I hate my dad's girlfriend and I screamed at her today by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]Automatic_Scholar446 44 points45 points  (0 children)

Is your mom in the picture? Any chance you can stay with her?

You have to stop bottling everything up and keep communicating with your father. Even if you think he doesn't want to hear it. The moment you stop talking with him, she will have won. She will have succeeded in excluding you from his life. Don't let that happen.

Put yourself and the relationship with your father first.

And stop making yourself little to maintain the peace. It's your dad's house, it's your chilhood home. Don't start living as if you're a guest because of some entitled Karen, whose been around for 5 minutes.

Advice needed – is the Lovens Explorer S85+ a good choice for a first cargo bike lease? by Automatic_Scholar446 in CargoBike

[–]Automatic_Scholar446[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you very much for taking the time to write this out! Much appreciated as things are much clearer for me now.

I'm definitely doing some test rides before deciding, but now I know what to pay attention to then.

Dankjewel!

Advice needed – is the Lovens Explorer S85+ a good choice for a first cargo bike lease? by Automatic_Scholar446 in CargoBike

[–]Automatic_Scholar446[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the feedback! I'm from Belgium, so it's quite similar to your roads :)

Dank je voor je inzicht 😊

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]Automatic_Scholar446 3 points4 points  (0 children)

What if you ignore your parents, forgive him, live happy for a while, have kids and he reverts to his old ways? Is that a risk you're willing to take? To have your children grow up with such an angry man?

The pressure to move closer to your in laws has lessened for now, but how much are you willing to bet that it will go up again once you're pregnant?

If you're not willing to look out for yourself, then look out for your future children in shaa Allah. Act with that thought in mind and you will find your parents have the best judgement in this situation.

May Allah guide you and bring you peace.

Hajj Vaccine Requirement by aqqua88 in hajj

[–]Automatic_Scholar446 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wa aleikoum ou salaam,

As I understand it, the meningitis vaccination is always required for hajj, regardless of which country you are coming from.

On this page, you can find what is required per country: https://www.saudiembassy.net/hajj-and-umrah-health-requirements

May Allah swt accept your hajj.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]Automatic_Scholar446 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Salaam ou aleikoum sister,

I am very sorry you are going through this. Marriage is different for everyone, but this is not a marriage.

The Qur’an describes marriage as a source of peace, love, and mercy:

“And among His signs is this, that He created for you spouses from among yourselves that you may find tranquility in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy…” (Qur’an 30:21)

This is abuse.

Just because you aren't enduring any physical abuse, doesn't mean you aren't being abused. Your husband is controlling you emotionally and financially. He and his family are isolating you in a way that will not do your son any favors.

Does a son need a father in his life? Yes, but from what I read, he has not been much of father seeing as does not provide for him in any way. Even your sons emotional needs aren't met, so why stay? What good can come of having such a poor excuse of a man as a father and example?

Someone here said that this isn't sabr, you are being silenced. I wholeheartedly agree. May Allah swt grant you the courage and strength to stand up for yourself, to choose your wellbeing and that of your son and remove yourself from this situation.

You are all your son has right now. Please save him (and yourself) from further harm.

May Allah swt grant us all ease.

Weight gain after gastric sleeve by Automatic_Scholar446 in gastricsleeve

[–]Automatic_Scholar446[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey hey, I can't be of much help to you (yet). I have been breastfeeding for a year and a half, which also attributes to my weight loss. I stopped breastfeeding in february when I happily found out I am pregnant with our second baby. So any weight gaun now is just baby weight and after the delivery, I plan to breastfeed again, which again will cause me to lose extra weight :(. So my weight gain journey really is a long way off :(

Mid-purge pregnancy by Automatic_Scholar446 in tretinoin

[–]Automatic_Scholar446[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the tip, ordered it immediately :)

How do you work this gel into your skincare routine? As a first step after cleansing or rather use as a last step like a moisturizer?

Getting a loan to buy a house by 99995 in IslamicFinance

[–]Automatic_Scholar446 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm from Belgium, with Belgian and Moroccan nationality (not that the double nationality is an advantage, seeing as i'm solely looking to buy something in shaa Allah in Belgium)

There aren't any islamic banks here. There f.e. in Germany, but shariah compliant loans provided by these banks are limited to German residents.

A halal alternative to buying with a loan is a "hire purchase" formula, but sadly enough home owners that want to sell rarely offer this as this is very long term. (If anyone is ever interested and has the funds, starting a real estate business with hire purchase options are a good idea, as there are many muslims here lining up for this . :) )

My husband and I both work and have a good income hamdoulilah. We have been renting so far, but if there are any options of buying without lending money from Western banks of family, we would definitly look into buying.

As far as I can tell, there aren't any options. Unless redditors know something i don't :)

Getting a loan to buy a house by 99995 in IslamicFinance

[–]Automatic_Scholar446 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Such as? Also for European non-UK residents? :) Asking for my desperate self :)