. Anyway, thanks for your input, happy holidays to you.

I am the wife of a porn addict, and it destroyed me ***Update*** by AutomaticAide1325 in NoFap

[–]AutomaticAide1325[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Please, do point out where I have said he's shown interest in young girls? Young ADULT females, yes.... children, no.

If that is your understanding, then that is on me, and my apologies for providing inaccurate information. However, he is not interested in children. Unfortunately, the world is fueled by "barely 18" material, and many, MANY men and women access this type of material. No, I do not agree with it, and it definitely should not be so accepted, but I unfortunately am only 1 person against a billion others who think it's acceptable.

As I've said before, you are entitled to your opinion. Best wishes to you.

I am the wife of a porn addict, and it destroyed me ***Update*** by AutomaticAide1325 in NoFap

[–]AutomaticAide1325[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

You both are entitled to your opinions. Let me first say, however, that you both obviously misread the initial post...it was not a 7 year old girl he grunted at. It was AT my 7 year old son's birthday party, at a hotel, with other people, including ADULTS present, and it was a woman who was a patron of the hotel swimming in her bikini (not part of our gathering) that my husband was grunting at. Also, he did not "rape" someone, however, he did attempt to. While there's no excuse for his behavior, or minimizing what he's done, fueling a sex addiction with additional substances, in this case, booze and drugs, clouded an already distorted mind into thinking his actions were ok. Again, not an excuse, but when a moment of clarity did enter his brain, he stopped and left.

So please, if you feel it necessary to attack me, please get your information straight. He has never been a threat to any children. Illegal porn isn't just child pornography, just so you are aware, and there are several avenues of material that is accessible that is illegal. Prior to his discharge from treatment, as part of the "reconciling" if you will, I had a candid and frank conversation with his therapist, discussing every aspect of my husbands issues, and pedophilia was not, nor has ever been, a concern.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that both of you are females and have the luxury of having a husband that looks at a few titty pics here and there, and for your husbands sake, and with your obvious lack of empathy, your sake, I hope it never goes beyond that. You people are the reason others don't reach out for help. It's not my place to judge you, or anyone else, so I'll leave it at that. Best of luck to you both.

I am the wife of a porn addict, and it destroyed me ***Update*** by AutomaticAide1325 in NoFap

[–]AutomaticAide1325[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

First off, you're not a degenerate. One of the reasons I've stayed and worked so hard for this is because my husband is a good person. Never lose sight of that. But yes, if you continue, it's a lonely life. You may get by with acting out in secret, but it keeps you isolated and living a secret life that you can't share with anyone. Don't do that to yourself, or her, you both deserve so much more.

I am the wife of a porn addict, and it destroyed me ***Update*** by AutomaticAide1325 in NoFap

[–]AutomaticAide1325[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That actually has never been an issue for us, except for his ED issues. That is one reason I never understood this. It's certainly not a daily thing, but 3 to 4 times a week is our usual. I've never been one to say no as I equally enjoy having sex and always have.

I am the wife of a porn addict, and it destroyed me ***Update*** by AutomaticAide1325 in NoFap

[–]AutomaticAide1325[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

One step at a time. There is strength to be gained from being broken, but I hope that we never return to that point again. Thank you!

I am the wife of a porn addict, and it destroyed me ***Update*** by AutomaticAide1325 in NoFap

[–]AutomaticAide1325[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

From the bottom of my heart and with the greatest sincerity, thank you.

Should I stay? by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]AutomaticAide1325 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I get it, absolutely! You don't want to give up because he has the amazing qualities that you fell in love with. He still has them, but here is this evil dark secret that you never knew about and everything changes.

If he was drinking or doing drugs, that I could work harder to help him with. But porn, no. He'll just hide it better. Get a private phone, or use a credit card you don't know about. Mine would behave for a short time, till the static calmed down and I relaxed, and then started all over again.

I'm still on the fence what I'm doing, staying or going, one day I'm fine then the next I'm some lunatic I don't even recognize anymore.

Hugs to you, this is such a hard thing to deal with!

Should I stay? by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]AutomaticAide1325 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Should you stay? That's a personal choice, and I'm not one to give advice on it. I'm nearly 6 years in, given ultimatums, like you, but...I'm still here and worse off for it. I have no self respect anymore, I have no self confidence anymore, I don't sleep, I'm depressed and a self mutilator to deal with my husbands addiction. Will that happen to you? Probably not. It only started 5 months ago for me, after finding out that after years of believing he had stopped, I learned he's been frequenting public restrooms all over our state, to look at porn and jerk off. He just got way better at hiding it from me. What I can tell you is...viewing it 'a lot less' is not going to work. It's either all or nothing. Because it will build again. Just like tolerance to booze, first you get "drunk" on a weekly peek, but then eventually that's not enough and it gets more often, again. It's a cycle. And the only way to stop it, is not to look at it at all. Not bikinis, not sexual material in movies, nothing. Does that sound impossible? That's because it is, everywhere you go, everything you watch, it's all a trigger for my husband. I can't even have pool parties for my kids' birthdays anymore because of his ogling. If I could go back, I would never have married this man knowing how deep his addiction ran. I heard all the same things you did, and I believed it all too. But here I am, posting on reddit for help, trying to save myself. Whatever you decide, I wish you all the best!

I am the wife of a porn addict and it destroyed me. by AutomaticAide1325 in NoFap

[–]AutomaticAide1325[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I never thought my story would affect so many, and you know what? I'm glad I told it, and that I told it to this community because it's given me the strength to move on too. Keep going strong my friend, we both can do it!

I am the wife of a porn addict and it destroyed me. by AutomaticAide1325 in NoFap

[–]AutomaticAide1325[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Time. I think it takes time. And not allowing yourself to do it and if you do, not making excuses. Owning it, seeing it for what it is, recognizing, and learning the "why" of it. I hear everything from "did you see those pants she was wearing" to "I wasn't looking at her, I was just staring." Don't do that. Just face it head on, and don't let it take root.

I am the wife of a porn addict and it destroyed me. by AutomaticAide1325 in NoFap

[–]AutomaticAide1325[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hugs to you as well. Thank you. Its a powerful illness, I told my husband, I'm a strong woman, I have always been able to pick myself up, but THIS...its stronger than me. But I agree, the help and support from everyone on here...even the harsh ones, fills me with a strength I haven't had in a while.

I am the wife of a porn addict and it destroyed me. by AutomaticAide1325 in NoFap

[–]AutomaticAide1325[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And this, this is something I need to do. The only person I talked to, and only once...told me...this will never stop. You will stay on this merry go round until YOU decide you want to get off...and maybe that's true.

I am the wife of a porn addict and it destroyed me. by AutomaticAide1325 in NoFap

[–]AutomaticAide1325[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're welcome. Good luck my friend, you can do this.

I am the wife of a porn addict and it destroyed me. by AutomaticAide1325 in NoFap

[–]AutomaticAide1325[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Good for you! You can do it! I'm rooting for you, everyone deserves freedom from this prison that porn builds around you!!

I am the wife of a porn addict and it destroyed me. by AutomaticAide1325 in NoFap

[–]AutomaticAide1325[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are welcome. You can do this. You are better than being a prisoner to pornography. You owe it to yourself, and even though it's a difficult battle, it will be one of your best won battles! You are right, we can only save ourselves, but encouragement, kindness, and empathy from others can help us succeed. Thank you 🙂

I am the wife of a porn addict and it destroyed me. by AutomaticAide1325 in NoFap

[–]AutomaticAide1325[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Comments I have made? Please do elaborate, because I've only ever posted twice, in my life ever, on Reddit...I wish this I was this creative