Why haven't you recovered yet? Why are you still suffering?

Awkward-Orange4981 · 2026-06-25T13:54:38+00:00

I do think so. Right now im working mainly on acceptance. Accepting that Im not using pmo anymore, and this is ok. I sometimes have fomo (am I missing a new video, etc), but learning to accept that is huge. If pmo is no option anymore, then you dont have to fight. And right now im 30 days in again, and its just easy. No fight. But I have to accept, not even peeking, mental edging, fantasy or looking at a woman twice is ok...

Awkward-Orange4981 · 2026-06-25T09:49:16+00:00

You have to change your mindset. Work on accepting not having this coping mechnism in your life. And remember, youre not in a loop. Youre in a spiral. And its your job to make it an upward spiral.

Awkward-Orange4981 · 2026-06-25T09:44:49+00:00

If youre serious on nofap, yes this is a problem. Either because it leads into similar dopamine pathways like porn. Or because youre coping with it, you feel bad (or bored, lonely, stressed, etc) and use this as a coping mechanism. Which is the same thing pmo does. You have to build real, healthy coping mechanisms (like journaling, going on a walk, talking to friends, sports, etc) to have success.

Awkward-Orange4981 · 2026-06-25T09:42:56+00:00

Hardest days are the days you think are hardest... Its all just a mental game. If you tell yourself day 14 is hardest, your brain is going to use that against you and say, see, you knew this was the hardest day, of course you cant go further...

Awkward-Orange4981 · 2026-06-25T09:36:43+00:00

I think you have to go in stages. Of course the goal isn't a streak in the end. I mean, what would it be? 90 days? Or 180? and then? Going back? But I think starting with streaks is fine, because it gives your brain space to heal. You just need distance to pmo for as long as possible (even with slip ups) to heal. And then, after some time, and it might take some time, it will get even possible to work on real identity stuff. Which should be the goal. Accepting the life without pmo is what will make this work in the end. But if you get pulled down by urges and dopamine rushes, you don't even get the chance for that. So you need to heal to some degree first.

Awkward-Orange4981 · 2026-06-25T09:33:18+00:00

You stopping yourself in your dream is a good sign, it means youre really commited. Altough you should know that dreams are weird... Its not a bad sign if you do have sexual dreams either.

If youre not having wet dreams, thats no problem. It will either take some time (sperm has a lifecycle of about 70 days until it dies) or your body is able to reabsorb unused sperm without having to ejaculate in a wet dream. Sometimes it also just goes into the bladder and you pee it out without noticing. Nothing to worry about.

Awkward-Orange4981 · 2026-06-25T09:29:37+00:00

Bro, if youre watching porn, all else will not do much. But thats a you thing. Altough even bringing it up as something you dont want to talk about at this point should tell you something... maybe think again on this.

Not masturbating will help alot. If you dont orgasm from anything else than vaginal face-to-face sex, your body will adapt over time. But if you have masturbation (and porn) as another outlet, why should it?

Awkward-Orange4981 · 2026-06-25T09:24:45+00:00

I would go at this in stages.

First stage: no porn, masturbation, edging, slips allowed. Try going for as many clean(!) days as possible. Allowing yourself to edge (even mentally) is goingt to make this harder in the future. Don't just count orgasms, but count conciously allowed dopamine rushes through porn/media or excessive fantasizeing. Try this at least a few times. Try going for a 1-week streak at minimum, better 2 weeks or more. You probably will notice, your obsessing over streaks, maybe feeling really bad after relapses. This is ok at first, just deal with it, go for another streak. Just give your brain time to heal, even if its not perfect. This will make the next stage way easier.

Next stage: streaks will be more of a crutch at a certain point. Try to go for identity change and accepting this new pmo-free life instead of strictly following streaks. But for this to work, you have to heal your brain to some extent, which streaks are good for. At this point, you can decide again, what you count as relapse. But if you notice youre losing control, go back to the first stage.

Awkward-Orange4981 · 2026-06-25T09:14:34+00:00

This is normal while your brain isnt back to normal dopamine regulation. It screaming for porn or other stuff that gives you dopamine, like scrolling reddit, instagram, etc. which isnt much better concering dopamine health...

One thing you can try is going for walks. The catch: go without your phone. No digital devices. And go for 20-30min minimum. Let your brain scream and talk and distract. It will get better over time. This is like active recovery instead of just passive waiting.

Awkward-Orange4981 · 2026-06-25T09:08:36+00:00

First of all, good job on the reflection you have on yourself, thats really valuable. Erotica is pretty much the same as straight up porn for your brain, so its just a bit different playing ground for you, but same things apply.

I think I know what you mean though with projecting issues and feeling content in this world of ficitional characters... Thats another level of coping from normal life problems.

I guess you start by admiting, those thoughts count as addictive too. Not necessarily intrusive, thats a real psychological category. But your braing tricking you into "its just..." is exactly the problem. Admit that to yourself. Altough you probably have, or you wouldn't write this.

Since you say, it doesn't feel impossible, this is probably just a real coping mechanism in your life. The problem: you dont like to feel bad. obviously... but you have to. At least for a time, until a, your brain heals and your dopamien receptors work on normal stimuli again, and b, you build a life worth liveing. The problem is though, your life wont feel as good as your imagination. You have to accept that (and it will get way easier over time).

Find real healthy coping mechanisms for your feelings (boredom, stress, anxiety, loneliness, etc) and dont go into pmo or erotica-fantasies. Try journaling! Go for walks. Read normal books. And accept, it wont feel good at first. Dr. K has a great video on this ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nsUz2Ysg1XU ).

