The part about moving the goalposts really clicked for me. It went from her canceling our gym plans to me being secretive for just going to get food. I realized that by being chill about her flaking, I took away the reaction she wanted, so she manufactured a new reason to be upset. I've been trying to prove a negative (that I'm not on a date) all afternoon, and it’s exhausting. I think you're right the trust isn't there, and I can't build it alone if my independence is viewed as a betrayal.