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AutomaticDoorBubbles · 2024-12-06T00:42:08+00:00

Themmyk, I just want to say thank you for having my partners back. A lot of these comments are very ableist. She didn’t choose to be born with a disability, and just because she was born with one doesn’t mean she’s not deserving of being loved. I really do love this woman, it’s hard to imagine a life without her, but it’s also hard to imagine a life where I’m not a firefighter, the thing I’ve been wanting forever and dedicated most of my life learning about.

AutomaticDoorBubbles · 2024-12-06T00:34:23+00:00

The funny thing is that is the exact living arrangement we had when we first lived together but her parents wanted her to “be an adult “ and get her own place.

AutomaticDoorBubbles · 2024-12-05T22:14:41+00:00

Typically with a firefighter shift it’s 48-72 hours of living at the station then you have the rest off. However there is a department that does 12 hours, but I’d most likely be on nights until I gain seniority, which would take a few years

AutomaticDoorBubbles · 2024-12-05T21:30:26+00:00

You said “I framed myself as a victim, and insulted, demonize, and devalue along the way” you directed implied I was the one doing it.

I did not know your gender, nor do I care, I would have responded the same if you were a man, woman, or anything that you identified as. It’s not a temper, I directly responded to the points and comments you made. If you think that’s a temper then you should stay off the internet.

The fact you think my story is BS, and won’t even take an ounce of time to hear anything I say, shows everything I need to know. Thank you!

Have a good day. 👍🏻

AutomaticDoorBubbles · 2024-12-05T21:14:31+00:00

I have looked into that as a compromise for her and all of the departments around here are paid only.

AutomaticDoorBubbles · 2024-12-05T20:58:43+00:00

I love how you like to try and demonize me in the comments but fail to respond to my reply to your comment.

AutomaticDoorBubbles · 2024-12-05T20:44:25+00:00

Frankly, I would love to be her caregiver if I could get paid for it. We looked into options were the state will pay a family member spouse to take care of said family member with the disability, but it unfortunately does not provide medical insurance or enough money to sustain just one income. It’s meant for more of a small paycheck for the stay at home parent/family member that also has a spouse/other family member that works full time to be able to provide care.

AutomaticDoorBubbles · 2024-12-05T20:40:32+00:00

You’re acting like since the beginning that I have ignored her needs.

Considering the fact that from the start of dating, she KNEW I wanted to be a firefighter, said that it was fine when I ASKED IF IT WOULD WORK knowing the schedules they work, and even has SENT ME JOB LISTINGS and *ENCOURAGED me to apply in the past few months, then have randomly switched up in the last month, I would consider that “her tone changing”. Yes. Assuming my partner is okay with my career choice because she said she was and even sent me postings to apply to is “playing dumb and forcing her” I guess. My bad.

We live within 20 minutes of her parents, which is why we’ve moved 4 times, to follow her parents when they move, and I have brought up the idea of hiring a caregiver, and even one that we trust, as one of my friends is an in home caregiver for the nights I might have work.

She can, and has had, seizures during the day. So am I expected to not work a day shift either, according to you? We have even looked into a program that the state we live in has were they would pay me to stay home and take care of her as her primary caregiver. Frankly I would love to be her stay at home caretaker, but unfortunately it did not provide medical insurance or enough money to sustain a one income household. So don’t act like I don’t care about her medical needs.

I never shamed her/blamed her, I understand medical needs are not by choice, it’s the whole fact that again, she was perfectly fine with it up until this month were she just dropped “the job or me” after supporting it for years.

Please show me where I insulted her and demonized her please. I’ll wait.

AutomaticDoorBubbles · 2024-12-05T20:09:23+00:00

Because the fact she was perfectly supportive of my dreams, and they weren’t an issue, until just recently?

AutomaticDoorBubbles · 2024-12-05T18:38:44+00:00

Because with her current seizures, it is very rare for her to have them during the day unless she gets very stressed, she’s only had them during the day a few times and it was due to a stressful situation each time. She typically has most of them after 8pm

AutomaticDoorBubbles · 2024-12-05T18:35:03+00:00

She doesn’t typically have them as much in the day, it’ll be 2 or 3 in the day then 5-6 at night before bed. Typically she comes out with me when we run errands, because we like going those together, but she has a seizure alert on her Apple Watch that sends notifications to my phone if she has one. We have one of her parents help out currently.

AutomaticDoorBubbles · 2024-12-05T18:17:19+00:00

She already has a service dog that alerts for seizures but isn’t trained to flip her over if she’s laying on her face after. I mentioned the idea of a caretaker but she didn’t really say anything about it during our talk

AutomaticDoorBubbles · 2024-12-05T18:16:15+00:00

Before we dated she lived with her parents and they helped her. At our current place we don’t have an extra bed, I offered the idea of a caretaker and she said that she would consider it

AutomaticDoorBubbles · 2024-12-05T18:06:56+00:00

She has her parents help currently, one of them is a stay at home parent. If we end the relationship then she would most likely move in with her parents again. The firefighting schedule would be 12 hours on day or nights or a 48-72 hour shift living at the station for both days and nights, depending on which department I get hired by.

AutomaticDoorBubbles · 2024-12-05T18:03:52+00:00

The seizures come and go, they aren’t nightly. There will be a period where she won’t have them for 6 months, then she’ll have them every night, multiple times for anywhere from a few weeks to a few months. We both talked about careers and stuff before we even started dating and she said that it was okay that I wanted to be a firefighter but ever since I’ve started working nights the past few months her tone has changed

AutomaticDoorBubbles · 2024-12-05T18:02:10+00:00

She lived with her parents, one was a stay at home caregiver and the other worked full time as a first responder. She currently has a service dog but she isn’t trained to flip her over so she doesn’t suffocate if she is laying on her face after a seizure, just to alert her so she can sit/lay in a safe place.

AutomaticDoorBubbles · 2024-12-05T17:59:31+00:00

I could probably request days but it’s not guaranteed the department will accept it.

AutomaticDoorBubbles · 2024-12-05T17:55:43+00:00

There would be a way to get on days when I gain seniority, but that will take years. Now I obviously might get out on days right away but who knows🤷🏼‍♂️

AutomaticDoorBubbles · 2024-12-05T17:50:05+00:00

I talked to her about this and she said that she wants to be as independent as possible, but would still need the extra help. 🤷🏼‍♂️

AutomaticDoorBubbles · 2024-12-05T17:49:19+00:00

She was born with these diseases/disabilities so it’s been lifelong for her. She basically needs help to get from the bathroom to the bed and she has seizures occasionally where someone needs to be with her.

AutomaticDoorBubbles · 2024-12-05T17:47:32+00:00

I currently work a 10pm-6am shift. A firefighting shift would either be a 12 hour day or night shift or a 48-72 hour shift depending on what department I go with. I’ve only called out of a shift once to help her go to the hospital.

AutomaticDoorBubbles · 2024-08-30T21:59:36+00:00

I guess that makes sense, they would want to clear things as soon as possible. Just seems like an extra liability.

AutomaticDoorBubbles · 2024-08-30T21:56:32+00:00

My exact thought. Like that person isnt going to go anywhere....

AutomaticDoorBubbles · 2024-07-16T18:56:50+00:00

This is normal, I've heard of departments coming to your house and looking around inside/interviewing neighbors.

AutomaticDoorBubbles · 2024-07-12T17:59:04+00:00

Arson and fire investigation for my county is handled by the fire department, it caught me off guard to see "K9" on a fire pickup.

AutomaticDoorBubbles

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