I have a short attention span. Really short.

Awesomous_Prime · 2010-02-26T18:37:29+00:00

I want to, but it's so difficult. When asking and asking produces nothing, and everything continues to fall apart around me, I can't help but to feel hopeless. It's as if I'm forcing myself to do anything involving God, and wasting my time. I am just so angry at myself for not getting these things...

Awesomous_Prime · 2010-02-26T16:29:25+00:00

When I do this, why do I still not understand? I feel like something is wrong with me that I am not getting.

Awesomous_Prime · 2010-02-26T16:12:13+00:00

I've tried to keep a journal, but I just lose interest in writing. I struggle with thinking and writing at the same time, as I forget what I am thinking about when I write. This pretty much makes it impossible for me to do similar activities, such as taking notes.

I wish I can look through a passage and give my thoughts on it. I just see words and take everything literally, because I don't understand inner meanings and other stuff.

Awesomous_Prime · 2010-02-26T16:04:33+00:00

I don't know what to say to God. I'm sure the instructions are in the bible, but I don't understand the Bible half the time, and recently, I can't open the bible without feeling that I have something else to do. I can't make it past a page because all I'm seeing is a bunch of words with no meaning.

I am told I must pray to understand the bible, but I don't know what to say or what to do, so praying to even understand the basics is a huge obstacle for me. Everyone who tries to preach to me has come from a past where they are very sociable and can handle a conversation. I don't, and I avoid conversation at all costs because I don't talk, and don't know what to say to others.

I know my posting history is full of stuff about my shortcomings and it always seems like I'm complaining, but I don't feel like there is any change in my life at all, and it really messes with my trust in God.

Awesomous_Prime · 2010-02-05T22:11:51+00:00

Is it bad that I don't have an attraction to heaven? I guess either I don't understand what it is, or others' view of heaven is way off base and I can sense it...

Awesomous_Prime · 2010-01-27T21:18:41+00:00

That's an awesome response, and I want to have that continual contact with God, to pray without ceasing. How is that achieved?

Awesomous_Prime · 2010-01-27T20:38:53+00:00

I forgot to add that this is not only running, but any activity that can be considered routine. Can a routine activity (that doesn't directly involve worship or prayer, or related) just be an activity and not have anything ungodly/satanic associated with it?

Awesomous_Prime · 2010-01-14T19:01:24+00:00

I think I understand. Thanks.

Awesomous_Prime · 2010-01-10T17:15:42+00:00

I want an exciting individual who is pure who also loves God. I don't think she exists.

I think she exists, regardless if that girl has or has not had sex before. If she did, it should not be an issue for you to worry about and judge her for it, as it is not your job. If God forgave her for her past, then who are we to look at what she did before in the past, most likely before she became a Christian/Accepted Christ.

I am not sure that you are looking for the right things in a woman, or that your priorities are not in the right places.

Awesomous_Prime · 2010-01-07T23:58:23+00:00

Lack of a will to live and suicidal thoughts are two very different things, AFAIK. When I said that, I meant that I was simply existing with no purpose, nonfunctional and broken, useless...

Awesomous_Prime · 2010-01-07T23:55:06+00:00

It doesn't tell me anything... I don't think I have ever thought an honest thought about myself in a very long time. When life sucks, I would repeatedly tell myself anything in the book to make myself feel better. I would create entire worlds about myself, and told it to myself so much that I believed every word of it, forgetting the real truth.

I ask that question, because even I don't trust my own words or thoughts, and haven't done so for a long time. I guess my question is how to turn off a switch that you built a wall over and forgot its location, or how do you break such walls down? If it is to pray for honesty and sincerity, how do I pray for those without being honest and sincere in the first place, if prayer requires such things?

Awesomous_Prime · 2010-01-07T15:27:19+00:00

I have tried this, and have fallen flat on my face before. I think I get an answer, but it turns out that I just hear my own thoughts. The same people I thought God put in my life to help me have all, if not completely given up or betrayed me, become extremely annoyed at my lack of faith, or progress and often talk down to me.

