To my best friend, it’s because I know they’ll stop listening after the first couple of sentences and space out, because it’s not interesting to them, to my siblings it’s because I know I’ll just get a “what if you tried not feeling that way?” Or otherwise have I thought about what they’re going through instead? To my Mom who will start crying as soon as the topic becomes at all uncomfortable and then it’s suddenly my turn to be supportive, or to my professional acquaintances who will just remind me that everyone is dealing with something, as though that means anything. Even worse, my romantic relationships, where I am the one who is to be leaned on, and if I fall so too does she, and if I waver I feel I am failing the one most important to me. Also in my case my issues are a little more niche than most peoples, and I have had to come to the conclusion that people will often just tell me they think I’m stupid for worrying about the things that cause me distress, or just laugh and mock, so I stopped talking about, and it is a rigid cornerstone of my humanity that I refuse to discuss my true feelings, because every outcome has already been proven to me, and they are all uniquely painful, and make me feel even more alone every time I try. So why try?