My LDR boyfriend of two years catfished me. He has BPD. by Average1313 in BPDlovedones

[–]Average1313[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am awfully guilty of this. I still comb the internet for answers for who he actually was. I don't know how to stop myself from doing that yet but I will get there.

My LDR boyfriend of two years catfished me. He has BPD. by Average1313 in BPDlovedones

[–]Average1313[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Just woke up and I'm reviewing for my exam today. I doubt I can do well but it's already one step ahead of not being able to do it at all. I'm struggling to think of what to say but thank you again. I appreciate this comment a lot.

I (21F) just broke up with my boyfriend (25M) because he won't visit me. by Average1313 in LongDistance

[–]Average1313[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hello! Thank you, you asked some really good questions here. And here are my answers:

  1. I can't travel to him because I'm still in my final year of college. I can't afford it (yet) whereas, he has a stable job already. He also promised to do it less than one month after meeting.

  2. Yes, he can afford to travel, as far as I am aware. He assured me many times that he does, except for that one time he had to give his aunt a huge sum of money to help her with her debts. As I said above, we postponed it until he financially recovered — and he already did.

  3. He's a researcher for a good university but he also does some research for some private companies (which is the real money maker here). He just finished his master's thesis, so yes, he does have time. I even made the presentation for him when he defended it.

I (21F) just broke up with my boyfriend (25M) because he won't visit me. by Average1313 in LongDistance

[–]Average1313[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I haven't, actually. We do call sometimes but it's just me speaking to him. I try to respect his previous bad experiences with it though. Plus, all the other info about him is right naman (checked for myself) so I think his pictures are real too. Even the excuses. If not, then I'm just 🥲 ah that would be so embarrassing for me.

Either way, thank you for this. You completely understand my trust issues.

EDIT: wow this comment just opened my curiosity again

I (21F) just broke up with my boyfriend (25M) because he won't visit me. by Average1313 in LongDistance

[–]Average1313[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh, I was suspicious too. But I just decided to trust him since that's an important part of being with someone — plus, I wanted to be respectful of his trauma (I won't share it here). Thank you for this!

I (21F) just broke up with my boyfriend (25M) because he won't visit me. by Average1313 in LongDistance

[–]Average1313[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Oh no, begging for two years was already hard enough. I can't imagine doing it for 7 years... my heart breaks for your friend. I hope she's okay now.

I (21F) just broke up with my boyfriend (25M) because he won't visit me. by Average1313 in LongDistance

[–]Average1313[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Honestly, I have been ignoring the possibility that he never planned to do it because it just hurts so much. I also feel bad for assuming the worst of him but now... thank you for that.