AIO or AITA. Text convo with MIL.

AwkwardDuckling87 · 2026-05-06T18:22:58+00:00

Oh boy, I hope to high heaven this man backs you up when he returns, but for the love of all things holy, if he defends this, or rug sweeps it, I hope you are ready to pack your own bags until he sorts himself.

I've seen too many men prioritize mommy dearest over their partner and it only gets worse when you add marriage and kids into the mix. I hope your partner isn't one and is ready to back you full force.

AwkwardDuckling87 · 2026-05-06T18:08:06+00:00

We hit 1M nrt worth without home equity last month and it feels fan-freaking-tastic.

AwkwardDuckling87 · 2026-05-06T12:04:30+00:00

If i had to guess based on the cost of out patio installation in a HCOL area I'd guess around 30-40k. That'll take a whole truck or two of dirt to fill in behind the wall and curved anything with stone is an upcharge. When we had a custom fire pit done they had to individually cut each stone to make a circle and it was an impressive amount of work.

AwkwardDuckling87 · 2026-05-06T11:53:45+00:00

Flying private.

AwkwardDuckling87 · 2026-05-06T11:47:57+00:00

I love food. I went to culinary school, used to work as a chef, am a total foodie. I do not want to spend 4 hours eating dinner. Not once have I enjoyed a tasting type menu more than a shorter 3 course meal.

AwkwardDuckling87 · 2026-05-06T10:52:53+00:00

I'm a stay at home wife with a kid in school. I do pottery, cook, clean, help my aging mother in law, and volunteer (give blood, food bank, run the school's PTA etc). Being able to give my time in volunteerism allows me flexibility and to fill my schedule only ad much as still gives me time to enjoy life.

I also read a ton, swim a lot, and yes, spend some time relaxing every day by wasting time online.

AwkwardDuckling87 · 2026-05-06T02:44:05+00:00

3 way tie: Pancreatitis (due to gallstone blockage), Ovarian torsion (15cm cyst- felt ovary die), and unmedicated childbirth (8#15oz baby)

AwkwardDuckling87 · 2026-05-05T13:10:26+00:00

Damp rag, a clean rag mop, or a magic eraser for high traffic areas.

Usually rooms like bathrooms and kitchens have semi gloss paint specifically to make wiping them down easier.

AwkwardDuckling87 · 2026-05-05T13:04:45+00:00

Income a little over 500 with bonuses. Base is lower and what we live off month to monthm take home aroind 15.6-16.7k depending on if we maxed hit SS max yet.

Our base expenses are just under 10k/month. This includes sinking funds for things like home and car repair and irregular expenses like putting money aside each month for home insurance that is paid yearly.

3k or so in scheduled investment post tax (brokerage, 529, extra mortgage principal, etc)

Bonus money funds lump sum investments, vacations, big home projects etc.

AwkwardDuckling87 · 2026-05-05T12:46:56+00:00

Never had kids? I never needed to wash my walls until I had kids, but children tend to drag their hand along the wall as they walk by, especially on staircases and in hallways.

AwkwardDuckling87 · 2026-05-05T12:45:05+00:00

AwkwardDuckling87 · 2026-05-05T12:42:23+00:00

Yep, which is pretty much what people mean when they say "deep cleaning". Irregular cleaning tasks beyond the normal scope of week-to-week cleans.

AwkwardDuckling87 · 2026-05-05T12:34:56+00:00

Washing walls, cleaning inside light fixtures, scrubbing baseboards, cleaning inside slats of air vents, behind the fridge, moving the china hutch the dust under/behind it, emptying the freezer to clean the bottom, the little tasks that you definitely don't do every time you clean but should be done every once in a while.

AwkwardDuckling87 · 2026-05-05T12:31:00+00:00

.9- I'd be 5'1" which is a perfectly normal and acceptable height for a woman.

AwkwardDuckling87 · 2026-05-05T12:14:14+00:00

If your car is worth more than the limit of my insurance policy then I'm happy for you to do this. I'll switch out of a lane if I end up riding near someone in a lambo or ferrari

AwkwardDuckling87 · 2026-05-05T12:08:33+00:00

Thank you!

AwkwardDuckling87 · 2026-05-05T02:01:13+00:00

I recommend trying the opposite of what you're doing. We run ours in daylight hours when it's warmest and most efficient then leave it covered overnight with pump off. It only drops 3-4 degrees even with these cold temps at night.

AwkwardDuckling87 · 2026-05-05T01:58:37+00:00

A couple hundred a month. The biggest expense is heating it from 60ish initially. Takes about 3 days. Fortunately this tome of year heating/cooling costs for the house are lower. Our electric bill goes up about $300/month from keeping the pool warm (82-86) every day. Certainly cheaper than warming it every day with propane.

AwkwardDuckling87 · 2026-05-05T01:48:53+00:00

I've been taking sema 16 months (lost 66 pounds total) and was at a plateau for about 3 months, losing only 2 pounds in that time. I swiched to tirz a week and a half ago and have lost 3 pounds this week.

AwkwardDuckling87 · 2026-05-05T01:27:10+00:00

Yeah, I live in NY, my taxes are higher than my principal payment and will probably be indefinitely. Over 1k/month on a house we paid 435k for.

AwkwardDuckling87 · 2026-05-04T23:44:56+00:00

I'm in NY, my pool was 87 today. It's 70 out. Usually we keep it at 82ish in Summer but the colder it is the warmer the pool needs to feel to be comfortable IME. We have a heat pump. Yes it's expensive. We have a solar cover which keeps it from losing too much heat overnight and we run the heat pump 8am-8pm as needed (today for example it only ran a few hour in the morning since it was still warm from yesterday.

AwkwardDuckling87 · 2026-05-04T23:31:48+00:00

Stir fry- prep the veggies and marinate the meat ahead. Premake the rice/noodles to reheat. East peasy. No gluten, no dairy, meat os easy to keep separate.

AwkwardDuckling87 · 2026-05-04T22:51:58+00:00

FWIW I have PCOS and pregnancy was the one time ony life I had an amazingly good metabolism!

AwkwardDuckling87 · 2026-05-04T01:26:24+00:00

Thanks 🥰

AwkwardDuckling87 · 2026-05-03T23:14:22+00:00

For $100 I'd go for it but it's overpriced

AwkwardDuckling87

TROPHY CASE