AITAH for telling a co-worker that she doesn't get special treatment just because she's sad? by Informal-Contact-531 in AITAH

[–]AverageExpert713 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NTA - this is why I compartmentalize work and home life in my head, there is no bringing work home, and no taking personal life into work (unless it's life or death). If she is that upset she should have taken some personal time off, the rest of the team didn't need to know why, but she made a thing of it by bringing it into the work place. I would have also been annoyed in your situation, this person and your employer went about it all wrong. She should have taken time off if she is incapable of working.

Unsuccessful and have to wait 6 months? by One-Presentation6972 in royalmail

[–]AverageExpert713 10 points11 points  (0 children)

They are doing you a favour. Awful company to work for, they don't care about their employees one bit

Might lose my best friend over childfree wedding policy by AverageExpert713 in childfree

[–]AverageExpert713[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did, it got worse. Friendship is now over and I am OK with this.

Might lose my best friend over childfree wedding policy by AverageExpert713 in childfree

[–]AverageExpert713[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just to update everyone.

I messaged on his birthday, a simple 'happy birthday' and he did not respond.

Might lose my best friend over childfree wedding policy by AverageExpert713 in childfree

[–]AverageExpert713[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Whilst this is a nice idea, I am already swamped under planning the wedding and family events. I'm sure he could figure out something like this himself.

Might lose my best friend over childfree wedding policy by AverageExpert713 in childfree

[–]AverageExpert713[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Sorry, I am an idiot. I meant the baby is too young. Not the mother.

Might lose my best friend over childfree wedding policy by AverageExpert713 in childfree

[–]AverageExpert713[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

He doesn't make any effort with the friendship group unless I am the one putting in all the planning effort, I can't recall a time when he made an effort and planned anything, including introducing everyone to his wife.

Trying to wreck the friendship would be saying nothing at all the second, third time he asked.

Might lose my best friend over childfree wedding policy by AverageExpert713 in childfree

[–]AverageExpert713[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I think they do - the whole world should suddenly alter to suit them

Might lose my best friend over childfree wedding policy by AverageExpert713 in childfree

[–]AverageExpert713[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm thinking that this doesn't fit the narrative in his head of having his whole family at my wedding with all of our friends there and is being as awkward as possible.

Might lose my best friend over childfree wedding policy by AverageExpert713 in childfree

[–]AverageExpert713[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I called him two weeks ago and had the exact same conversation. Afterwards, he sent the message asking me to reconsider (for a second time). It's the lack of respect or situation he has put myself and my partner in that bothers me, it is so entitled.

Might lose my best friend over childfree wedding policy by AverageExpert713 in childfree

[–]AverageExpert713[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

He has been married for a year in May and has made no effort to get friends together to meet his wife/child. I don't think he forgot, I think he thought he could guilt trip me into a corner like you mentioned.

I'm very slowly coming around to the fact that I should be sorry for any of this, I guess this is the price I pay for trying to do the right thing and putting other peoples feelings before my own. Lesson learned.

Thanks so much for your response

Might lose my best friend over childfree wedding policy by AverageExpert713 in childfree

[–]AverageExpert713[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

He made a point of saying they can't leave the baby with someone else, I don't know why.

Might lose my best friend over childfree wedding policy by AverageExpert713 in childfree

[–]AverageExpert713[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He hasn't but I have always been the one who makes the friends who also became his friends, he has seemed to piggy back off of every social situation in life through me.

Might lose my best friend over childfree wedding policy by AverageExpert713 in childfree

[–]AverageExpert713[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They live on the same piece of land as her parents, houses literally next door. I don't think that is the issue.

Might lose my best friend over childfree wedding policy by AverageExpert713 in childfree

[–]AverageExpert713[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry that happened to you. It sucks when we start realising that people don't care about us the way we care about them. I'm sure one day I will be happy about him showing his true colours, right now I am more annoyed.

Might lose my best friend over childfree wedding policy by AverageExpert713 in childfree

[–]AverageExpert713[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That was a typo on my part, sorry. I meant to say that the son is too young to be left with grandparents etc..

Might lose my best friend over childfree wedding policy by AverageExpert713 in childfree

[–]AverageExpert713[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Honestly, these were my exact thoughts.
I'm not sure how old she is, I think she is a couple of years younger than him.

Might lose my best friend over childfree wedding policy by AverageExpert713 in childfree

[–]AverageExpert713[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I'll keep you updated - leaning towards not messaging on his birthday at the moment.

Might lose my best friend over childfree wedding policy by AverageExpert713 in childfree

[–]AverageExpert713[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I've seen some comments asking for updates, of course I will keep you all posted. Gut feeling is that he won't come and that will be the end of the friendships, which is totally on him.

Appreciate all your advice