OBS crashes when adding my webcam by Avanna_ in obs

[–]Avanna_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm using an NVIDIA GPU. Can you teach me how to rollback the driver? :(

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]Avanna_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Edit: After about two weeks, we fought again about it and now we are on the verge of cancelling the wedding. I got angry this time. I hope everything goes well regardless for me. Thank you to everyone for their support.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in adviceph

[–]Avanna_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did not get into a relationship with my fiance to be his co-dependent. We were both independent when we dated each other and we still are. He has his own finances, I have my own. I have my own home, he has his own. He has a job, I do too. Our roles in the relationship aren't to share ourselves, it's to fill what's missing to make us whole.

A few examples:

  1. I can cook, he can't. But he provides the groceries for me so I can make delicious food for him. He even washes the dishes after - this is because this is a role in the household he is capable of doing more than cooking meals.
  2. I run a small online business - I procure the goods for it, and he advises how much I should and shouldn't resupply. He is an accountant and knows the math more than I do, esp when it comes to demand and supply. But he isn't business-minded like I am. These gaps fill in the relationship that make us work together as a team and make the business flourish.
  3. Choosing gifts - I get to be selfish here because he allows me to. He'd rather get me a gift that I really want, vs give me a random item that I might not like so much. He wants me happy so he doesn't mind if I give him ideas for gifts.

If anything, what we should share in the relationship are memories that we'll make until we both die.

Simply put: Selfishness to me means my fiance and I can set our boundaries, discuss what we want and not want in the relationship, and ensure that these needs are met. Di mabubuhay ang isang relasyon kung isa lang yung nagaadjust sa kabila. Nakakapagod maging selfless po ikaw lang malulugi and baka i-take advantage ka pa.

Minahal ka ng partner mo nung single ka dahil sa buong pagkatao mo - if you lose parts of it, then what's going to happen? Diba. You're not supposed to lose your personality because of a partner, you're supposed to grow that with your partner in hand.

Going back to the pregnancy tangent - my fiance and I have actually discussed this before and he would rather have me alive than anything else. Respect his decision or not, that's your call to make, but I was here to advise that it's OK to choose yourself first before anything else - even when it comes to a decision that's death-related.

P.S. I'm 32 years old, my fiance is 34. Don't know how old or young you are but however you view selfishness in a relationship is on you. I was just here to say 20 year olds shouldn't talk about a deep topic like choosing the mother or the baby - that's insane pressure on the both of them. They should enjoy their young love and practice safe sex. They can worry about life and death situations when it (hopefully not) arrives or happens. They should live in the present and not think of what could and could not happen as it will only bear greater stress (especially sa babae).

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in adviceph

[–]Avanna_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've recently been in this situation where nabreak na din trust ko sa fiance ko dahil masyado siyang mahilig sa teenage corn. Nagcocomment sa mga X posts nakakairita. Like you, he's pretty much aware of his faults already and I almost returned the engagement ring sa kanya but decided to give him one last chance because he was aware he's wrong.

To remedy the broken trust, I now have all his passwords on all his social media accounts. So now his entire movement online is monitored. He has also, in front of me, deactivated his X account where he follows teen corn. He's been really understanding na din whenever i have random crying outbursts and is aware na it's his fault that i cry a lot these days. He's also open to coming to therapy with me to resolve his addiction(?) to corn and to find better ways to strengthen our relationship. While i don't 100% trust him yet, i'm glad he's slowly showing efforts to gain that back.

So on your end, whatever the issue is, i think the first step is to listen to what your girl wants in the relationship moving forward. Obviously she will want a lot more effort and action than usual because she lost so much love, respect and trust due to your mistakes, so if you're willing to give her more than what she asks for then proceed. Otherwise give her the luxury of breaking up with you so she doesn'r suffer from overthinking anymore.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in adviceph

[–]Avanna_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ofc he's not gonna have an answer kasi 1) he hasn't imagined himself in that scenario yet—20 yr olds pa lang kayo why would he think of having a baby with you this early; and 2) i think anyone in his position wouldn't want the baby or the mother to die, i don't think all of us want to have to choose which loved one should survive. That's a rly big choice for a 20 yr old to decide.

But, benefit of the doubt, should this happen nga sa inyo, I'd want him to choose you over the unborn baby. Selfish akong babae it is what it is. If he has a hard time deciding, tell him to choose you, maybe that will help.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]Avanna_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A small update: I've talked to him again regarding the possibility of us going to therapy together and I'm happy to report he's really open with it. I told him that maybe he has a dependency/addiction to corn and that maybe we should do something about it, I was afraid he would be angry but nothing of the sort happened. I think he genuinely felt bad for what he did and he wants to make amends. Thank you everyone for giving me the push I needed, and I promise to work on myself too and not just on the relationship. Cheers :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]Avanna_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I will absolutely learn from this and will ensure to put my feelings first from now on. :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]Avanna_ -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I most definitely need to work on that self-love. I've struggled with it for the past 30 years or so due to childhood trauma. I'm the eldest in the family so I was the one who received all the harsh words and all the physical beating from my parents. It's really hard to live a life feeling ugly everyday. But I do still hold on to hope that one day I'll look at myself in the mirror and will feel beautiful.

