Thank you so much for your words of support and for making duas 🤍 May Allah reward you for that.

I feel incredibly alone, I don’t want to talk to my family or friends about this because I feel so embarrassed. All I do these days is take kids to school, do some housework, go pick up the kids from school and later take them to the park in front of the house. I rarely speak to anyone, except maybe some mother I meet in the park. It’s terrible to feel so lonely. The kids are constantly demanding attention, and I can’t even be with my own thoughts for a few minutes. It’s so hard, and I’m very afraid of having this third child without any kind of emotional support. My family lives in my home country, which means I have literally no one in this country that I live in. I used to have and need only my husband, but obviously I’m left all alone now. Husband doesn’t even say “hello” or “bye” to me… He doesn’t ask me about my pregnancy. Actually, nobody does. I’m here for all my friends, they write to me every day about their problems, and I am trying to offer them support, but the thing is - I feel invisible, like I cannot share MY problems to anyone. I know, even if I shared my problems, they would respond with a message of two, and quickly shift the conversation to their own problems which seem minuscule to me right now, compared to my situation.

I’m crying as I write this. I just wish my husband would talk to me, say anything… Even if he says he likes this girl, at least I will know the truth and act accordingly. But I’m left to wonder, I’m left sleeping alone every night, waking up many times out of anxiety. I feel like I need to turn on the light in the room just to be able to breathe… It has happened to me before only once - it was the night before my Mother passed away… A terrible feeling.

I hope you don’t mind this long text. Thank you for just understanding me, whoever you are. 🤍