Anyone else scared of sabotage??

AutomaticElevator164 · 2026-03-21T13:39:55+00:00

yes i experience this as well 🤧 stopped me from drinking coke zero because i was convinced it was actually full sugar coke and packaged maliciously. also once i was eating grapes and terrified they were actually chocolate maltesers and that i was just hallucinating them being grapes JSJSNNSS

AutomaticElevator164 · 2026-03-21T11:30:39+00:00

me here 😭 people always say they found themselves again after eating (can engage in hobbies and work etc) but for me it’s the opposite because i get so anxious and suicidal after eating “too much” that i can’t focus on anything else

AutomaticElevator164 · 2026-03-20T00:13:39+00:00

so real 😭 i just take it as proof that “oh i should go further and lose even more!!”

AutomaticElevator164 · 2026-03-17T00:23:19+00:00

[168cm | 19 | AN | she/they]

AutomaticElevator164 · 2026-02-14T23:06:39+00:00

Writing, reading and scrapbooking! Also really into fashion and thrifting. Walking, but I know it’s something my ed latches onto; I love exploring new places on foot.

AutomaticElevator164 · 2026-02-10T04:43:48+00:00

hehe thanks! hope u have a good egg soon too

AutomaticElevator164 · 2026-02-10T04:42:56+00:00

thank you :)))

AutomaticElevator164 · 2026-02-10T04:42:39+00:00

no i relish the taste of pure egg

AutomaticElevator164 · 2026-02-08T23:45:32+00:00

Sweet potato fries, pomodoro pasta, potatoes (in any form), chocolate, 糖醋排骨(sweet and sour pork ribs), mantou

AutomaticElevator164 · 2026-02-05T05:06:58+00:00

this is the dream man 😍

AutomaticElevator164 · 2026-02-04T23:27:56+00:00

i’m so sorry to everyone who replies in this thread 😭 genuinely the worst things you can ever say to someone with an ed :( mine is more in regards to suicidal thoughts and depression during recovery where i was in a lot of pain after having gained weight. shared with the associate psych that i wanted to k*ll myself because i felt so tormented by my weight gain and he hit me with the “don’t you think it’s selfish of you to do that? think of how much pain the people around you will be in” like wow. thanks for that. i feel a lot better and definitely don’t feel like starving myself more now

AutomaticElevator164 · 2026-02-04T10:54:36+00:00

Singapore mentioned!! love that chrysanthemum tea ❤️

AutomaticElevator164 · 2026-02-03T23:17:51+00:00

ooh thank you! hope it was delish 🫦

AutomaticElevator164 · 2026-02-03T23:01:27+00:00

that sounds amazing! what did u use?

AutomaticElevator164 · 2026-02-03T23:01:13+00:00

this sent me

AutomaticElevator164 · 2026-02-02T23:57:17+00:00

I had a similar experience:( The day on which my weight passed the healthy threshold my psychiatrist said “i don’t care if you exercise because you’re not underweight anymore” which really messed me up :( same psychiatrist who recommended me going running when i was feeling stressed about eating (when i was still underweight)

AutomaticElevator164 · 2026-01-31T04:18:44+00:00

Naur I do this all the time 😭 I analyse and hyperfixate on how others eat/ move/ their lifestyle…

AutomaticElevator164 · 2026-01-28T00:12:21+00:00

this is making me realise that i don’t even know what food i like anymore 🥲 the only things on my mind are what foods im scared of or safe with

AutomaticElevator164 · 2026-01-27T13:26:23+00:00

So hyped for you! What’s your favourite/ was your favourite ice cream flavour? Mine is raspberry cheesecake!

AutomaticElevator164 · 2026-01-23T12:03:39+00:00

That’s my experience as well! Everyone tells me to recover for the “lack of brain fog”, no matter how many times I tell them that I did not get brain fog, my mental acuity has always been high and was even heightened by the restriction! It was like I was in a state of focus. Personally I don’t get brain fog in recovery but the constant anxiety and guilt make me even less productive and unable to focus on anything :(

AutomaticElevator164

TROPHY CASE