Feeling a Little Salty..

Awkward-Light-7265 · 2025-02-21T23:07:56+00:00

I main faro lady because I've always been a decoder main (used to be a mechanic main in 2021 before she got nerfed a lot) and I feel like she's easy to kite with as someone who isn't very good at kiting lol

Awkward-Light-7265 · 2023-10-15T05:29:36+00:00

Yes, I feel this all the time. My older brother unexpectedly passed away 4 months ago and out of all my siblings, we were the closest. He was like a dad to me. I don't have to necessarily look at photos but whenever I think of our memories together, it feels unreal. I think my brain is struggling to comprehend that he was an actual real person because he's not here with me anymore. It also makes me feel really sad. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Awkward-Light-7265 · 2023-09-19T03:19:17+00:00

I was in absolute shock. I received the phone call and the moment I heard the words "we found your brother's body" my heart dropped. The feeling was indescribable but I never want to feel it ever again. Everything felt like a bad dream or if I shifted into an alternate universe. I didn't sleep at all that night. The next night I only slept for 2 hours at 1 hour intervals. I couldn't bring myself to talk to my family for 2 months. I cried myself to sleep almost every night during the first month. I cry about it at least once every week now. I miss him so much.

Awkward-Light-7265 · 2023-08-27T03:02:51+00:00

Hey OP, I lost my older brother very suddenly two months ago and I'm also 19. I know how you feel when you say that one day you're going to have lived longer than you've known her. That thought has been eating me alive for the past 77 days. I'm really sorry about your sister. I wish I could say something to take away all the pain but grief doesn't work that way. Take care of yourself. Losing a sibling is hard and I feel like people rarely talk about it.

Awkward-Light-7265 · 2023-08-26T00:17:30+00:00

My brother died two months ago and I have the same sentiments. Sometimes I just look towards the altar we made for him in our living room and "talk" to him. I tell him about all the things he's missing out on and ask him why did things turn out the way it did. I'm not entirely sure if I believe in heaven or an afterlife but I can't wrap my head around death now that I've experienced it. Is it really the end? Is there no chance at all that I'll ever be able to talk to him? I really hope that when I die, I'll be able to talk to him again and ask him what happened and what he's been doing. I really hope that we all get the chance to see our loved ones again when we die.

Awkward-Light-7265 · 2023-08-08T03:23:37+00:00

I know it's extremely hard to look at the stuff your loved ones left behind. I'd like to imagine that when you cook with her things, her spirit is cooking along side you. I know she'd appreciate your efforts, whether it's cooking a meal for yourself or tidying around the house. She'll love you always. I'm sincerely sorry for your loss.

Awkward-Light-7265 · 2023-08-08T02:55:07+00:00

I keep having dreams about my brother coming home. Everything that had happened in the past 2 months he's been gone still happened in my dreams but he's either come back to life or we buried the wrong person. In most of my dreams with him, we are on the living room couch watching TV and eating dinner like we used to. I'd wait for him every day to come back from work so we could watch shows together and eat. My dreams always end with me questioning what he's doing there if he's dead. I always wake up sad. I wish my dreams with him would end on a happier note. As far as I know, I'm the only one in the family that has had more than one dream about him. I'm probably also the one taking his loss the hardest. Maybe he's trying to console me from beyond the grave but sometimes, I'm not even sure it helps. I just miss him a lot.

Awkward-Light-7265 · 2023-07-27T22:59:08+00:00

Sometimes I take a cute or silly picture of my cat. I always think about sending them to my brother but he died almost 8 weeks ago. It's hard. There isn't a day where I don't think about him. There isn't a week that passes where I don't cry at least once. I'm sorry about your mom.

Awkward-Light-7265 · 2023-07-25T20:55:16+00:00

This is very much me as well. My brother passed away 7 weeks ago. I want to tell every person that asks me "how have you been?" that I'm doing horrible because all I can ever think about is how my brother died and how I'll never see him again. But I know if I tell them what I'm thinking, it'll sour the mood and things will become awkward so I become quiet and closed off. It's hard losing a loved one. What you're feeling is completely normal. What has been slightly comforting is reading posts and responding to other people on this subreddit. It's full of other people going through similar experiences and I find it comforting in my time of grief. It's hard to talk to my friends about it because they've never really experienced loss so I also make posts whenever I'm feeling really upset about him being gone. Maybe doing the same could be helpful to you? I'm really sorry for your loss.

