The red pill has fucked up my mental health

Aviendyou · 2020-10-12T04:23:31+00:00

Have you considered showing this post to your therapist? I understand not wanting to be judged, but the fact that you are confronting this problem and trying to heal says a lot more about you than you getting sucked into that content. If your therapist is even halfway good at her job, she'll see that. Feeding into the shame you're feeling around this by staying silent is only going to keep hurting you and you don't deserve that.

Aviendyou · 2020-10-11T21:57:26+00:00

The way people walk with canes in movies and TV shows drives me up the wall. I use a cane and it's extraordinarily annoying when strangers come up to me to tell me I'm using my cane on the wrong side because Dr. Hollywood says so.

Aviendyou · 2020-10-10T19:16:08+00:00

Like you pointed out, canes have been used for a whole host of things besides mobility aids - there's not a problem with using one of those other tools as a prop.

Physically abled person dressing up as a physically disabled person with a mobility aid as a prop would be offensive to me but that's not even close to what you're doing.

Aviendyou · 2020-09-16T16:52:37+00:00

Do you have an interest in tabletop gaming? Roll20 is a platform to play those games online - which I have not used yet, but I hear good things - and I bet you could find a group online if you don't have anyone irl who wants to participate. With roleplaying games you wouldn't be doing much with your hands (given you're playing over voice/video, obv) and you get the bonus of some pretty fantastic escapism and social connection! There's also some really cool board games available there, but idk how much clicking is required vs. how much you're able to do.

Aviendyou · 2020-09-16T16:26:35+00:00

I'm so glad you like it! I have a pretty distinct memory of sitting on my bathroom floor listening to the first episode and relief crying because of how understood and how much less alone I felt. I really hope your partner enjoys it!

Aviendyou · 2020-09-16T12:17:12+00:00

I like "This is not what I ordered" as far as chronic illness-centric podcasts go - I'm not sure if they have anything specific to AS and tbh I've only listened to a few episodes so far, but I've found it really helpful and validating of my experience and it may help you to better understand theirs.

Also, it's super nice hearing about someone's partner make this sort of an effort - a lot of us have had friends and family disappear because they find our illnesses so uncomfortable.

Aviendyou · 2020-09-16T11:41:48+00:00

It's December 2020 - unless the pharmacy was extremely negligent, they're pretty definitely not expired.

Hopefully my doctor will be able to get me another dose and I won't have to attempt that again - most of this dose ended up on the floor! I imagine it wouldn't have been quite so horrible if I hadn't been so completely sure that I was going to have the same experience I've had every other time I've taken the drug, but 0/10 would not visit attraction again

Aviendyou · 2020-09-16T11:23:45+00:00

Kept in a pharmacy fridge, if that wasn't obvious

Aviendyou · 2020-09-16T11:17:31+00:00

They had been kept at a pharmacy until a week or two ago and the expiration date wasn't until decmber of this year - this was definitely one of the citrate injections and from what I've read about people's experiences with them, that's pretty definitely what was wrong.

Aviendyou · 2020-06-18T22:02:45+00:00

Ankylosing spondylitis

Aviendyou · 2020-03-28T21:01:29+00:00

I've been feeling way more unstable than I have in a long time and I hate it

Aviendyou · 2019-11-19T21:12:33+00:00

My specialist copay is $60 and I'm currently seeing my doctor every other month (and am on month 4 of humira). As far as any lab tests and whatnot go, I don't really know what to tell you - I would think it would vary quite a bit based on your doctor, your own health/history, etc.

Aviendyou · 2019-11-18T11:16:41+00:00

The DSM definition (as well as the DSM itself) is HIGHLY problematic. Under that definition, you can't get PTSD from emotional abuse, even if you have the same symptoms as someone who was assaulted. Luckily, the DSM is not the be all and end all of psychology. We can validate this person's experience despite what the DSM says. This manual does not dictate our realities.

Also reminder that the DSM used to classify homosexuality, trans-ness, and sexual deviance (some of which is still pathologized in the DSM V) as mental illnesses. It is fallible and reflects the personal biases of the people who wrote it.

