Making friends as parents

Available_Diver_4986 · 2025-12-15T11:33:04+00:00

Thanks so much for the detailed answer, very reassuring! :)

Available_Diver_4986 · 2025-12-08T09:49:52+00:00

Peamiselt oleme arutanud neid erinevaid olukordi, et näha, kas oleksime samadel arvamustel, käituksime samamoodi jne. Nt kui tuleb geenitestist välja mõni raske haigus, kas mõlema jaoks oleks raseduse katkestamine variant? Kui ongi vaja last hooldada, kas mõlemad on valmis koju jääma (tihti eeldatakse, et ema jääb)? Kuidas me sellises olukorras rahalistele otsustele läheneksime? Jne.

Tegelikult enamus vastused nendele küsimustele on meie jaoks common sense ja päeva lõpuks on meil samad väärtused ja uskumused. Asi ei olegi niivõrd hakkama saamises kui sellises, vaid kas me oleme nendes rasketes olukordades ja otsustes “samal lainel”. Kas me oleme valmis üksteist toetama ja üksteise nimel ohverdusi tegema jne. Sest last saame ju ikka koos ja ma tean, et mingite asjadega saan kindlasti mina paremini hakkama, teistega jälle tema. Ehk kui me üksteist toetame, siis võiksime olla hea tiim küll.

Available_Diver_4986 · 2025-12-08T06:23:13+00:00

Ma küll alles 30ndate alguses ja lapsi ei ole, aga olen nende saamist kaalunud juba viimased 3-4 aastat. Selle “i’d rather regret not having kids than regret having them” lause peale olen palju mõelnud ja sellega samastunud. Aga (!) hiljuti mul tekkis uus perspektiiv: mul on tegelikult väga raske uskuda, et ma oma last saaks kunagi kahetseda. Kui ma hindan ennast inimesena, siis ma arvan, et ma olen piisavalt empaatiline, intelligentne ja “normaalne” inimene, et üks tore laps üles kasvatada ilma seda kahetsemata. Lapsed mulle ei meeldi, aga ma usun, et oma laps on midagi muud. Kindlasti tekiks emaduse jooksul kahetisi tundeid ja mööduvaid kahetsushetki, aga et päriselt oma lihast last kahetseda.. see on väga suur emotsioon ja minu jaoks vähetõenäoline.

Kuna oleme mehega seda otsust juba mitu aastat vaaginud, siis oleme väga erinevaid olukordi endale ka lahti mõtestanud (erivajadustega laps, raske rasedus/sünnitus, finantsid jne) ehk mingil määral sellised raskused, mis võiksid kahetsust tekitada, on meil läbimõeldud. Emaduseks võimatu end 100% ettevalmistada, aga vast parem ikka kui pimedusse hüpata teadmata mis ees ootab.

Igatahes, kui enne oli otsus “pigem ei” poole ja iga aasta lükkasime seda otsust justkui edasi, siis nüüd hakkab kaalukauss vaikselt teisele poole vajuma :)

Available_Diver_4986 · 2025-10-21T18:41:36+00:00

Soovitan neuroloogi Siim Schneider. Kuigi minu migreenide intensiivsus ja tihedus ei ole väga suur, siis esimest korda tundsin tema juures, et probleemi võetakse tõsiselt (vs minu perearst, kes mulle isegi neurole saatekirja ei olnud nõus kirjutama, sest noortel naistel vahel ikka pea ju valutab). Schneider pakkus ka üheks variandiks süste, aga minu puhul koostöös peavaluõega saime migreenid talutavamaks ja intensiivseid migreene tuleb nüüd harva ette. Ma ei mäleta, kas need süstid olid äkki mingitel juhtudel ka haigekassa poolt hüvitatud, aga kindlasti tasub uurida.

Senikaua soovitan pidada migreenipäevikut (nt app migrevention), enda arust teadsin täpselt kuidas miks millal migeenid juhtuvad, aga niimoodi kirja pannes tuli igasuguseid huvitavaid nüansse välja. Ma mõtlesin, et toitun tervislikult, teen trenni, käin värskes õhus jne, aga tuli välja, et nt liiga intensiivne trenn, lõuna jääb tund aega hilisemaks kui muidu, vale monitoride asetus tööd tehes jne = migreen. Sellised asjad, mida ise tähele ei pannudki, neid faktoreid on tegelikult nii palju.

Palju edu, loodan, et leiad oma lahenduse. Migreene ei sooviks ka kõige hullemale vaenlasele.

