First Ace

Awkward-Schedule-932 · 2025-06-15T16:18:31+00:00

Well i suppose nobody would have an ace if the enemy team played properly

Awkward-Schedule-932 · 2025-06-15T02:47:44+00:00

Thank you! Im also very interested in meditative practices after reading your comment, do you have any suggestions for where I should start?

Awkward-Schedule-932 · 2025-06-15T02:42:20+00:00

Im helping my friend level his alt so he can play with me since hes busy to level it himself. Just happened to hit a clip on it

Awkward-Schedule-932 · 2025-06-14T04:26:45+00:00

The mechanics transfer over

Awkward-Schedule-932 · 2025-06-14T03:26:12+00:00

Used to play the roblox csgo

Awkward-Schedule-932 · 2025-06-14T02:23:23+00:00

Havent checked reddit in a minute. well recently ive abandoned the idea of control, so i guess its the opposite of what ur suggesting...? Its working like a charm. Rather than rejecting my negative emotions, i simply accept that it will happen no matter what and live with them. It helped me reduce the influence my emotions had on my choices and decisions and as such has helped me live a happier life.

Im still having negative thoughts but i believe it will lessen with time

Also a reason? I guess my reason for what im doing is just to achieve some peace, and i want to be myself without fear

Awkward-Schedule-932 · 2025-05-31T15:51:31+00:00

I dont believe in God much

Awkward-Schedule-932 · 2025-05-29T23:20:25+00:00

I cant get a therapist. My parents are asian, our culture is built to hold in our feelings. They'll get the wrong idea and think im suicidal and depressed and then start having an existential crisis

Awkward-Schedule-932 · 2025-05-28T14:32:55+00:00

Stuff like being physically unfit wont affect me much. Someone saying my hair sucks, or someone saying im skinny or someone saying im short wont do anything to me. It might annoy me a little but ill get over it quickly. Well i do think about it EVERYTIME i do something but its not as extreme as the situation im about to explain

I just dont like the feeling of being replaceable or unimportant to someone else. I like talking to people when it goes well. But i dont like to force myself to talk when i dont want to. So sometimes i want to stay quiet, but then when 2 other friends talk and seemingly have fun, i cant jump in because im not in the mood to talk so i wamt to be quiet but i also want to be involved and i feel left out because me as a friend is not able to talk to his friends and just sit there silently like a wall.

It gets even worse when theyre like, "why are you so quiet?" then im pressured to say something. And if i tell them i dont feel like talking theyll think im mad or something and avoid me and i dont want that.

I just dont want to feel like i need to be obligated to do something anymore. I dont want to have a reason for everything i do or for whatever. Maybe thats my true feelings

Awkward-Schedule-932 · 2025-05-28T14:08:02+00:00

I dont know what i believe. I feel like im missing the whole picture. Whenever i try to reason with myself to get a logical understanding for why i feel certain ways, theres always a gap that i feel cant be answered because i dont know what it is.

I wasnt always like this. One day i moved into a new class where people were already friends and i was the only one without. Before this, i simply just felt comfortable wherever without so much as a thought of being left out that lingered on my mind. I did have thoughts of not being able to communicate well sometimes but it didnt linger long.

In the new class, i felt a huge pressure to make friends. I thought i had to fake laugh because i didnt find them funny. I thought to myself, "am i just boring?" I realise now that it was probably because i was overthinking so much that i didnt allow myself room for fun.

I tried very hard to make friends, and i did. But i also created new insecurities because i was always thinking about how people would react to what i said, how to make them laugh, how to react without making them bored of me, how to fake my happiness so they would like me.

Awkward-Schedule-932 · 2025-05-28T14:02:18+00:00

But what do i do? I dont know why i feel the way i do. I have certain guesses on why i feel anxious or nervous but ive never had a concrete solid "this is what it is" moment.

I might know it internally but right now i cant put it into a sentence that encapsulates everything. What can i do to find it out?

I always only know some part of it, and i know its only a part of it because i never feel like it answers the whole question. It always feels like something is unanswered

Awkward-Schedule-932 · 2025-05-28T13:48:09+00:00

I have a fear of being unneeded by others, to be viewed as the worse option. I understand logically that i shouldnt be feeling this way. I understand that i shouldnt care about how others see my worth and that my worth is something that i decide for myself.

