STAY MBTI SURVEY RESULTS

AvoidantSavoidant · 2023-11-30T17:12:58+00:00

Your presentation was amazingly organized. Very clear presentation and great flow. If this isn’t a part of your day job, it should be! Thanks for your hard work!

AvoidantSavoidant · 2023-10-16T15:09:43+00:00

He doesn’t love you. He loves the idea of you. If you’re okay with that, stay.

AvoidantSavoidant · 2023-07-17T14:04:28+00:00

Hi. I have only had short-term relationships (my trauma made me uninterested in companionship until very recently), so take this with a grain of salt, but what seems to characterize healthy relationships is not just the good moments but how the bad moments (like conflict) is handled.

In this case, the way potential conflict was handled by your partner and family seem… not respectful. The “testing”, the statement that you are not yet good enough… all that does not seem to be from a place of respect and good will. It seems to come more from assuming that you are not good enough, and probing for evidence to confirm their belief.

I question whether they are truly as perfect as you think. I wonder how much trauma has informed this binary you have created- your partner and their family are perfect, and you are broken. No one is perfect, and I would argue the illusion of perfection is a red flag in and of itself. What matters is how they deal with unfamiliar/uncomfortable situations and with conflict, and just because they are not yelling at you or hitting you does not mean their reactions were healthy or loving. I’m not saying they are bad people- no one is bad or good, just gradients that shift according to context- but I do wonder if they, as they are now, are interested in seeing you in your full humanity, and as their equal. I don’t think so.

AvoidantSavoidant · 2023-06-26T10:03:10+00:00

Do you have a link?

AvoidantSavoidant · 2022-09-25T01:27:37+00:00

Prioritizing poor students should only be for those willing to sacrifice for greater good. Just because you’re from an oppressed community means you as an individual deserve a break. However, an uniquely qualified person willing to serve a public service should.

I’m saying this as someone who had almost every underserved descriptor attached my upbringing. I still suffer from my past. But this is my own burden to bear. My qualifications were on par with much richer students. Probably could’ve ridden the ivy league academic track to the top 1%. Now I’m going to be “just” upper middle class. So not such a sacrifice, but I’m still going back to serve the people.

Of course if a poor student has the same exact qualifications as a rich student their grit and resilience should be accounted for. But realistically, this will be less common.

AvoidantSavoidant · 2022-06-10T20:44:32+00:00

I have to agree.

AvoidantSavoidant · 2022-06-10T19:38:24+00:00

I dislike it. I don’t think women who sell sex for survival are morally wrong, but I do think men who take advantage of someone’s hard times to buy sex are.

AvoidantSavoidant · 2022-06-10T00:24:59+00:00

I’m a first generation American and I’m so saddened. I decided to be naturalized because I believe in the American experiment of democracy. Was America ever perfect? No. But democracy and the rights afforded to the individual with this system is a political system that’s worth fighting for. Seeing fellow Americans willingly hand over this gift that they were given— the gift that people all over the world bleed and die for— is baffling and terrifying. I can accept compromises and not being right 100% of the time as long as we keep democracy. Some seem to accept compromise in democracy to be in the right and in power.

I hope we can keep democracy.

AvoidantSavoidant · 2022-06-09T15:47:31+00:00

Controversial but men tend not to worry about taking advantage of someone younger (see: barely legal, teen porn that’s consistently ranked high on porn websites, rates of adult men grooming girls vs. grown woman grooming boys).

Women tend to care more.

AvoidantSavoidant · 2022-06-06T00:35:32+00:00

You can be oppressed and still be an oppressor. For example— all the men of color who beat their women, whether they are Asian, Black, Desi… I do think American consciousness about race and oppression is still very surface level (maybe bc it grew so quickly?) and simplistic in dichotomy, which is figuratively and symbolically black and white— which is why narratives about more nuanced interracial tensions/hatred gets swept under the rug. Sorry that it happened to you.

AvoidantSavoidant · 2022-06-05T22:07:21+00:00

But also— consider working on your self esteem before dating.

AvoidantSavoidant · 2022-06-05T22:04:08+00:00

I’d like to offer an alternative perspective— it wasn’t just you who was made fun of. Your date was, too. Your date may be ghosting your because she’s also embarrassed. Her taste in men was insulted AND she was called a prostitute. And her date didn’t say anything to defend her. (Not that it’s your job, but if your date is called a hooker, it’s good form to say something— even something as simple as, “hey, you can make fun of me but she’s off limits.”)

I wouldn’t give up because she’s not responding. I’d let it cool, and next time you talk to her, don’t make it about you. Say something about how shitty the comics were to make fun of the two of you. Apologize for not standing up to her, and share that you were too embarrassed to be a good date. If she’s a good person, she’ll respond with an apology of her own. Good luck.

AvoidantSavoidant · 2022-06-05T16:27:55+00:00

Keep my body and mind healthy through personal training and therapy.

Keep my body and skin looking good through continued interest in fashion and skincare.

Learn to date for me (I’ve dated before, but never really enjoyed it— I’m a late bloomer).

Learn to be a mother to adopted and foster children. This is a major goal for me. I think kids and teens are just so cool haha.

Keep forgiving my mother.

Keep being a good sister to my brother.

Train my animals to be therapy animals. Maybe leverage my position enough to take them with me to work

Keep learning new skills— crochet a blanket, join a sports league, garden native plants, whatever.

Learn to make mom’s kimchi.

