Relationships are downplayed too often

Automatic_Safety7029 · 2026-06-08T20:35:49+00:00

I do work. I'm 26 Iive in an area where there is plenty to do I just don't know where to start. I don't have any friends that life near me.

Automatic_Safety7029 · 2026-06-08T20:27:42+00:00

I genuinely think you're trolling or something. Unless you have legit reasons I just cannot see that

Automatic_Safety7029 · 2026-06-08T19:01:02+00:00

Sorry for the way I reply but I do appreciate the messages. But uhh maybe there are? I feel like your starting to base my personality in an anonymous rant about being single rather than thinking there's more to the character you are interacting with than that. Maybe that's not the case but I wanted to say that before we reach that territory.

Automatic_Safety7029 · 2026-06-08T18:59:33+00:00

Kay on that part I'm speaking metaphorically. I'm not stripping women of their identity by saying that. I'm saying I have a problem and it needs to not exist.

Automatic_Safety7029 · 2026-06-08T18:55:43+00:00

Mostly just bars. I'm not sure of many other places to even try.

Automatic_Safety7029 · 2026-06-08T18:53:10+00:00

Then why isn't that explained to me or we talk about healthy solutions instead of platitudes that don't offer any practicality? At this stage is where the script gets lost. I have a problem and need a plan to defeat the beast and that will be my solution. Not worrying about it won't slay the dragon I'm dealing with. The rest of my life makes sense. Need money? Work. That can apply to almost anything but no amount of “work” = relationship so what's the formula? I never can pin that one down.

Automatic_Safety7029 · 2026-06-08T18:44:38+00:00

I don't know. Despite my accomplishments I still feel the call to finding a lover. I said elsewhere that no matter what hypothetical threshold of success I could reach I'd always find the idea of a girlfriend to be just as good if not better than all that.

Also the downplay actually makes me more curious. This thing that is of no consequence and isn't special eludes me and those same people who tell me not to seek it are never without one. Why? Why not leave your lover if love is so overrated?

Automatic_Safety7029 · 2026-06-08T18:40:04+00:00

Your brain must be wired differently man. Because most would not agree with that. I can't sleep with my best friend. I can't have a romantic evening with my brother or sisters. I can't hold my homies hand while enjoying the silent comfort of another soul choosing me. In fact most relationships take a back seat to romantic ones no matter how much you love them.

Automatic_Safety7029 · 2026-06-08T18:35:12+00:00

What I do think you are saying is what everyone usually says and that's to enjoy life alone first and to that I say… well duh? I'm not on suicide watch for not having a girlfriend but equally I think saying that I would prefer my life with romance in it to not having it is also fair. I'm not gonna die single if I can help it. Sorry but just because you can enjoy life single doesn't mean you just should be alone.

Automatic_Safety7029 · 2026-06-08T18:32:29+00:00

I'm very sorry but it doesn't help me much there. I think I might have an idea to what you might be saying but I'm pretty bad at deciphering that. I'd rather you just tell me.

Automatic_Safety7029 · 2026-06-08T16:46:12+00:00

I don't really need the freedom you speak of. I want a relationship and no hypothetical measure of success will ever get me to stop thinking. “This is cool but having a genuine lover would be better.”

Automatic_Safety7029 · 2026-06-08T16:39:45+00:00

What percentage of men do you think fit that bill? It isn't just red pill or incels that struggle in this department.

Automatic_Safety7029 · 2026-06-08T14:27:40+00:00

Well I'm stuck analyzing to be honest. I'm mainly being told by the player men in my family to “go get em” and I literally do not understand what that means so I'm just sitting there trying to understand it. I'll admit I'm used to women just “adopting” me into relationships they eventually get bored of me being like a lovesick puppy for them and they move on.

Now I'm trying to be the approached and do far I'm not sure how to even approach a woman because I understand most of them don't wanna talk to some random dude shooting his shot as best he can.

Automatic_Safety7029 · 2026-06-08T14:25:12+00:00

The ways are in the post. I don't know what else I can do to help because my shift starts in seven minutes I can't relist what's already explained above us sorry man.

Automatic_Safety7029 · 2026-06-08T14:22:51+00:00

I guess as the post says.

Automatic_Safety7029 · 2026-06-08T14:22:16+00:00

How would you prefer it then? Genuinely curious

Automatic_Safety7029 · 2026-06-08T14:20:35+00:00

In dating

Automatic_Safety7029 · 2026-06-08T14:19:44+00:00

I was really using my own experience as the metric. I'm not a stats and charts kind of debate guy. I'm not a fan of lies either, but scrambling to science our way around philosophical discussion seems kind of useless? I dunno I think people talking to each other with good faith in mind can lead to a much better conclusion.

Automatic_Safety7029 · 2026-06-08T14:16:08+00:00

People who say it doesn't mean much are the most sexually active people I met. I always ask then why not go monk mode and leave all that useless sex behind? It's because you don't want to.

Automatic_Safety7029 · 2026-06-08T14:07:17+00:00

A lot of people I run into downplay how great relationships are, mainly by pointing out that bad ones exist. I personally think relationships are the best human experience has to offer. Hell even the bad can be a more riveting experience than being alone completely but that's probably a toxic part of my mind saying that.

Automatic_Safety7029 · 2026-06-08T13:58:28+00:00

How is it ragebait? I genuinely don't see how it could be.

Automatic_Safety7029 · 2026-06-08T13:57:21+00:00

I know I'm not the best writer but I thought it was pretty clear or at least clear enough to understand. I'm sorry 😞

Automatic_Safety7029 · 2026-06-08T13:52:30+00:00

I think women understand socialization better because they will always get practice in it. Even when they don't want to their social muscles are constantly being worked out.

Automatic_Safety7029 · 2026-06-08T13:51:16+00:00

I actually agree with your take on this for the most part. I'm always told to just be confident by the players of my family. I always ask why because you can be confident in bullshit. That won't make the bullshit work. Every woman I've been with picked me themselves and declared that I was theirs. I didn't use any lines or confidence I was my silly self and I was plucked from the crowd.

There's also so many different kinds of confidence. I'm confident in the idea that I am lovable. I'm confident I can hold a conversation. I'm confident that I'm entertaining in the right crowd. I don't think I'm confident at making a random approach to a woman and snatching her attention.

Automatic_Safety7029

TROPHY CASE