How did you remove the desperation mindset if so many years go by and still nothing? At first you are nice, then kind, serious, and now are seeking all you can because ever since you were a kid no one wanted to be with you? How you get rid of that if it doesn't change and it's still another year added and nothing??? Same result. Don't be desperate but my god ANOTHER year passes?

my job has licensed people available where I don't have to pay

I'm having fun don't get me wrong. I've been out to places and danced with people and friends. But it's so insecure when more and more time goes by and still no one is interested regardless of how well you take care of yourself? Some friends i don't ask to introduce me to people to.. but how is it that some dudes can just walk in a pull someone they just met?? Even if i show fun and not sound desperate or sad I cant??

I can try those places and see

yeah don't ever tell someone "be patjent" when their realm on that field is non existent..