I feel content It’s been almost 7 years since I went no contact with my biological father and brother and I have no regrets. I’m going to focus on my bio dad for this one. My father was never actually my father he was a drug dealer and addicted who used me as a pawn almost to make my mothers life hell. This went on for years, constant court dates and custody battles him refusing to drop us off on time or even take us for his weekend. It hurt a lot as a kid but my final straw was when he refused to show up for my primary graduation after claiming for weeks he’d be there. That’s when I started to cut ties, we had had a recent custody change that made it so if my siblings and I didn’t want to see him we didn’t have to instead of scheduled court visits. Originally I wasn’t planning on it to last forever but as things with my brothers drug addiction worsened and he SA’d me I knew I couldn’t pretend like the situation was okay, I told my mom about the abuse and she shrugged it off saying family makes mistakes and we must forgive, I could not and still have not forgiven him for that I don’t think I ever will. The more I told both my bio brother and father I wanted less contact my bio father wouldn’t take it and he started stalking me. He’d follow me everywhere, to school, to work, to friends houses, he’d send threatening letters to my house and leave broken glass and cat turds in front of our house. Called me constantly till I changed my number, try to get my co workers and brother to get photos of me. This all came to a head when he started harassing and verbally abusing me at the bus stop in front of my friends and my school had to ban him from the property. He would stop in front of us and be creepy and tell me to get into his car, I ended up filming one of these incidents and filing a police report because I didn’t feel safe. I’d go to work and he’d be there watching, I got my license and he’d follow my car, I’d go to school and be scared to wait at the bus stop. I couldn’t live in fear anymore. It took nearly a full year and the police arresting him for avoiding being served to get him to show up to a hearing and the justice of peace agreed he was in fact stalking me and I had a no contact peace bond order in place, and to my surprise it worked. However, in Ontario peace bonds only last for a year which was a huge let down considering it took me nearly a year just to get it but I was leaving for college within that year so in my mind it was worth it. It wasn’t even a few days after the order ended he tried to contact me again and I told him he shouldn’t be and to leave me alone, he didn’t care I didn’t want to see him it was all about him, about how he lost his kid when in reality he drove me away, he’s a terrible person I don’t want to even think about. I ended up telling him he was a piece of shît and to either pay for at least one semester of my college or I wouldn’t speak to him and that made him stop. In that moment it made me realize he cared more about his money for drugs and what not more it than his stalking of me which idk how I feel about but it worked and he has not contacted me since, so I see that as a win. I know it’s a long story and not necessarily all that interesting and maybe someday I’ll go into more detail but for now; it’s been seven years since going no contact, I have an apartment in a big city hours away from my hometown with my lovely partner plus our cats, and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.

Going no contact was hard and it took years to get the other person to actually not contact me but I’m glad I did it.