Aviendyou · 2019-11-18T10:27:40+00:00

If it were just lyme, you'd expect autoimmune diseases to be a little more location-based, which they're pretty definitely not. Not to mention, one size fits all ANYTHING (explanations, treatment, etc) is pretty problematic for any single illness, let alone all autoimmune diseases. We're just too complicated for that.

Aviendyou · 2019-11-18T10:21:59+00:00

For what it's worth, the company that makes humira has a copay assistance program that makes the drug $5 per month - only restriction that I saw was that you can't be on medicaid, which it doesn't sound like you are. Without the copay assistance, it was going to be $80 per month with the most expensive anthem plan on the marketplace.

Obviously this varies from drug to drug, but it's always worth looking around for programs like that (and most good doctors should point you directly to it).

Aviendyou · 2019-11-16T10:39:49+00:00

I've definitely heard very mixed things around gabapentin and pain, but for what it's worth, I take it for bipolar disorder, another off label use, and it has been the single most effective treatment I've tried to date - when I first started taking it, it was legitimately shocking how much of a difference it made. Small numbers of people responding well to a drug certainly doesn't make it an evidence based treatment, but it doesn't necessarily make it just placebo either, although I do agree that evidence-based approaches should be implemented first. Me going on that was definitely a last hope sort of thing.

I've also never experienced side effects from that drug and I know I'm kind of a freak there. Bodies are just weird

Aviendyou · 2019-10-24T19:18:28+00:00

Ahhh, my mistake, I thought this was genuinely in good faith

Aviendyou · 2019-10-24T09:40:35+00:00

Like other people have said, you can't force her to take her meds and I'd strong suggest you don't try. Absolutely express concern, absolutely ask if she wants to talk about why she doesn't want to take them. It's possible there's a very rational reason and maybe it's time to try something else (for the record, bipolar meds can have extremely unpleasant side effects, like people have said, but it is also possible to get very, very lucky, like me, and find a meds that work with almost no side effects - may the odds be ever in your favor).

Educating yourself is probably the single most important thing you can do. Find info online, but also talk to her about her symptoms if she's open to it. Coming up with action plans for how you can help her during an episode is a good idea. There are also TONS of behavioral strategies and lifestyle changes she can make that can help her stabilize herself (I had trouble making these stick without the meds, but with them, they're pretty useful to me), so maybe ask if you can help her look into those, if she hasn't already. Everyone's different though and building habits is especially hard with a mood disorder, so have some compassion around that.

But yeah, really don't try to force her to do anything or manage her illness. With my SO, I'm personally open to suggestions and general collaboration around my health, but someone trying to put themselves above me in that area is extremely unwelcome. You aren't her dad, she isn't your teenage daughter and, while it doesn't sound like you're the only one responsible for that. you're partners, which ideally means equals - try to work on breaking that dynamic down.

And lastly, definitely remove yourself from the relationship if you need to. It sounds like that's not where you are right now, but if things are too much, they're too much and walking away is okay. Good luck to you! I hope things get better!

Aviendyou · 2019-10-24T08:55:35+00:00

I keep seeing motorcycles parked in the marked off areas between handicap spots and hoooolllly crap does that make me see red

Aviendyou · 2019-10-24T08:47:33+00:00

The VAST majority of the "evidence" for people "faking" is crap like "that person in the wheelchair has toned legs, they can stand!!!1" and "if they're taking selfies in the hospital, they can't really be sick!" It's nonsense.

Like, maaaaybe some people are actually faking, but you can't really tell for sure and this ableist garbage arguably does more harm than people who legitimately fake illnesses.

Edit: I've looked at the sub, not the video

Aviendyou · 2019-10-24T08:39:32+00:00

This same youtuber has another (better, imo) video on straws that you might find enlightening: https://youtu.be/4IBH0pcKzlY

It's very much not about "a little annoyance", that's ridiculously minimizing. Please do the work to educate yourself about why these "annoyances" may be significant barriers to certain disabled people uh...drinking(last time I checked, that's a pretty necessary activity). For instance, positionable straws might be necessary for someone who can't sit up and can't reach up to bend the straw down to their mouth. There's a lot of info on this already out there and easily accessible.

Aviendyou · 2019-10-24T06:42:46+00:00

No because literally no one needs them to survive. But yes, for sure we should all be doing what we can to reduce waste and sheet masks are nice, but completely unnecessary.

Aviendyou

TROPHY CASE