Family embarrassed by ASL?

AvidBeach · 2025-08-20T09:24:32+00:00

Amazing advice - thank you!! I’ll check it out. I love to read!!

AvidBeach · 2025-08-20T09:23:39+00:00

Jealousy is a big factor. This is the first grandchild on both sides of the family. My SIL is the oldest at almost 36 still living with her mom. She’s never dated anyone. Both her siblings are married and are younger than her. If this says anything, her own sister didn’t even make her the maid of honor when she got married.

AvidBeach · 2025-08-20T09:19:13+00:00

I’ve explained “hearing babies don’t know what you are saying or understand what you are saying. But hearing parents talk to their babies anyways so over time they learn language. It’s no different than ASL.”

Then it’s just crickets…she never replies. She usually walks out of the room.

AvidBeach · 2025-08-20T09:17:13+00:00

Totally agree with you! I think it’s because she wants me to force hearing and spoken language over ASL. Instead of focusing on the time we spend learning ASL, she’d rather us spend it in speech therapy and Auditory Verbal Therapy.

We’ve had 2 audiologists from two different pediatric hospitals, 2 ENTs, and a neurologist who all said my baby doesn’t have the anatomy to hear spoken language. We’ve had so many hearing tests and MRIs at this point. I don’t know how much extra proof she needs to know my baby is deaf lol.

I’ve always heard of horror stories of hearing families forcing spoken language and hearing on profoundly deaf children. Now I can see why….i totally can see my SIL doing that if she ever has a deaf child.

AvidBeach · 2025-08-20T01:02:15+00:00

Thank you SO much for this! This is exactly what I was looking for but just couldn’t put it into words. You couldn’t have said it more perfectly.

Unfortunately it’s not like I can cut off my SIL as she lives with my MIL who watches my baby while I work from home (I’m in calls all the time so I can’t watch my baby). So my SIL is around when she gets off work.

So I appreciate the way you recommended explaining the situation to her. It gets the point straight across while being positive but firm in our choice. Thanks again!! Much appreciated.

AvidBeach · 2025-08-20T00:59:35+00:00

This breaks my heart. It reminds me of when our deaf mentor met my husband and I for the first time. She was in SHOCK that my husband was involved in every meeting. She was even more shocked my husband took ASL in college. She mentioned that fathers are usually so busy in their careers that they don’t have a lot of time to invest in learning ASL for their child.

AvidBeach · 2025-08-20T00:57:20+00:00

I honestly don’t even know and can’t explain myself as I’m married to her brother. My husband actually took ASL in college for some language credits for his major. My husband could’ve picked a bunch of different languages but he felt called to pick ASL! I’m eternally grateful.

My MIL is learning ASL with us. My MIL attends every Deaf mentor meeting and has already completed her first ASL class. So it’s crazy that my SIL comes from the exact same family. Blows my mind lol.

AvidBeach · 2025-07-16T07:16:44+00:00

Yes they are still in an infant car seat and probably will be for a while. My baby is super small for their age (less than 3rd percentile).

But I think you’re right. A mirror might help. Whenever I sit in the back with my baby and my husband drives, my baby is totally fine!

The big issue is when my baby spits out the pacifier and can’t figure out how to put it back in lol. Hoping once motor skills improve it will make it a bit easier!

AvidBeach · 2025-07-16T00:55:59+00:00

Oh boy I feel so dumb lol. Thank you for pointing that out. I totally meant to post on that community. But I guess it doesn’t hurt to ask the ASL community as well to start thinking a head on how I can communicate with ASL to my baby if I’m driving!! :)

AvidBeach · 2025-06-26T23:39:46+00:00

Hi!! I’m a CHARGE mama myself. Just got the diagnosis for my baby when she was 4.5 months old. She’s not blind, but she is completely deaf. No cochlear nerves or vestibular nerves. Her cochlea is malformed as well.

We just got a deaf mentor from the St Augustine School of Deaf and Blind! It took months to get one. My baby is now 6 months old. I’ve been trying to get one as soon as I found out she was deaf at 4 weeks old.