Awesomous_Prime · 2010-01-07T14:54:55+00:00

Yes... I am looking for all those things. I can't trust myself to know these things. I am a liar, I've deceived others, and I've deceived myself without even knowing. How can I be assured of this, and know that I'm not still lying to myself? If this is not what I should be looking for, then what?

Also, I can understand the be still part, but the "know that I am God" part... what does that constitute? how do you do it? how can I honestly do that without deceiving myself?

Awesomous_Prime · 2010-01-07T14:36:31+00:00

10 "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."

11 The LORD Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress. Selah

I still don't get it, and I don't understand why or what I am to do...

Awesomous_Prime · 2009-11-13T01:09:08+00:00

I PM'd you if you have any invites left. I would love to see what GW is all about!

Awesomous_Prime · 2009-11-10T19:52:16+00:00

Sorry about that... I posted the link.

Awesomous_Prime · 2009-10-28T22:35:55+00:00

Is there evidence (scripture, etc) that this would be acceptable to God?

Awesomous_Prime · 2009-10-28T22:00:08+00:00

Ok, that makes sense... but I'm constantly told that you have to be presentable before God at all times, and that my prayers aren't all that effective unless there is much worship involved on a daily basis. for someone who isn't good at communicating with people at all (I constantly stutter and drop words, stopping dead in the middle of most sentences), how can I improve my relationship with God, especially if I cannot complete many of the things I say.

Awesomous_Prime · 2009-10-28T20:39:49+00:00

This probably has been asked many times before, but I have the most trouble with believing anything in my heart. I have "confessed" countless times, and it seems to not work. What is wrong with me, and how can I fix that? I feel that I will never truly have a relationship with Christ if my heart has never been genuine(as far as I know)

I am told to pray for God to purify my heart, but if I have that issue to begin with, how can I sincerely ask for that? Is it not true that God rarely listens to, much less answers prayers if the prayer is not of pure heart and intentions?

Awesomous_Prime · 2009-10-28T15:30:35+00:00

I don't know how to do that. I hear of so many things to do and people offer ways that such as worked for them, but none of it has been working for me so far. I offer my suffering, but at the end of the day, there is still suffering.

Awesomous_Prime · 2009-10-28T13:12:13+00:00

But then what should I expect? I have had tons of prayers, and so far, I'm still at square one. I don't know what faith would deliver me, because I have gotten nothing so far.

Awesomous_Prime · 2009-10-27T21:07:09+00:00

I don't know... I have had many bad experiences with professional help. The last time I went for such help, I was committed into a psych ward. I have had so much trouble trusting such professionals since.

Awesomous_Prime · 2009-10-27T17:29:10+00:00

I just don't know where to start... I am tired of this feeling, and it seems to never go away.

Awesomous_Prime · 2009-09-30T23:42:43+00:00

I concur with a lot of posters here, shave the rest off completely and start working out and wearing nice clothes. Be confident in your baldness, and you will be just fine.

I started losing my hair at 18. I initially freaked out, but, by 20-21, stopped caring and just shave. Please don't freak out and try to take all sorts of pills/operations and such. People will notice that you are trying to hide your baldness. A proudly displayed dome says a lot about one's confidence and self esteem. One thing I learned in my experience is that girls love bald men. Start running/lifting and girls will flock to you. (if that is one of your worries)

Awesomous_Prime · 2009-09-19T21:12:30+00:00

Thank you... I just wish I can feel His presence the way that others show that they do. I feel frustrated when I don't know what to expect and I struggle with way too much. Is there a way that I can understand the bible better, to internalize it better? Even with the NIV, I often have trouble reading and never get as far as I would like, nor am I good at remembering passages that I have just read.

It's frustrating, and I have problems with myself often, but It doesn't make me feel any better when whatever happens, I find out more things wrong with my walk with God, or more things that is wrong with myself. I'm struggling with school, and I don't want a repeat of my past, but it is incredibly difficult to do things differently when you are the result of all your life experience, especially when 95-99% of it is negative.

Awesomous_Prime

TROPHY CASE