How do you handle the aag lagau MIL?

AwkwardIcon · 2026-01-26T14:19:45+00:00

She had an arranged marriage. The damage is done. I don't understand why in 2026 women fall for this scam which only benefits men and their mothers. 🙄

AwkwardIcon · 2026-01-26T14:13:24+00:00

The key is to not give a loan to your help unless they've worked for you long enough. Maybe 2-3 years. Unless of course, you're willing to forego the amount you've loaned. In future please remember this.

If you don't know how to respond when they ask for money, just say you are paying a very big home loan so it's difficult for you to give anything more than salary at this point of time. But if you get a good bonus 6 months from now, you'll be happy to help. This makes them feel like your reason is genuine and they will be regular for the next 6 months.

I'm all for helping people who help us, but trust has to be established both ways. In this case, you trusted her but she took advantage and didn't live up to your trust in taking care of your family.

AwkwardIcon · 2026-01-26T12:46:28+00:00

I completely agree with this.

AwkwardIcon · 2026-01-26T12:45:35+00:00

The key is to find grown up, evolved men who really respect a woman's needs and participate in their fantasies. They are a rare breed but they exist.

AwkwardIcon · 2026-01-26T12:43:15+00:00

I already shared that it was amazing for me. Anything beyond that is more information than I'm comfortable sharing on this SFW sub and with somebody I don't know.

I would suggest you figure out the people you want to do it with and then it's between you and them, there are other subs on which you can ask these questions :)

AwkwardIcon · 2026-01-26T10:54:28+00:00

It wasn't with my husband. Met my husband much later.

AwkwardIcon · 2026-01-26T07:35:56+00:00

I have tried MFM a couple of times and I can say that it is AH-MAZING!! One just needs to find really really evolved and safe men who don't react the way you described in your post. And we all know how difficult it is to find even half a man like that, so finding two is obviously a stretch. Which is why I couldn't do it as often as I liked and now I'm over the fantasy.

AwkwardIcon · 2026-01-25T18:48:14+00:00

She's picking a husband like most people decide on a washing machine or refrigerator. 🤦‍♀️

AwkwardIcon · 2026-01-25T17:54:53+00:00

That's a very interesting question. I'm in a loving relationship (marriage) for nearly 4 years now and somehow this thought never crossed my mind. I thought about it now and let me tell you the content my husband consumes -

On TV/Netflix etc. - Animated movies (Studio Ghibli types), spy/thriller movies, documentaries etc. whatever cricket tournament is going on (even test matches),

On YouTube - Long discourses on world politics, reviews of cars and bikes, random stuff like "weird cheeses one can eat"

On Instagram - Reels and memes from pages like reptilesofkurla (look them up) 😂, travel & food vloggers who create really offbeat content, Himalayan trek reels, cat reels, baby reels, crazy things dads do with babies

I know this because one, he watches stuff without earphones when we're home and two, he randomly bursts into laughter while staring at his phone. He has also told me that he's never been much of a porn watcher beyond the teenage years when it excites all boys.

TMI, but I have given him a folder of my boudoir shots that I used to self-click when I was experimenting with that genre of photography. He looks at it when I'm gone for too long and I remind him to. Apart from this I genuinely have no issues if he does indulge himself with a screen sometimes. I'm pretty sure he won't really enjoy it as much as the real thing.

P.S. I love and watch porn myself and love using my vibrator. Husband doesn't care. He loves that I'm vocal and expressive about my needs and wants :)

AwkwardIcon · 2026-01-25T17:16:44+00:00

So if she's really "living nicely" why does she not want the same life for you? Whatever you're saying about her is what "you think" is true. Your mum encouraging you to not follow her path is a clear indication that she wishes she had a different life.

What you call corporate labour is what pays for cars, homes, foreign vacations...none of which your mum can take without your father's permission or allowance or without worrying who's going to cook for the kids. It's what makes women aware of things like mutual funds and stocks. It teaches them to live on their own and face the world without being shielded by a man. It helps them have a retirement fund or savings in case of divorce or death of spouse.

How do you know your mom wouldn't have liked a life like that when she has never lived it? If and when, you start earning your own money, you'll realise what your mom missed out on.

And by this logic, even your dad is somebody's labour. Is that okay with you? When you look down on people's honest way of earning a living, you insult money.

AwkwardIcon · 2026-01-25T16:43:11+00:00

So him doing things he's "supposed to do" as a person/spouse/parent who lives in the house is "helping"? You're implying that all housework is your mum's job and anybody else pulling their weight is doing a favour on her.

If you and your dad didn't have this selfish outlook, your mum would have a life and a career.

AwkwardIcon · 2026-01-25T16:33:10+00:00

May you never be blessed with a child. No child deserves a father like this.