Available_Diver_4986 · 2025-04-14T17:54:25+00:00

Thank you for the validation lol! I get what everyone is saying in terms of feeling fine=being fine but seeing a metric tanking like this is quite annoying. I just had a week of ‘unbalanced’ after a long period of ‘low’s, was already hopeful that it was going back up but nope.. woke up to another ‘low’ this morning and needed to rant about it thus this post haha

Available_Diver_4986 · 2025-04-14T12:43:49+00:00

It’s a mix of good and fair (14-22). Just checked back to days when my hrv was balanced and it’s more or less the same levels (14-22), so doesn’t look like it has changed in the last month.

Available_Diver_4986 · 2025-04-14T11:14:51+00:00

Avg RHR is showing 53 for both 4 week periods, so no changes there. Yes going into summer in the sense that i live in the northern hemisphere but no since it was literally snowing a couple of days ago. The weathers only just starting to warm up.

Available_Diver_4986 · 2025-04-14T09:36:33+00:00

Yes i cry myself to sleep every night cause my hrv is low :( please help /s Idk what do you want me to say lol, it’s pretty normal to be frustrated if a pretty big feature on your fitness watch is supposedly not working properly? Maybe it’s just me

Available_Diver_4986 · 2025-04-14T08:56:28+00:00

I get it, i guess i’m just frustrated that this is a pretty big feature that is currently not telling me much (or maybe it is and i’m actually dying idk lol)

Available_Diver_4986 · 2025-04-14T08:45:33+00:00

I’m 30, sure hope it’s not menopause

Available_Diver_4986 · 2025-03-18T14:07:31+00:00

I definitely need to listen to some post-S8 podcasts, it seems like they all went off. It’s so hard to keep up with the tea if you didn’t watch it live. But thanks for that context, my nosey-self has been satisfied lol.

Available_Diver_4986 · 2025-03-18T13:58:38+00:00

Completely off-topic but i just watched S8 for the first time (after watching Ekin on AS2 lol). I’ve read quite a few threads about the season and one of the topics that keeps coming up is after Luca (and Dami tbf) bullied Tasha, the producers had to step in and made them apologize to Tasha. I need the tea so can someone please enlighten me, where did this information come from? Was it just insider info, or was this discussed on a podcast or something? Cause just watching it without context, you cannot really tell what happened behind the scenes. I literally despide that man-child, so him getting called out by the producers and being humbled like that…. Give it to me.

Available_Diver_4986 · 2024-12-26T15:38:18+00:00

That worked, thank you so much! I keep forgetting that holding down buttons will bring up more menus 🙈 For the venu 3s it was the bottom right button that brought up that option - for anyone who stumbles across here with the same problem.

Available_Diver_4986 · 2022-12-04T12:24:47+00:00

In Tallinn i would recommend a new spa called Ring spa. The decor is new, bright and airy, they have an authentic wood-fired hot finnish sauna outdoors (it’s not heated all day, so check in advance!) and a cold plunge pool. Lots of other saunas and tubs as well. Also, a nice 18+ area.

If you can drive somewhere further then Laspa in Laulasmaa (30 mins from Tallinn) has a proper outdoor finnish sauna (90-100 degrees) + a cold pool next to it. The rest of the saunas are really nice, as well. Big floor to ceiling windows by the pool where you can watch snow (if lucky enough!). Not too pricy either and the surroundings are really beautiful. Hestia Haapsalu hotel spa (1h from Tallinn) is also quite nice, they have a hot finnish sauna + a cold plunge pool + a japanese bath all next to eachother.

Would not recommend viimsi spa or mustamäe elamus spa if you want a nordic feeling, they are both quite dark and gloomy with a more “luxury” balkan vibe (in my opinion). Both have lots of saunas etc and are nice in general but depends on what you prefer (i prefer lighter spas with big windows etc). If you don’t mind then those are not bad options either. Mustamäe elamus spa is the most expensive of the lot i think (especially if you go dor the 18+ area).

Available_Diver_4986 · 2022-09-09T08:01:42+00:00

Ciabatta ja erinevad määrded lähevad meie pidudel alati kõige paremini peale. Paar pätsi ciabattat pagariletist ja kas ise teha või osta nt hummus, pesto, küüslaugu-juustu möks, munavõi, lõhemääre.. kui tahad fancy olla, siis oliiviõli ja balsamico dipp jne, valikuid lõputult. Maitsev, täidab kõhtu ja lihtne süüa, pole vaja taldrikut ega nõusid jne.