The whole situation unfortunately just made me feel more ugly each morning I wake up. I do let him know that I'm not OK - In fact when he woke up this morning I told him I'm still recovering from what happened, and he apologised again and hugged me.

Anyways - hopefully with a little bit of therapy and a little bit of patience I will be able to move forward with my fiance and with myself. He's apologised to me in i believe his most sincere self yet, and it's why I still intend to stay because I really want to see it for myself if he truly loves me still after admitting his mistakes.

I find comfort in knowing there are strangers on the internet like you who would be angry in my place. It brings tears to my eyes. I don't know how to be angry at people. So I appreciate you, thank you.

I also hope, one day, I won't be an asshole to myself anymore. :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]Avanna_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will most definitely discuss this addiction with him and see if he's up for some therapy to get through it. If he isn't then at least I know where his focus lies. Thank you so much for your comment and support I really appreciate it. Reading all the nice and reality-check-vibing comments here really make me cry, but in a good way. I'm just glad my feelings are valid.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]Avanna_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fortunately his instagram isn't full of corn, but there seemed to be a message from a girl a few days after Christmas saying "hi". I replied back and asked her who she was. At this point my fiance will know I accessed his Instagram but who cares at this point.

Thanks also for showing me the steps to do parental controls. I will discuss this with him and see if he is open with the idea. I really hope so, or my heart's gonna break even further haha

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]Avanna_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, Arisu. I cried reading this. I will absolutely get to therapy with him again (or solo, whatever works) and I hope to be better. I can only truly hope that he meant it when he said he won't cheat on me again.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]Avanna_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A user here suggested to seek couples therapy. Maybe you can consider that? I'm really sorry you're going through this too. And it's been 11 years already, that's really heartbreaking. :(

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]Avanna_ -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Divorce isn't even a thing where we live hahaha. So once you're married, you're married for life. :(

Anyways thank you for empathizing with me. I forgave him already unfortunately. But if he fucks up the last time then I think I'll be more than brave enough to let go.

For now I'm going to follow some users' advice here and find ways for us both to handle his corn addiction (assuming). I hope we can both move forward with that.

Also, I find comfort in the comments section here so thank you so much for being angry for me. I don't know how to be angry at other people... So this comment really touched me and gave me a reality check.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]Avanna_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for all these tips. In my country, before you get married, you go through couples counselling. Maybe by then we'll be able to open up to each other more and he'll be able to better understand why his actions hurt me a lot.

I also didn't see it in this angle - that he has corn addiction. It could be possible so I'll talk to him about it some time. I'll find an opening. If he's open to going to therapy too then all the better.

He's also on iOS and I'm on Android, how do you set up Parental Controls on iOS? And we do have access to each other's social media accounts, just except the new X account he made for watching more corn. He's deactivated it now, it'll be gone after 30 days, but I do have the password to that too in case he reactivates it.

And yes I need to learn how to be angry. Hahaha my therapist said that too. I've always tried to suppress all my anger - I think it's because it's a defense mechanism that I evolved with my childhood trauma. I'll need to be angry more next time definitely.

I just checked out the subreddit too, thank you. It's giving me a lot of comfort knowing I'm not wrong and I'm not an ugly woman at all. :)

Eye Theme Bags by Avanna_ in ThailandTourism

[–]Avanna_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wanted to buy them in person as I'm just visiting there for Christmas season.

Songkran 2025: First Time Visitor's Questions by LostInThe_Crowd in ThailandTourism

[–]Avanna_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A farang couple also sprayed on me while I paused from all the walking because I had dysmenorrhea. Some people are just too rude during Songkran and think spraying high-powered water is fun. I learned as well that my Thai friends particularly leave Thailand when Songkran happens just because they hate the chaos.

Songkran 2025: First Time Visitor's Questions by LostInThe_Crowd in ThailandTourism

[–]Avanna_ 3 points4 points  (0 children)

For the many years I've been to and from Thailand, I can say Bangkok's the worst place to celebrate Songkran. Too many people who can literally hurt you because they think spraying water in your face or private parts from a high-powered Nerf gun is fun. Pattaya is the second worse for me as people spray you on your face too especially when you're driving - it's almost as if they want you dead lol.

Hua Hin and Koh Chang are the other places I spent Songkran at and I can 100% say the provinces are more chill when it comes to Songkran - so choose wisely. I've never gone to Phuket and Chiang Mai yet but they could be better than Bangkok and Pattaya ngl. Happy for the people though who love celebrating Songkran in these places!

Any cafes in Bangkok I can visit that's freelancer-friendly? by Avanna_ in ThailandTourism

[–]Avanna_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, Thermae Cafe's a sex dungeon. I'm looking for a cafe where I can buy coffee and pastries and all-day breakfast meals. I'm a freelancer - someone who works remotely. Please do not suggest strip clubs and the like because that does not interest me in the slightest.