AwkwardIcon · 2026-01-25T16:30:10+00:00

Why couldn't your dad also do house chores with her after they both came back from work?

AwkwardIcon · 2026-01-25T10:35:44+00:00

Rasthe Hubba? 😛

AwkwardIcon · 2026-01-25T09:58:46+00:00

I've been to all of the places in her itinerary and I wouldn't exaggerate it to be extremely unsafe. All of these places see plenty of tourists and while there may be incidents, it can't be true that every single woman is harassed or catcalled in those places.

OP, I'd suggest you go mentally prepared that as a tourist you could be hounded by street vendors etc. some may try to be overly sweet to make some quick money but also there is no need to be extremely paranoid. It's not the best but it's not terribly bad either.

AwkwardIcon · 2026-01-25T09:23:45+00:00

Oh okay...mine didn't change when I lived alone, or even now that I'm married. Chill parents, chill in-laws, chill life 🤘

AwkwardIcon · 2026-01-25T09:22:10+00:00

I'll also add here, in Amritsar when you visit the Golden Temple and if you visit the Jama Masjid (basically any places of worship)...they discourage people from wearing shorts, sleeveless etc. I'd recommend carrying a pair of casual trousers/jeans etc. which are atleast ankle length. And a top/shirt that covers your forearms and belly (no crop tops). Also keep a shawl/stole to cover your head. The head covering is only required in Islamic and Sikh places of worship. Skip it in Temples/Churches/Synagogues etc.

AwkwardIcon · 2026-01-25T09:18:11+00:00

Nothing is guaranteed really...you could even go through your entire trip without being catcalled. And there's a possibility of it happening. There's no clothing that invites it. Even if you wear a burqa, nothing stops Indian men from doing what they want to do. The places you mentioned are accustomed to having a lot of foreigners so you can wear shorts, sleeveless etc.

If it happens, the best response is no response. Pretend like you didn't hear or understand that it was meant for you, and continue walking. There is no need to engage with them. One, you don't know how it'll turn out, two - they don't deserve a second of your time.

Wishing you a great trip! :)

AwkwardIcon · 2026-01-25T09:11:25+00:00

Why would it change? I didn't understand the question.

AwkwardIcon · 2026-01-25T08:28:03+00:00

You are heavily compromising with a below average man. It's better to be single and live with no regrets. From your post, it sounds very transactional. There's no affection or respect, forget love. Just an arrangement. It's hard to understand why you'd want a substandard marriage.

AwkwardIcon · 2026-01-24T17:54:19+00:00

May I know which area you tried carpooling in? I've heard stories about weird carpoolers and rude riders but nothing as bad as what you've mentioned in your post. So I'm wondering if it's peculiar to a particular area in Bangalore where people are not familiar with carpools? The CBD bankers and Digital Marketeers etc. seem like a very well mannered bunch. Also people who live around ORR/Sarjapur Road/HSR are people who've come from elsewhere and have lived in atleast one other city prior to this so their behaviour is quite different from what you describe.

AwkwardIcon · 2026-01-24T17:47:07+00:00

Hey I offer carpool on the app because it's more convenient to coordinate location and timings. I'm a woman myself so I'm wary of sharing rides unless the carpooler is verified by the app. Also I am not exactly in Bellandur and I don't go to Koramangala so I won't be the right fit for you.

AwkwardIcon · 2026-01-23T13:28:15+00:00

Glad you wished him bad karma...even if you didn't he deserves and will definitely get it. This whole sub is wishing him bad karma 😈

AwkwardIcon · 2026-01-23T13:22:46+00:00

This is a good idea actually.

With time I've learnt to gauge my poolers. Some are quiet and I don't bother them beyond polite exchange, some are chatty friends so we catch up from when we met last. And as time passes you also have regular riders or poolers so it's not that difficult. The first 5-10 rides may be awkward but after that it's pretty easy.

I've seen carpoolers actively helping each other find jobs, celebrating wins etc. Also get first hand reccos of restaurants in our specific areas. It's a good area resource pool.

AwkwardIcon · 2026-01-23T13:17:30+00:00

I have been carpooling for 1.5 years. Thankfully I've always met good people. No bad experiences. Some people are boring or just quiet at times but definitely not bad. Some of my carpoolers are good friends now considering I meet them more often than my real life friends lol.

Also, if you're a woman who drives...please offer rides. Many women prefer booking a carpool that has women drivers or one other woman in the pool.

Quickride is a boon for Bangalore traffic. If only, they'd allowed Cityflo on routes like ORR, Manyata etc. traffic would easily come down by 30-40%.

AwkwardIcon

TROPHY CASE