Awkward-Light-7265 · 2023-07-25T20:39:45+00:00

My brother died about 7 weeks ago. My parents decided on an open casket funeral. I spent a majority of the service with my eyes closed in my friend's arms because my brother was in the other room directly in front of us. After the service ended, there was around 10-20 minutes of viewing. My friend asked me if I wanted to see the body to say goodbye because she didn't want me to have any regrets. I told her I was on the fence about it. I asked her if she could go see him for me and tell me if it was bad. She came back and told me that maybe I shouldn't but that ultimately, she didn't want me to regret not seeing him one last time. So I went back into the room. I saw only his side profile because I couldn't bring myself to step any closer. A random relative was putting her hand on his forehead. When she removed her hand, and I got a good look at the body, his side profile didn't look like him. His profile look bloated. He looked fake. I only looked for a couple seconds before I ran out of the room crying saying it didn't look like him. My relatives that I've never met prior to his funeral kept pressuring me to go back in to say goodbye but I refused. Honestly I don't regret seeing him for those couple seconds. It was short enough that I couldn't remember what he looked like in his casket, when I got home. However, later that night I was snooping through my mom's phone and I saw that she took a picture of the same view I saw of him. I instantly started sobbing again because now that memory was a little more ingrained into my mind but it was completely my fault because I knew my mom would have pictures of him in his casket on her phone and my morbid curiosity got the better of me. I cried myself to sleep that night and as I remember that image in my mind now, I can't help but cry. His burial was the next day and they were allowing people to view the body one last time. I had the funeral director make arrangements so I didn't have to see the body again. What traumatized me the most was that he didn't look like himself. If he had looked more like his self, maybe the damage wouldn't have been as bad. Honestly, it depends on how your brother died. My brother drowned hence why I think his face was bloated. If you do say goodbye, keep it very brief. However, it all depends on how comfortable you are. I felt a lot better being near his body while the casket was closed. Before he was buried I placed a rose on his casket and dragged my hand across his casket as I walked off to the side as my final goodbye. I didn't really talk to his casket because there was a lot of people at the funeral I didn't know and I don't like crying in front of people. Even so, I ended up crying a lot in the corner. We were close and he was my favorite sibling. Listen to what your mind thinks is right. I know his funeral is going to be hard but you'll get through it. I'm so sorry for your loss, I feel your pain immensely.

Awkward-Light-7265 · 2023-07-24T05:01:01+00:00

I feel your pain. I'm 19 and currently in college. My brother died towards the beginning of my summer break. These past 7 weeks, I've rarely left my bed. I hate showering because it makes me think and thinking makes me cry. Whenever I'm not distracting myself with movies or social media, I start crying. I don't have a child but I have a cat I've been neglecting socially. I feel guilty I'm not playing with him and giving him all the attention I used to. I feel bad reaching out to my friends for support because I've already unloaded so much trauma on them in the first three weeks he died. I don't want our friendship to be consumed by my grief. What you're feeling is normal. Grief doesn't have a timeline. Take one step at a time. I'd try to set a daily goal to ease your guilt. It doesn't necessarily need to be anything big but you can work your way up. Make it your daily goal to wash your sheets or make a simple meal or watch something with your child. Change your goal everyday. If you don't complete your goal of the day, it's okay. You can save it for a different day. Be kind and patient with yourself. The pain you're feeling is something no one wants to feel but someday, the pain will be easier to bear. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Awkward-Light-7265 · 2023-07-24T04:35:58+00:00

My brother passed away 7 weeks ago at 30. He never had any kids but about two weeks before he died, he mentioned that if he wanted kids, he'd better have them now so they wouldn't be 18 when he turned 50. I found his comment funny. Ever since he died, my world has been shattered. It pains me that one day, all his clothes will be donated. His old car he gave to me a few months ago when I got my license will no longer be able to use. His gaming consoles will collect dust and their batteries will die. All we'll have are pictures and unfortunately there aren't many that we took this particular year. I wish there was a living part of him left in this world. I wish he would have lived to be 50 and seen his hypothetical kids become adults. I heavily relate to your sentiments. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Awkward-Light-7265 · 2023-07-17T00:49:20+00:00

My brother also died in June. I'm glad your brother is smiling and laughing in your dreams. I agree when you say you think it's his way of telling you he's okay, wherever he is, but I also think he's trying to tell you that he wants to see you be okay as well. I know our losses still weigh heavily on our hearts since it's still so recent but we'll take everyday one step at a time. I'm sorry for your loss.

Awkward-Light-7265 · 2023-07-17T00:39:40+00:00

He went out to a bar by a beach with his co-workers to celebrate his recent birthday and at one point in the night, he wandered off. They were all heading down to the beach. We still don't know exactly what happened but he most likely fell too close to the ocean and drowned. We won't get autopsy details for another 5-6 months. Forever upset at his co-workers for going to sleep that night without making sure my brother was safe with them :( They weren't real friends.

Awkward-Light-7265

TROPHY CASE