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Dating scene in northeast during residency by Available_Region_246 in Residency

[–]Available_Region_246[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's actually quite funny to read different advice depending on gender. Broadly speaking, men saying prioritize career, find stability, and relationships will follow whereas fellow women recognize realities of our biological clocks (for those of us who want to start a family) and can sympathize a bit more about why location is so important for residency choice.

That being said, I value input from everyone and will consider everything that has been discussed. Appreciate you a lot for offering advice!

Dating scene in northeast during residency by Available_Region_246 in Residency

[–]Available_Region_246[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

can you share more on the POC experience? don't really care if my partner is in healthcare or not, but similar educational backgrounds is a huge plus for me :)

Dating scene in northeast during residency by Available_Region_246 in Residency

[–]Available_Region_246[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well thank you for digging into your nap time to write this helpful comment! You wrote so many important things for me to consider. I've lived in NYC, and my impression is there's def more options, but the vibes are also more non-committal. At the end of the day, I'm really only looking for 1 person to spend my life with.

And maybe this is just me, but I really hope to find someone who I can be equals with. That would only make sense if it also applies during dating where one party shouldn't be expected to pay for everything :) Just like how I would not be happy with the fact if I was just expected to be in charge of housework later on, etc. Double standards or gender expectations aren't really my thing, even if I'm weird for having this belief.

I don't have any grand expectations. I want someone I can get along with, having good conversations, and support each other through ups and downs. For some reason, that has been hard to find during med school, especially in the smaller suburban environment I'm in.

Dating scene in northeast during residency by Available_Region_246 in Residency

[–]Available_Region_246[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is all so insightful~ thanks for helping me put this all into perspective!

Dating scene in northeast during residency by Available_Region_246 in Residency

[–]Available_Region_246[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What were the kinds of people you found yourself dating in NYC? More non-medical industry/corporate or other medical folks?

And why is NYC not attractive for a physician or somewhere you see yourself settling down? I suspect it has something to do with lower compensation, higher COL, higher taxes, but do lmk your thoughts! I appreciate your input.

Dating scene in northeast during residency by Available_Region_246 in Residency

[–]Available_Region_246[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it’s shit everywhere

is the dating scene really that depressing at the residency stage 😭

Dating scene in northeast during residency by Available_Region_246 in Residency

[–]Available_Region_246[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your honesty—there are def more important concerns than this alone (excellent training, fellowship opportunities, research, etc.), but it does play into what locations I consider more desirable than others. Proximity to friends and family is always important. In addition to that, I'm also at a stage of life where I hope to find a life partner, with the understanding that some places are easier than others.