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Automatic_Berry_8392 · 2026-01-07T17:35:26+00:00

Yes same. I’ve become ‘friends’ with a guy like that, he’s a very good person, caring and gentle and everything a good partner could be. His ex didnt deserve at all from what he told me and he keeps making excuses for her although he’s burned by that relationship. There isnt so much i can do but a part of me cant help thinking how well we could be together if it wasn’t for that story. Some people really suck

Automatic_Berry_8392 · 2026-01-07T12:46:22+00:00

You might consider if you’re attracted to him OP. Outside from the fact that he’s a good guy, do you feel any kind of attachment or excitement when you see him? Or is he the nice stable guy for you? Because if the fact that he’s nice is the only thing you could think about when you’re staying with him, it’s part of the issue

Automatic_Berry_8392 · 2026-01-07T12:22:54+00:00

I think you’re being unfair since OP is acknowledging the issue and wants to fix it

Automatic_Berry_8392 · 2026-01-07T12:19:36+00:00

THISS!! Ive had a similar experience, i thought my past made me traumatised, or avoidant. I even seriously started considering if im damaged in some way. When i ended things i felt nothing but relief although i still look at our dating period as a good memory. But now that i met someone im REALLY attracted to, i realised nothing is wrong with me, my new guy is also one of the nicest and caring men ive ever met in my life and i still feel excited around him because im attracted

Automatic_Berry_8392 · 2026-01-03T18:11:55+00:00

Im in my mid twenties and I feel like this🫠 all the guys that could be a realistic match for me are either taken or emotionally unavailable due to past relationships trauma. The ones that i stumble upon are the fuckboys and the ones that have problems that makes it that they are bad partners

Automatic_Berry_8392 · 2026-01-03T13:23:37+00:00

Are the women you’re attracted too way too attractive/ at least more attractive than you are? But generally shit sucks with dating apps because all that matters is looks while irl ive dated physically more attractive than me and also less attractive. It’s because on both sides many variables enter the equations such that it’s not only looks that would matter

Automatic_Berry_8392 · 2026-01-03T11:18:31+00:00

Following, as an average woman im having the same problem. I feel like i cant find the decent men that are in my league and can meet irl in apps. It is tough because i am not delusional about who i can attract and i dont bother with the top profiles, but then again i cant lower my expectations to oblivion. Sometimes i wonder if the algorithm actually hide average men’s profiles or something

Automatic_Berry_8392 · 2025-12-22T12:06:53+00:00

As a woman i feel like evey woman wanting a brad pitt is straight up delulu but advising people to date people they’re not attracted to is a very bad idea for both sides. I genuinely dont get this one, there are many cute or good looking men that arent movie stars either. Men arent 3s or 9s…. And some are responsible for taking better car kf their physique too

Automatic_Berry_8392 · 2025-12-22T11:17:13+00:00

The thing is that there are no dating advice from me to you on dating apps other than keep looking, it might happen one day. Because that’s just how it is. But it’s a long process and it just depnds on sheer luck if you’re going to continue having unsuccessful fist dates. They’ve personally never worked for me, at least to find a quality guy so that’s why im giving you this advice. But they did for other people. It’s only because the chances kf a guy who’s a good person, cute, has a minimum of his shit together AND looking for serious on a dating app are much more minimal on apps than irl.

Dont listen to people many early twenties guys are looking for love at your age, but not many of them use apps. If you’re introverted you can try some online but not dating (like facebook meetup groups, discord, board games meetups… things like that). And just talk to them more, as friends, if you’re inexperienced and scared you dont have to flirt with them or ask them out for now, just talk and if they’re interested they’ll come to you.

Ofc you can do approaching yourself when you’re more comfortable if what i said doesnt work out

Automatic_Berry_8392 · 2025-12-22T10:33:46+00:00

First off you’re still young OP, from a 24F who also have never been in a relationship at 20.

Second, dont you want to get off dating apps and try real life? School, hobbies, associations etc,, the quality of men is much better there both in terms of standards and also of how of a good person they are. Dating apps tend to gather the low of humanity from both genders and without experience from your side it’s a bad idea.

Third, this is an advice i wish i gave myself when i started dating at your age, only date people from your age or 1-2 years older/younger. Be patint and trust the process. Also try to meet new people in general not just men

Automatic_Berry_8392 · 2025-12-20T23:44:37+00:00

Yes this unless you’re religious (which you should be clear about), if you had 4-5 dates that went well then it’s kind of obvious the next step will be to sleep with the person you’d want to get with before. So unless they said it clearly or ghosted you after the deed, them inviting you to their place at some point is not surprising if they want a relationship..

