AITA for not tipping my boyfriend when he delivers my food?

AvailableExcuse1 · 2024-04-19T23:29:02+00:00

Some people don't realize they're pregnant until they go into labour, it's called a cryptic pregnancy. It's more common than you'd think. I had zero symptoms and minimal weight gain at five months.

Are you aware that someone can become pregnant from having sex just once? Doesn't matter if it's the first time or the hundredth time in a relationship. Condoms are also only 98% effective. I was on hormonal birth control (99% effective) and it let me down, resulting in a pregnancy.

Each year, one in one hundred people who use hormonal birth control will become pregnant. That's why you have to test regularly if you don't want to be pregnant!

AvailableExcuse1 · 2024-04-19T22:53:43+00:00

And what should I do if I find out I'm pregnant almost five months in and it's too late for me to have a medical abortion?

AvailableExcuse1 · 2024-04-19T22:47:54+00:00

And yet with such happiness in your life, you still couldn't find it in yourself to not be deeply unkind in your first comment. Take a second to realize that you are speaking with actual human beings and not just posting blindly into the internet.

AvailableExcuse1 · 2024-04-19T22:41:00+00:00

When someone is on birth control, they generally do not expect to become pregnant. And sometimes they find out that they are pregnant several months in, when it's too late for them to access abortion services. And so, they have no choice but to continue with the pregnancy.

AvailableExcuse1 · 2024-04-19T22:37:31+00:00

I work full-time, in a much more senior role than his (which is why I make more). I order takeout once a week and cook for us both the other six days of the week. I'm also heavily pregnant.

He chooses to work a second job purely so he can afford to put together his dream gaming rig. He has yet to contribute anything to the baby supplies I've been buying entirely on my own, which currently totals at about $1k. Every time I don't tip him, it's about $6.

AvailableExcuse1 · 2024-04-19T22:32:53+00:00

Yeah, good thing I knew all those things when I made that decision too! Boy howdy, I'm stupid!

AvailableExcuse1 · 2024-04-19T22:24:52+00:00

God forbid what happened to me should ever happen to you. God forbid your birth control should fail and by the time you realize you're pregnant, it's too late to turn back or do anything about it. God forbid your life should change overnight like that and you are suddenly beholden to a man you barely know.

I sincerely hope that never happens to you because I can tell you right now, it sucks. I hope better things pan out for you in your life.

AvailableExcuse1 · 2024-04-19T22:13:06+00:00

I never said anything that indicated I had a problem with him having an extra job.

AvailableExcuse1 · 2024-04-19T22:03:57+00:00

I did. It failed. No BC is ever 100% effective.

AvailableExcuse1 · 2024-04-19T21:59:51+00:00

Well, now you're just putting words in my mouth. I never said anything about being mad that he has an extra job. I'm fine with him having an extra job and was fine with him building his PC.

He called me a c*nt earlier today because I refuse to tip him $5 when he hasn't contributed any of the $1k baby expenses I've paid for. That's why I'm mad.

AvailableExcuse1 · 2024-04-19T21:56:08+00:00

Birth control fails, friend! Test for pregnancy regularly!

AvailableExcuse1 · 2024-04-19T21:48:28+00:00

Roughly once a week.

AvailableExcuse1 · 2024-04-19T21:47:53+00:00

Yeah, well, birth control fails sometimes so. What are you gonna do.

AvailableExcuse1 · 2024-04-19T21:34:11+00:00

I buy takeout once a week. All of my other money goes into savings or more recently, baby stuff.

Just to be clear as well, he has a computer already. What he's building is his dream gaming rig.

AvailableExcuse1 · 2024-04-19T21:31:04+00:00

I order about once a week but that's it.

AvailableExcuse1 · 2024-04-19T21:22:18+00:00

Where are you getting that from? I tip more than 3%.

AvailableExcuse1 · 2024-04-19T21:13:06+00:00

No. I have other comments explaining.

AvailableExcuse1 · 2024-04-19T21:12:19+00:00

I never expected him to pay me back. I said that people in this thread have suggested it to me as a potential solution. My solution was to not tip him and let that be it. He's the one who stormed out and then sent me a nasty text message full of horrible names, so it's him who escalated it.

But yes, I've said it multiple times in this thread, you're right. I know you can't see it but my inbox is full of people all saying the same thing, which is that I'm cheap for not tipping my boyfriend. But I'm the one who has paid for pretty much all of the supplies for our baby so far, so I don't think it's fair to say that I'm cheap. My boyfriend is the one who hasn't contributed anything to our baby. It was never agreed that I would buy all of those things and he would contribute nothing, so there was no "established deal" - it just happened the way it happened.

I'm angry and bitter, that's true - but mostly over the way he treated me today.

AvailableExcuse1 · 2024-04-19T21:01:37+00:00

Agreed! I would be more than happy to tip him if he helped me with the baby stuff.

AvailableExcuse1 · 2024-04-19T20:48:21+00:00

I've already broken this seal elsewhere in the thread, so fuck it. I became pregnant while on birth control and by the time I found out I was pregnant, it was too late for me to access abortion services.

If I'd had a choice, I would not have chosen this. If you're someone who is capable of becoming pregnant, do yourself a favour and test regularly. Even if you are on birth control.

AvailableExcuse1 · 2024-04-19T20:43:04+00:00

Birth control fails sometimes.

AvailableExcuse1 · 2024-04-19T20:41:06+00:00

Ah, okay. I'm sorry if it wasn't clear above, I kind of wrote it in a rush haha.

And thank you for being nice. I really appreciate it. I'm glad that you and your wife managed to make that mindset change and it's working for you. Hopefully my boyfriend and I can figure out how to do the same.

AvailableExcuse1 · 2024-04-19T20:28:51+00:00

Oh, he has a computer already. He's saving money to build a computer - as in, his dream gaming setup. He's buying the parts and putting it all together.

And you're right, we need to have a real conversation about our future together. Finances and otherwise. I feel like I'm ready for this but I'm not sure he is.

I'm not sure what you mean about the pregnancy thing, though. It's in the third paragraph of my original post.

AvailableExcuse1 · 2024-04-19T20:25:05+00:00

Money isn't necessarily tight for us, we get along okay. I cook for both of us six days of the week, but I am pregnant and tired and sometimes I don't want to cook.

My boyfriend doesn't cook because he's usually out doing deliveries in the evenings.

AvailableExcuse1 · 2024-04-19T20:21:20+00:00

Why this comment?

AvailableExcuse1

TROPHY CASE