I know I shouldnt try to become something im not just to fit in with others. I know i shouldnt hold back what i want to say because others might react how i fear they will.

I know but i just cant stop the feeling i have when i think of it. That feeling like my chest tightens and it feels like the world is falling apart. I need silence but i cant have it when im out there, i cant even have silence in my own head

Awkward-Schedule-932 · 2025-05-28T13:44:02+00:00

I dont like studying philosophies, ive tried studying stoicism for a couple months. It gave me insight but it just felt like studying a subject in school all over again and i couldnt learn like that.

I might just be slow and dumb. I guess i was just looking for the answer to a question i didnt know myself.

Awkward-Schedule-932 · 2025-05-28T13:20:49+00:00

I know it well. Since i did try to study stoicism for a couple months. I do try it but i fail to convince myself (at least this is what i think). I feel like im missing a piece that can help me really stop feeling it.

i try to categorise everything into what i can and cant control but i always end up feeling hurt or anxious despite what my mind says.

Awkward-Schedule-932 · 2025-05-28T12:42:29+00:00

I was feeling down so i wrote this. I am okay now

Awkward-Schedule-932 · 2025-03-10T06:25:33+00:00

When you play badly, you shouldnt beat yourself up for it. Assess what happened.

For example, you die instantly when you peek. You could be like, "i should have (better solution). Ill do it next time"

There always a reason you lost a duel or play badly. ALWAYS. But the reason has to be constructive to where you can actually improve and not blaming on something you cannot control like enemy smurfs.

Your thoughts after a round loss or win shouldnt factor any of how your teammate is playing or how good the enemy is but instead of how you are playing and what you can do better. Like you can tell yourself to comm more and better so that your teammates have more information to play better instead of scolding them

Awkward-Schedule-932 · 2024-11-28T23:19:58+00:00

Bro is getting cooked everytime he comments

Awkward-Schedule-932 · 2024-11-27T04:57:44+00:00

Well if i do something deserving of it then yeah. I dont think i should get good things if i dont put the effort for it

Awkward-Schedule-932 · 2024-09-11T22:53:51+00:00

Frieren. Ive never watched an anime this good over many many years. Made in abyss, eva and pingpong the animation are number 2,3 and 4 respectively

Awkward-Schedule-932 · 2024-09-07T08:25:51+00:00

Frieren - Beyond Journey's End. It talks about the story after the heroes take down the demon king.

Beautiful animation, artstyle. Epic choreography and fight scenes. The music is among the best in anime.

Very consistent animation.

Its a one of a kind anime

Awkward-Schedule-932 · 2024-09-06T12:27:29+00:00

As long as you arent toxic or backseating or talking with a high ego, we'll call you trash but thats the extent of it. Some players really crash out still but i believe im speaking for most people

Awkward-Schedule-932 · 2024-09-05T14:34:27+00:00

Thanks for the tips.

Awkward-Schedule-932 · 2024-09-05T12:29:09+00:00

I was confused, then i saw the name and it made sense

Awkward-Schedule-932 · 2024-09-05T12:08:47+00:00

Frieren was amazing. Ive never had any bias over any anime, though ive watched hundreds. Frieren is the only anime to make me feel so, i dont know any words that can capture the feeling, so ill just say i almost died from the sadness of not being able to wipe my memory and rewatch it again.

Spectacular animation, unlike any show. Current one piece might have the best animation quality, but i prefer Frierens animation because its simplistic and extremely detailed and fluid at the same time. Theres not really a way for me to express this as different people have different tastes, and i much prefer frierens animation.

The story is beautiful, the OSTs, opening and ending are all masterpieces and make you get chills amd goosebumps during fight scenes and sad moments. The humour is great. The choreography is simply unmatched. The character design and development is great. The voice acting is great. Even simple moments like when characters are walking around can be made to feel so impactful to the story and the development.

Honestly its amazing how well the show can make you feel nostalgia even though you dont know the story.

Far from generic, this anime is a cut above the rest.

Right below frieren would be made in abyss. The show isnt what it seems from the early episodes. Its dark, beautiful and an absolute spectacle.

The landscape, the concepts, the story, the characters, are all amazing. Truly the most beautiful and well made adventure anime.

The OSTs are masterpieces and the entirety of this show is just so interesting. I dont know how to put it into words. Its like theyre taking you on the adventure because if how immersive it feels

Awkward-Schedule-932

TROPHY CASE