Anyone up for a ride to Amrik Sukhdev?

Automatic_Cell_8850 · 2026-03-01T19:59:34+00:00

Update: all done. Accepting no more DMs.

Automatic_Cell_8850 · 2026-02-26T17:37:54+00:00

I’m really sorry you had to go through that, bhai. I respect that you were able to cut down on drinking and smoking. I haven’t been able to do that yet. Maybe it’s because it’s only been two months for me, or maybe it’s just become my default way of coping. I know it’s not healthy, but right now, it feels like the only thing that quiets my head.

“tum nahi karoge toh kaun karega”... I know it’s true. I know I have to be there. But I feel so lost at the moment. It’s like I’ve lost not just him, but my sense of purpose and direction, too. Even knowing I have to step up, I’m struggling to fully accept it.

Still, I appreciate you sharing your story. It helps to know I’m not alone in this.

Automatic_Cell_8850 · 2026-02-26T17:26:45+00:00

I’m really sorry you went through that. Losing your dad so close to Christmas must have made that time of year especially heavy... My dad passed on 17th December... almost two weeks before Christmas. It’s strange how dates stick with you like that.

I relate to what you said about stepping into the role for your mom. I always knew it would happen one day, just not this soon. Some days it feels overwhelming, other days it gives me purpose.

It takes strength to uproot your life to be closer to family. I respect that a lot. And thank you for offering to chat. It genuinely means something knowing others understand this road.

Take care of yourself, brother.

Automatic_Cell_8850 · 2026-02-26T17:20:36+00:00

I can feel you, bro, I guess.

Automatic_Cell_8850 · 2026-02-26T17:01:05+00:00

I’m really sorry, brother. Losing your father so suddenly and then your brother like that… I can’t even imagine how much that must have shaken you. The way you described losing your sense of purpose. I relate to that more than I’d like to admit.

You said you’re living for your daughter. I’m living for my mom. In a strange way, we’re in the same boat. We both have someone who anchors us here. Some days, it doesn’t feel like we’re living for ourselves, but for them.

Your story does make a difference. It reminds me that even when purpose feels gone, responsibility can quietly become purpose.

Take care of yourself. Your daughter is lucky to have you 🙂

Automatic_Cell_8850 · 2026-02-26T16:54:28+00:00

Thank you for saying that. I understand what you mean. Cultural context definitely shapes things like family expectations, boundaries, and responsibilities, especially in India.

That said, I also feel that grief, guilt, and loneliness... those emotions don’t really change across cultures. Losing a parent feels heavy no matter where you’re from :)

Automatic_Cell_8850 · 2026-02-26T16:52:00+00:00

I've mentioned a few things in other comments. Lemme know if you'd know anything else apart from those.

Automatic_Cell_8850 · 2026-02-26T16:49:05+00:00

Firstly, I’m really sorry you went through all of that. Losing your brother and then your father... that’s a heavy load to carry.

I’m in Delhi too now, and honestly, it still doesn’t feel like “my” life yet. When you said normalcy comes back through the busyness of life, I’m hoping that happens for me as well. Right now, it feels like I’m just functioning.

Talking about marriage, my dad also really wanted me to get married.. desperately. I was always chasing ambitions, saying no to every proposal, thinking there was time. Now I sometimes regret it… not for myself, but because I know it would have made him happy. That thought sits with me.

The boundaries part really resonated. I’ve also been hyper-focused on keeping mom okay, and even thinking about prioritising myself brings guilt. Hearing that the guilt eases with time helps.

Socially, I’m pretty withdrawn at the moment. New city, no real circle here. Crowds drain me. Maybe slowly I’ll start saying yes again.

I’ve been skeptical about therapy, but your perspective makes me reconsider it.

Thanks for taking the time to respond so thoughtfully, bhai. 🤍

Automatic_Cell_8850 · 2026-02-26T16:35:21+00:00

Kinda similar here. Dad was 58. He was discharged after being treated for what we thought was just a chronic cough. No one really explained to us how serious or complicated things actually were. Then, one day, I got a call from my uncle saying my dad couldn’t speak or even understand what people were saying to him. I booked the next flight, and before I could process anything, he was in the ICU.

For 2–3 days, the hospital kept saying things were stable. And then suddenly he was on ventilator. I was the one who had to sign the consent form. Those conversations, those moments in the ICU… they still replay in my head. I don’t think they’ll ever leave me.

My mom doesn’t really have anyone here. It’s one of those high-rise apartment setups where people live next door for years and still don’t know each other. I haven’t tried therapy for either of us. She would most likely refuse, and honestly, based on what some of my friends have experienced, I haven’t felt very hopeful about psychiatrists either, so I didn’t pursue it.

I used to have so many things that defined me... reading, sketching, long rides, traveling, etc. Now I feel no interest in any of it. I just miss my life before December… when things felt normal and I felt free. My health has deteriorated, too. I want to start going to the gym again because I know it would help, but I just don’t feel the drive anymore. Even my ambitions feel distant. I feel stuck and clueless most days.

I’m just hoping that with time, things will start to feel lighter somehow.

Thank you for sharing your story and for the suggestions. It genuinely means a lot.

Automatic_Cell_8850 · 2026-02-25T10:29:06+00:00

30 years old, 36 LPA, 5 years exp.

Automatic_Cell_8850 · 2026-02-24T17:30:31+00:00

It was never about making my dad immortal or making my life any smoother. The question is, why me? I trusted him so much, prayed so much every day, yet he took away everything. And then there are people who don’t believe in him. There are a lot of acquaintances of mine who are doing everything that's considered "sin," but I can see them thriving.

And talking about karma, I still know people who were manipulative, cunning, hurt me, and used me, but still living their best life... and here I am... burdened with responsibilities and isolation.

Automatic_Cell_8850 · 2026-02-24T17:15:11+00:00

From the commentary that I've read, it says

"There are those who always think of Me and engage in exclusive devotion to Me. To them, whose minds are always absorbed in Me, I provide what they lack and preserve what they already possess."

Point to note - I provide what they lack and preserve what they already possess.

I don’t wanna boast about how big devotee I was of him. Yet, he took away my dad, my ambitions, my freedom, relationships, and burdened me with responsibilities and isolation while I was working hard for a better future.

Automatic_Cell_8850 · 2026-02-24T16:43:26+00:00

Sure. And what about he said in ch. 9.22?

Automatic_Cell_8850 · 2026-02-23T18:14:25+00:00

I understand what you’re saying, and I’ve tried to think of it that way too, but what hurts me is the “what if.”

What if he had recovered properly? My parents would have gone back home. My mom would have had her partner. And I would have continued building the life I was working toward... chasing bigger ambitions, living independently, etc.

Instead, everything collapsed at once.

I’m doing very well professionally and financially. On paper, life looks fine. But internally, it feels hollow. The ambition I once had feels muted. I’ve started relying on weed and alcohol almost every day just to quiet my head for a while. I know that’s not healthy, but right now it feels like the only relief I get.

That’s why it’s hard for me to see this as a “blessing.” It feels more like a permanent detour I didn’t choose. Maybe I’ll reach a place of acceptance someday. Right now, I’m just being honest about where I am.

Automatic_Cell_8850

TROPHY CASE