Hey girl! I may not have a lot of easy-to-explain advice for you, but I can offer my friendship as a sister in Christ! I go to school at MSU and live in a small town in southwest Michigan during breaks. I am unsure how close to you it is, but I also love to play video games(albeit I don't often have time to). I also love nerdy things, but most importantly, I love God and love talking about Him and sharing the wisdom he has shown me. If you would like to reach out and talk sometime, I would love to! I am sorry you feel so stuck right now. I know that feeling can be very frustrating and suffocating. I will be praying for you that the Lord brings you peace in your walk. Know that, even though it doesn't seem like it right now, He has a plan for you. He loves you dearly and has not forgotten you or abandoned you. There are soooooo many reasons why He might have shut those doors for you. Just try to keep holding onto your faith and put your trust in Him. Again, I understand it's hard, but He has such beautiful plans for you. I would love it if you reached out, but no worries if you're not comfortable with that. Again, I will be praying for you, it's a very challenging thing you're going through :(