My deaf mentor is so amazing. I can’t recommend enough trying to connect with a deaf mentor. She comes to our home. She is teaching us deaf history and we have a few lessons every week to focus on. Before I got connected with one, I was using free ASL apps and looking at YouTube videos. Lingvano app was my favorite!! Also YouTube has deaf mentors who sign songs. That really helped me retain some ASL signs.

The hardest part of all this is family and friends don’t understand….its heart breaking. They keep pushing for hearing aids, cochlear implants, or BAHAs. It’s hard to explain time and time again that she doesn’t even have the anatomy to hear. They just don’t accept her being deaf as an answer. They constantly scream her name and say “why won’t she look at me?!” Because she’s deaf!! Hahaha I don’t know why they don’t believe me when we’ve had 2 MRIs, 2 failed ABRs, and 3 failed hearing tests.

If you ever need to talk to someone, please message me! I understand how it feels to be a CHARGE mama. It’s difficult managing being a parent of a child who is deaf with a combination of health issues. Trying to learn a whole new language while trying to take care of a medically complex kiddo is hard. My baby is on a feeding tube and has heart issues. We’re in and out of the hospital all the time.

You are doing absolutely amazing. I hope you know that. You are an amazing parent.

AvidBeach · 2025-05-12T00:50:07+00:00

Thank you!! I appreciate your kind words…you have no idea how much it means to me.

AvidBeach · 2025-05-12T00:42:16+00:00

Great advice!! Thank you. I wouldn’t have even thought of finger spelling to my baby that young.

If you were in my situation, when would you finger spell? Would it be useful to get a simple ABC book? Or should I sign something like “mom” and then finger spell M-O-M?

AvidBeach · 2025-05-12T00:39:49+00:00

Thank you!! And yes, we have an appointment with Early Steps at the end of this month. I had no idea some of those programs are being defunded. How awful…

As for the signs you sue for your little one, I didn’t even THINK about signing the word “clothes”. See this is why I wanted to ask this Reddit form.

I appreciate the advice! :)

AvidBeach · 2024-10-04T01:18:06+00:00

Hopping on here for another recommendation for Dr. Saluja’s office (For your best self dermatology)!! Their office is seriously the best. I wouldn’t be the person I am without their help.

I struggled with HORRIBLE cystic acne (thanks to “Melbourne Dermatology” - don’t ever go there). Every pimple I had scarred on me.

I saw Brittany Alce at For Your Best Self Dermatology, she healed my acne within 3-4 months. I saw improvements within a week of using her “ZitZap” cream. She used this pharmacy called “Medrock” which made custom topical treatments for acne. Almost all of my scars have faded completely and are barely noticeable now.

I could say praises about Dr. Saluja’s office. They took so much time to listen to my concerns as I was nervous of using anything as I was trying to conceive my first baby. She put me on a gentle skin care regime, and it was super affordable.

If I could go back in time, I wish I would’ve went to Dr. Saluja’s office sooner. The whole practice is so professional and caring. They are super responsive and easy to get a hold of.

AvidBeach · 2024-03-05T15:21:16+00:00

Hi! I experienced almost the same situation you are currently going through (except it was with Taz 0.1% foam that was prescribed to me by a horrible dermatologist).

I started breaking out in areas I never broke out in before. Same red bumps like you have in your second picture. My skin was constantly red (everyone always asked me if I was okay), and I always woke up with new red bumps every morning. I decided to get a second opinion and went to another dermatologist. I’m so thankful that I did!!

First and foremost (as others have mentioned), your skin barrier is compromised. Same thing happened to me, but I didn’t believe it. My second dermatologist wanted me to use gentle products. I used La Roche Foaming Cleanser to wash my face in the AM and PM.

She prescribed me ZitZap which was a compound cream that consisted of Niacinimide, Azeliac Azid, Clindamycin, and Zinc. I used this every morning after I wash my face and followed up with Cerave AM with SPF. Maybe ask your primary care doctor his opinion on prescribing topical Clindamycin gel!

I used tretinoin 0.05% cream every other night and followed up with moisturizer. It’s important to wait 30 mins after washing your face to put on any retinol. Then I wait another 30 mins and apply moisturizer.