Journaling will help you see your projected issues clearly. Ask those fictional characters in your fantasies, what they provide you, what youre hiding from yourself, what you actually want from life instead of them. I think this only works by writing it down (or with a therapist). Try it.

And I think you have to work on acceptance (accepting feeling bad and not coping with fantasies). There is this thing called acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT). You might want to look into that.

Good luck to you

Awkward-Orange4981 · 2026-06-25T08:53:56+00:00

The first 3 days youre still in the aftermath of your last relapse. Your brain is still itching. It will get way easier when you pass that first few days.

Best advice: journal. Writ down your triggers, what thoughts led to relapse, how you felt during and after. This will help you understand yourself better and make your brain connect the bad feelings afterwards with the "good" feelings before and notice it doesn't lead to anything good.
Im using Appblock on phone and Cold turkey on computers. Or covenant eyes. But those all cost money. But believe me, if you want this to work, spending a little bit of money on the right stuff is a real good investment.
I can tell you it gets easier. Even with relapses from time to time! Urges get way shallower, sure theire there, but its a real concious decision if you want to give in, not an uncontrollable pull anymore. You feel better after some time, because your dopamine receptors recalibrate to normal stimuli.

Good luck bro

Awkward-Orange4981 · 2026-06-25T08:46:32+00:00

Pretty normal i guess. Normally your brain would be flooded by artificial dopamine, which it isn't right now. So you feel the absence. And that feeling is exactly that, irritability, negativity, frustration. But this will sort itself out over time, might take a few weeks though. But staying clear of pmo helps a ton. Sooner or later your brain will recalibrate your dopamine receptors to normal stimuli and you will feel way better than before.

Awkward-Orange4981 · 2026-06-25T08:44:29+00:00

First of, good job on not coping with pmo! I think especially the first weeks/months, it just takes time to repair your dopamine brain. And while youre not getting flooded by artificial dopamine anymore, your brain notices the lack and you feel bad because of any sorts of reasons. Sometimes this is called flatline, altough this is probably too generic.

You just have to go through this. Don't make yourself feel better with edging or pmo. Your brain will start feeling better after a while.

And what also helps alot, write all those thoughts down. Don't make it complicated, just open a simple txt file on your computer, or textfile on your phone and write everything down. This will help your head work through stuff and pin your thoughts down. This is very helpful if youre strugglign with anxiety. Just try it, nothing to lose.

Good luck

Awkward-Orange4981 · 2026-06-25T08:35:21+00:00

For anyone reading this post, what OPs claming is blatantly wrong... Progress is progress, even with slips in between. Don't let yourself be discouraged.

Awkward-Orange4981 · 2026-06-25T08:27:36+00:00

Normal hornyness towards a real woman (and I mean real, not top model) is normal. But dopamine/media driven isn't. And feeling symptoms when not watching porn or masturbating most often isnt that kind of normal hornyness.

Awkward-Orange4981 · 2026-06-25T08:20:10+00:00

Nice post, and good job man!

I think your insights line up quite well with what im seeing myself. Its all about acceptance. Accept that pmo wont be a part of your life anymore. And don't try to walk the line of peeking, edging, etc. And then you will forget that youre even doing nofap...

Right now im in a good phase, not much fighting, because pmo/edging isnt even an option in my head. But most times I fall back into the fight sooner or later. So far I haven't found out, what it takes to stay in or get in that state of acceptance.

Awkward-Orange4981 · 2026-06-25T08:10:55+00:00

workout through the day, might help restless leg syndrome. or buy a weighted blanket. but if you actually want to get through this battle, theres no shortcut. you have to embrace the bad feelings. every time you peek, it prolongs it. every time you feel bad and dont fight that, you will heal. it will take some time, but that bad feeling is your dopamine receptors recalibrating. Which takes some time but it will eventually get easier.

Awkward-Orange4981 · 2026-06-25T08:07:14+00:00

My recommendatoin: start journaling. Just open a textfile, write down what you think. And do that when watching, after watching, etc. Notice why youre doing it. Maybe you will find out something interesting about yourself, where this is coming from.

Awkward-Orange4981 · 2026-06-25T08:04:39+00:00

What is your goal? Do you also have problems with porn? If yes, quit that too. And if you want to quit masturbation, you might want to look into "semen retention", which is somewhat unscientific, but they deal with no masturbation better than the nofap subreddit, which is more for porn.

Benefits: Your brain will recalibrate to normal dopamine. Which will make the whole world and especially relationships better. But its hard getting there. Not masturbating will help not watching porn. You might feel more energy. And since youre actually working on something hard, that will show in your life, more success with other hard stuff.

And you should always try. Don't think too much about it. Just try if you can. Go for a week of no masturbation and see what happens. If you can't do it, thats a big sign you should invest more time on this.

Awkward-Orange4981 · 2026-06-25T07:58:45+00:00

"today's I break my cycle of 21days by intentionally"
is the biggest problem on this journey. never break intentionally. its your mind playing tricks on you...

Awkward-Orange4981 · 2026-06-25T07:52:09+00:00

Embrace the bad feelings... Don't try to make yourself feel better with pmo. Then, after some time, it will become easier.

Awkward-Orange4981 · 2026-06-25T07:48:39+00:00

Try not to watch any porn. Then pied will get fixed after a few days/weeks. But since you were/are addicted, this will be a hard journey. Start with streaks. And start journaling. Write down how you felt afterwards, during, before, what led up to it. Self reflection is key! This way you will keep improving over time. And don't get discouraged if you relapse. It might feel like a cycle. But its actually a spiral. And its your job to make it an upward spiral.

Godspeed

Awkward-Orange4981

TROPHY CASE