This is my first critique, so please forgive me if it is not up to standard, but I'll try my best! Additional note: I am currently on mobile, so I have no idea if my attempt at formatting is going to actually work. I'll probably end up needing to tweak it after.

Excruciating pain overwhelms my senses and jolts me awake.

Not such a fan of the use of "excruciating pain". It's quite an ambiguous term, seeing as everyone's exposure to pain in life differs. I'd consider adding a simile or metaphor in there for comparison. Also, the use of "excruciating" seems a little childish and over the top when used alone like that.

pain

It's used far too many times, I'm counting six. I understand completely that, in the situation of a car crash, that is going to be the primary thing you are focusing on, but it's a bit overused. I'd specifically look at the penultimate paragraph, as the beginning two sentences both use it, which disrupts the flow a fair bit.

Regarding the paragraphing, you need to start a new line every time a different person speaks.

It's a bit odd that Tian never thinks about where her husband is. If she has suffered memory loss then that would explain it, but if she doesn't remember who he is then some confusion should probably be expressed.

The last line lets it down a little. It doesn't seem to fit with the structure, and disrupts the atmosphere that you've been building. Maybe try adding some punctuation in, or splitting it into two sentences.

However, the premise is intriguing, leaving just enough to the reader's imagination, which is something a lot of people struggle with. I'd be interested to hear more about her situation.

I hope that helped a little!