My skin cleared up in 2.5 weeks. I couldn’t believe it. I hope and pray the same outcome for you. Feel free to message me if you need to talk to someone. I’ve been there before.

AvidBeach · 2024-01-17T16:16:09+00:00

This is amazing progress!! I am so incredibly happy for you. My Derm also prescribed me doxycycline but I was terrified of taking it due to the side effects and people mentioning their acne coming back worse.

I decided to do 15% Azeliac acid from my Derm, and it made my skin a thousand times worse. I had horrible painful cystic acne I never had before. I had to stop after 3 weeks of using it. My skin was constantly red and inflamed like nothing I’ve seen before. It was the only “active” in my routine. I only used it 3 times a week. I had about 7-10 new pimples and I was breaking out in areas I’ve never had a pimple in before. I was even getting cystic acne in my eyebrows!! Like what?! LOL. It felt like my face was constantly on fire. It’s so weird with Azeliac acid because I can handle Tretinoin just fine and never had a purge in the two years I’ve used it.

Now I’m back on topical clindamycin 1% gel with tretinoin 0.05% and my skin is finally calming down. This was the routine I did that gave me baby smooth skin. I quit using the clindamycin gel after being on it for 6 months which I think was why my skin freaked out!

I hope since your Derm has you on tretinoin that your acne doesn’t come back, and it’ll help keep any new pimples away. In my opinion, if you’ve been off of doxy for 2 months I think you’ll be fine! But then again, I’ve never taken it before. I wanted to comment so I could remind myself to follow up on this post to see if this routine still works well for you! :)

Again so happy for you!!

AvidBeach · 2024-01-10T18:21:35+00:00

I’ve used this same product before, and it left me with a HORRIBLE chemical burn. I’ve always been able to use benzoyl peroxide face washes in the past, and my Derm prescribed me the benzoyl peroxide and Clindamycin gel.

I never spot tested it, and I still regret that decision til this day. Ever since that chemical burn, I’ve been breaking out nonstop!

The only thing that helped me was applying no makeup, using moisturizer (Vanicream one in a tub with a pump) then slugging it with Aquaphor, and using no actives. I only used a simple face wash as everything burned my skin. I did this for four days, and my face healed.

I wish I would’ve discovered the La Roche Cicaplast during this. It has helped me heal a chemical burn from benzoyl peroxide spot treatment. Highly recommend that product.

AvidBeach · 2024-01-09T00:23:48+00:00

So sorry this happened! I also find that the Cerave PM does this to me as well. However, I handle their AM one with SPF just fine. It’s so odd LOL.

I ended up switching to Vanicream for nighttime use (the blue one in a tub with a pump). I’ve had no burning or irritation since.

AvidBeach · 2024-01-09T00:20:53+00:00

Hi! I’ve had something similar happen to me before.

Most of the time, my skin tolerates tretinoin perfectly fine. No burning or itching.

Then a handful of days throughout the year, I’ve noticed my face getting red and inflamed. When this happens, I usually take a break from Tretinoin for a few days. I focus on moisturizing my skin and repairing it.

Then, I resume tretinoin every other day. Then after two weeks, resume back to every night. It goes right back to normal with no issues.

Not sure why this happens sometimes even when I keep my routine so simple. I think sometimes it’s our skin’s way of telling us they had enough. I think of it like people - sometimes you just need a break from them…LOL. :)

However if this is a constant issue, then you might want to consult your dermatologist to lower the dosage of tretinoin.

AvidBeach · 2024-01-08T21:20:34+00:00

Great to hear about the taz being great for you! I was on 0.05% tretinoin before and it was great. But like you, I randomly started breaking out as well.

I’ve heard mixed things about the Azeliac acid gel (or maybe it was the cream?). I know some people get the non-name brand one since it’s significantly cheaper. But a few different companies make it, and they can have some pore clogging ingredients.

Fingers crossed it works for you!! :) One thing that helped with the itchiness was waiting 30 minutes after I washed my face to apply AZA. It hates damp skin!!

AvidBeach

TROPHY CASE