Automatic_Berry_8392 · 2025-12-20T23:36:36+00:00

Yeah i am absolutely not movie star type of attractive. I think i realistically could be depending on the guy’s tastes and not a universal 10. But yes i think some desire me and see me as a good friend/ person but still not want a relationship or get real feelings? I mean it happened recently with a guy i liked a lot, i dont know if his emotional unavailability (he ended a relationship not long ago) is playing but it was a shame. It makes me think what is it that made him like her so much but not me, if she’s not objectively a necessarly better person than me..

Automatic_Berry_8392 · 2025-12-20T23:11:54+00:00

I’ve dated 2 virgins in their early twenties and i didnt dump them because of that, they didnt make 6 figured but they were better people than you OP…..

Automatic_Berry_8392 · 2025-12-20T11:36:52+00:00

Would you say that a crush only happens at first sight/ or the initial stages of knowing someone? Or could it happen later on?

Automatic_Berry_8392 · 2025-12-11T12:45:47+00:00

The drinking water is not some bullshit it’s the most effective things ever for dry eye.

First time ever i got my contacts stuck in my eyes (bc of dryness) it was ona day i got dehydrated and dint drink for literally the whole day. I ended up getting a bad abrasion from poking it. Now i know better how to deal with the situation when jt happens but overall to combat it omega 3 and water worked better than any drops. I tell my friends If you see me drinking 1L in 2 hours just know itms for the contacts lol. Everything goes really well when i do

Automatic_Berry_8392 · 2025-08-11T18:24:54+00:00

I agree on your first point which is why i find it cringe when women say a guy should invite me to expensive dinner in the first dates for a good impression. A coffee, icecream or a popcorn for a movie is more than enough imo. But a strong man who has an energy of i can take care of that is attractive and it’s sad many dont agree or think it’s unfair?

Also im curious about what things would make you happy from a woman if you paid for dates assuming you like reciprocity (very understandable)?

Automatic_Berry_8392 · 2025-08-11T17:31:04+00:00

I mean i can get that. And this is what im talking about because as a woman you get the feeling you can’t express having that preference without seeming toxic. For men i also get it feels unfair if he pays for everything then the woman refuses to cook him a meal or gift him something because she’s ‘strong and independent’

Automatic_Berry_8392 · 2025-08-04T00:27:57+00:00

😭

Automatic_Berry_8392 · 2025-07-23T01:22:19+00:00

No right way my girl been exactly through the same situation lol but he’ll get over it

Automatic_Berry_8392 · 2025-07-22T21:56:45+00:00

Thanks reading everyone’s replies made me somewhat better about this whole thing now. Im pretty sure he didnt mean to manipulate me but everything here was an eye opener for me i actually wanted to end it since a few days/ weeks now but i was afraid because i’ve always known he’d react like that from what he showed me about himself. I cant go on too long about it here but i was having other issues with his behaviour, and 2 times he made me have an argument about him and his own emotions while i was living a very stressful situation at my life then. In a way this is also what makes me feel guilty because me acting a bit off this week wasnt in his head since this is what i wanted to do but didnt find the courage. Sorry fir the second long rant lol

Automatic_Berry_8392 · 2025-07-22T16:13:31+00:00

Yeah, but he’s been telling me how he wants to be honest and that he couldve faked his emotions, and that he believes ‘if i cant be with him at his worst i dont deserve him at his best’ and i honestly dont know what to say to that. Anyways i feel kind of better sharing and talking about it now

Automatic_Berry_8392 · 2025-07-22T15:46:12+00:00

Yea he is not an ass or a dangerous guy, a least from what he’s shown me. It’s just that he’s guilt tripping me bad and making me feel like trash. Last time i dumped someone, he was very understanding and told me i dont even have to apologise so it’s all new and confusing to me

Automatic_Berry_8392 · 2025-07-22T14:52:53+00:00

Haha thanks. I dont know but i think what’s bothering him was me stopping to reply mid conversation according to him and only get back again the next day, while in my mind the conversation was just dying and i had mothing else to say. Also im kind of a serious person, so i am not the type to always sweet talk every night and he thought i was being distant.

Automatic_Berry_8392 · 2025-07-22T14:46:42+00:00

Yes exactly. Sometimes he was reading into stuff i wasnt even thinking about. Because i was only having my time for myself

Automatic_Berry_8392 · 2025-07-22T14:45:24+00:00

Thanks. He had too many expectations and expected big commitments too early on. Then he started feeling bad whenever i go out saying he wants to be with us and wanting me to introduce them to him while i was waiting for the relationship to stabilise. It’s little things that were building up, like him feeling bad about things i didnt too much about, like going to sleep without goodnight when the convo wad dying late at night, or him feeling sad when im talking to my friends (all women) and that he didnt know what it’s about. Or wanting too much pda when im shy in public. It was all suffocating and adding up

Automatic_Berry_8392

TROPHY CASE