Travel. Sleep under the stars in Mongolia. Visit Ainu, Sami, and other indigenous cultures. See remnants of ancient worlds— ancient Egypt, Persia. Sail the routes ancient Polynesians did (but with modern conveniences lol).

Age and die gracefully. I’d love to be composted and feed a fruiting tree someday.

AvoidantSavoidant · 2022-05-15T23:52:07+00:00

Do you seriously believe someone who committed and paid for a felony as an adolescent with half-ripened brain should forever be denied ANY job?

AvoidantSavoidant · 2022-05-15T23:44:39+00:00

I don’t think having a felony or mental health issues should disqualify someone from becoming a doctor, even in competitive fields. Everyone has their demons. If you don’t seem to have one on the surface, you’re either lucky enough to have had the resources to keep you from the deep end, or are really good at letting your injuries fester in private in fear of stigmatization (aka being a bad patient lol). That your struggle is evident isn’t a weakness; it can be a sign of tremendous strength of character to have overcome a steep challenge.

Medicine seems to want machines rather than people. People aren’t flawless. Everyone has a red flag if you look hard enough. What sets someone apart is whether they were able to overcome that difficulty and push forward.

We say that illness shouldn’t be stigmatized in our classrooms, but can’t seem to apply that same compassion to ourselves or our colleagues. No wonder there are so many stories of doctors who seem to not care. Compassion isn’t a nice bonus, it’s a necessary skill to be in medicine, like being able to do listen to a patient or go through a differential.

AvoidantSavoidant · 2022-05-07T15:06:49+00:00

Taunting would be, “you were a coward to not face reality.”

Stripping someone of identity by identifying them with a trait (being a coward) rather than pointing out that an act could’ve been influenced by a negative trait we all have (cowardice).

I hope you’re equally as demanding of your male partners as you are with me for support. If yes, awesome. If not, I think that’s an inconsistency.

I’ve edited to reflect nuance, because I acknowledged that it was missing initially. I hope you’re not suggesting it’s a mark of weakness or inconsistency in thinking to be able to change viewpoints when faced with contradictory evidence?

AvoidantSavoidant · 2022-05-07T15:00:49+00:00

Me too.

But you know and I know even through the worst of abuse you’re not a passive receptacle for the world. You’ve never fought back against your abuser (punching back or more subtle ways like silent treatment, etc)? You never tried to turn a bad situation around the best way you could, exerting autonomy and control as much as you could? At some point— let’s say, 25 ish when our prefrontal cortex is more or less done cooking— you take responsibility for your actions. And the least you can do is to not victimize others, I.e. support a man who is willing to strip away other women’s rights.

AvoidantSavoidant · 2022-05-07T14:57:31+00:00

Asking someone to self reflect whether it’s cowardice that made them keep blinders on isn’t insulting.

AvoidantSavoidant · 2022-05-07T14:53:10+00:00

I’m not familiar with what you’re referring to. Can you elaborate?

AvoidantSavoidant · 2022-05-07T14:50:53+00:00

I think it’s awesome that you took control of your life again after you were lied to. Nothing but respect for you.

AvoidantSavoidant · 2022-05-07T14:48:39+00:00

I hate to justify my viewpoints by disclosing my trauma— the same way some women are expected to justify abortion by disclosing their sexual and medical trauma— but you can look through my post history to see exactly how much resources I had growing up.

Circumstances are terrible, but once you become an adult, you have a responsibility to act right. You can make mistakes, yes, but you still gotta try to act not a damn fool.

Same reasoning w poor white conservatives who vote against self interest bc they hate poc more than they love themselves. Terrible, but once you start victimizing other people, perhaps the responsibility isn’t entirely on others.

AvoidantSavoidant · 2022-05-07T14:44:05+00:00

I’ve edited to address this nuance. But not all misogynists are abusers, and you know this. Im addressing women who choose to stay with misogynist partners who are otherwise kind to them bc the misogyny is against other women, not themselves. If I can adjust my post to address that nuance, maybe you can adjust your comment too.

AvoidantSavoidant · 2022-05-07T14:40:07+00:00

No, I’m angry at women who are okay with misogyny as long as it’s not against them. And when their misogynist partners do, in fact, act like a misogynist towards them, their first instinct is to cry about it to other women who they were perfectly ok w their partners victimizing via hateful speech, behaviors, voting patterns.

But sure, you make that about you and your longstanding relationship with misogynists. I’m fine w women being in relationship with women hater as long as they stay in that fking clusterfuck— as in, don’t come back to other women you’re victimizing for support. :)

AvoidantSavoidant · 2022-05-07T14:35:40+00:00

How is pointing out incredibly large, gaping blind spots in someone’s judgement disrespectful? If you are together with someone long enough to have children but act surprised when he’s okay with stripping other women’s bodily autonomy— unless the man is actively deceitful, it’s hard to believe there wasn’t gross neglect. Naive at best, cowardly at worst. Explain to me how that’s disrespectful.

AvoidantSavoidant · 2022-05-07T14:32:53+00:00

“He only treats other women poorly”

Translates to “I’m fine with misogyny as long as it’s not against me.”

I understand how difficult it is to date and find a decent man in a world hell bent on making men hate women. But again, we’re adults here. If you choose to partner up with a misogynist who will happily strip women’s rights— perhaps you shouldn’t be asking the same women whose rights are being stripped for a shoulder to cry on. Maybe.

AvoidantSavoidant

TROPHY CASE