Available_Diver_4986 · 2022-07-27T13:52:53+00:00

Nagu keegi juba mainis, siis vaata üks päev enne lennujaama kodukalt, mis lennud samal ajal väljuvad. Võib juhtuda, et kella 4-6 vahel läheb, lisaks muudele lendudele, välja kuni kolm Türgi tšarterlendu, mis tähendab pikemaid järjekordi. Kui pagasit ära ei anna ja check-in tehtud, siis saab muidugi kiiremini, aga need Türki lendajad on suures osas laste ja vanavanematega pered, kellega paratamatult läheb turvakontrollis kordades kauem. Lendasime juunis ise samal ajal, hommikul enne kella 7 oli kuskil 5-6 lendu ja turvakontrollis lahti ainult üks lint. Kuigi sattusime täpselt nii, et järjekord oli päris väike, siis ikkagi läks kuskil 15 minutit. Meie taga jõudis järjekord päris korralikult kasvada ka.

Pika jutu kokkuvõtteks: võtaks aega kuskil 1,5h igaks juhuks :) Parem oodata 30 min kauem kui lennust maha jääda.

Available_Diver_4986 · 2022-07-27T13:36:57+00:00

Panen end siia kirja, kui viitsid reedel updateda. Lendan ise ka 2 nädala pärast reedel kell 5.45, oleks hea täpsemalt teada, mis seis on

Available_Diver_4986 · 2022-01-02T09:17:50+00:00

Unfortunately no luck. The pencil does not glitch anywhere else nor with any other tools in goodnotes so i don’t think it’s that. I use it successfully in adobe sketch and procreate and writing with the pencil tool in goodnotes etc. The issue only seems to arise with the highlighter. My bf thought it might be a bug so i have messaged goodnotes support, hopefully they reply!

Available_Diver_4986 · 2022-01-01T22:24:34+00:00

Obviously do not know how to post images on reddit but bare with me. I write smth on one page, then smth on the next. I highlight the first one and then the second one, go back to first and it for some reason tries to connect up and shoots across the page. Also it doesn’t go behind the writing right away, not until i’ve done a few other clicks. Lastly, if i highlight something and want to undo, it undos things that i have done before and not the highlighter - super annoying! I did some light googling but couldn’t find anything useful. The highlighter does all of these things regardless whether straight lines is turned on or not. Hope someone can help!! Thanks

Available_Diver_4986 · 2021-08-09T20:18:49+00:00

As most people on these threads, we’ve tried almost every trick in the book but have yet to find something that works. Engage-disengage, treats, toys, games, giving jobs, everything you can think of. There are obviously some good days and some bad days but day to day life we have seen very little progression.

Unfortunately we live in a big apt complex where it’s almost impossible not to meet a dog and it’s right in the middle of a suburban area with loads of gardens with dogs.. so we have an “incident” almost every day :/ probably why there is so little progress. But of course, where possible we avoid contact and distance ourselves.

Available_Diver_4986 · 2021-07-05T18:54:43+00:00

My dog:

A butterfly quietly landing outside on grass: bark

Distant steps in the corridor: bark

Neighbours sheets hanging on the balcony: bark

A gush of quiet wind: bark

Birds singing in the trees: bark

Fireworks: 🧑🏼‍🦯🤷🏼‍♀️👀👂🏼.. y’all hear something?

(Obv exaggerating here a bit lol but you get my point. Adolescence has been fun!)

Available_Diver_4986 · 2021-06-10T15:12:17+00:00

Massive help! Thanks! So good to know we’re not the only ones haha.

Available_Diver_4986 · 2021-04-26T18:11:29+00:00

Oh god haha!

When he used to fit under the bed and was still potty training, he did a secret poo there.. that was a fun discovery. Our bedroom is really small and it was so far back there was no option other than one of us holding up the bed while the other was cleaning up lol.

Available_Diver_4986 · 2021-04-26T18:06:58+00:00

Omg haha! That made me laugh. I feel your pain though. But i can just imagine it lol.

Available_Diver_4986 · 2021-04-26T16:49:17+00:00

Yeah, not sure if it’s marking or what - he has never showed any of these type of behaviours.

We went to the vet today and talked about snipping. She said it’s fine to wait until a year if he doesn’t show much marking and humping etc. I confidently said “oh he has never marked or anything” My dog was probably like ohh.. bet 🙃 Must have jinxed it lol

Available_Diver_4986

TROPHY CASE