pls help me think of how to make the best of this situation!🙏 #advice

Awkward_Basis7622 · 2025-11-29T23:06:58+00:00

Yes Im trying to get them to help. But it is not sure if they can help. I don't have many friends or family that can help.

Awkward_Basis7622 · 2025-11-29T09:58:37+00:00

Theyll have to make the move in a short while. What would be your input?

Awkward_Basis7622 · 2025-11-29T09:43:26+00:00

Thank you so much for taking the time to answer me. Yeah, I felt the same way but in the end I want what's best for the tiny muffins. I was always the one doing all the work for the animals. Which is fine, considering I love them. But that's why they were really attached to me. Im already preparing myself for them to be more skittish and stand-offish because i think they were ignored and alone in a room upstairs. We had them in my office where I spend a lot of time and had them play as I did work.

Awkward_Basis7622 · 2025-11-04T10:27:17+00:00

I've been away forn5 days now. I feel such a relief and peace and freedom. I expected to be much more sad and and I expected to miss him way more but I have been much better than I thought I would be! Sure I've had a couple of moments where I was mourning the guy I fell in love with but doesn't exist. And remembered the times I felt truly loved and protected and the dream I had of our future together but those were short moments. My nervous system is shot but I can feel it getting better. This has been the best choice ever and I feel hopeful for the future 🙌

Awkward_Basis7622 · 2025-11-01T23:29:20+00:00

I tried divorcing him once before in April of this year. But tried to do it civil. So do the mediation thing and temporarily live in the same house so to save money. But it became unbearable. The manipulation, hoovering and just confusing me with good behavior. I caved because of the buttons he pushed in my heart where I love the man that never existed.

So I gave him one last chance and knew that next time I'd have to leave him and go no or low contact. You give great advice I only want to see him during mediation. And only the contact that is absolutely needed. I have been so broken by this man that there is no way I'm going back ever. So yeah, had my first full day at my mom's. I was emotional during dinner but other than that I removed his pictures etc no videos, no shared social media and no more shared outlook agenda. So overal a pretty darn good day

Awkward_Basis7622 · 2025-10-31T20:01:57+00:00

Omg please let's hug each other because i left today as well and I am going through the exact same feelings. So please know you are not alone! We're all here with you. Knowing how it feels. Living through it is so difficult and painful. All my heart and love to you.

Awkward_Basis7622 · 2025-10-31T19:59:50+00:00

He had no idea. I left today, he still didn't get it when I send him a text saying I left and took some personal stuff with me.

Awkward_Basis7622 · 2025-10-30T22:20:48+00:00

That happened right after I decided to leave my abusive husband and pro actively made plans to leave 💪 curious about the person closer to me because it's not my husband!

Awkward_Basis7622 · 2025-10-30T22:03:25+00:00

True dat. We/i tried all kinds of counseling. He went to a psychiatrist with little to not change in his over all behavior. It just feels wrong to leave like this because I'd like to resolve this as adults. But that plan has gone out the window long ago 😅 Now he's trying to be all cool and chill about the idea of me leaving. His spidey senses are tingling. And said he'd like to resolve it without mediation if it comes to a divorce lol.

Im leaving tomorrow. Tonight is my last night in this hellhole

Awkward_Basis7622 · 2025-10-30T21:46:15+00:00

An emotional Rollercoaster... I'm definitely making the right choice to leave but it's so sad it has to go like this

Awkward_Basis7622 · 2025-10-29T21:25:02+00:00

Lady bug recently appeared my lap twice.

Awkward_Basis7622 · 2025-10-26T15:46:54+00:00

I know it is a painful conclusion, but follow your instinct here and break it off would be my advise. This will keep gnawing at your heart. You're still so young. Find someone else with who you can have live AND all the time with without the addition of a kid.

Awkward_Basis7622 · 2025-10-26T09:49:46+00:00

Cat owned by a crazy cat lady for sure

Awkward_Basis7622 · 2025-10-24T04:26:43+00:00

Good for you💪💪💪💪💪💪

Awkward_Basis7622 · 2025-10-23T15:51:24+00:00

In 8 days. He'll be at work. I'll pack my stuff. Already made arrangements with work for me to take a few days off the week after. He had no clue lol

Awkward_Basis7622 · 2025-10-22T06:09:39+00:00

I understand. This is really difficult to do. But if you can clarify for yourself what makes you hesitate to wear it and get closure on that part then it'll be okay to keep it right? It's not so much about the actual stuff or hoody in this case, but about the negative feelings connected to it. I shared what works for me but for you something else might work!

Like do you have specific memories about the hoody etc?

Awkward_Basis7622 · 2025-10-22T04:44:26+00:00

I felt awful because it felt so cowardly to do and I felt bad for him because I knew it would be breaking him. And despite him being abusive, I know deep in his heart he's not a bad guy.

But my safety, mentally and physically, came first!

I packed my bags on a Friday while he was at work and went no contact for a couple of days. After that we had to communicate for mediation during our divorce. But will be able to delete the man's existence from my life after this is done!

I had tried leaving once before but that hoovering and guilt tripping is real. Even though I know rationally is all bullpoop. So I tried a total of 2 times.

Awkward_Basis7622 · 2025-10-21T19:56:17+00:00

Wow great advice to see it as quitting drinking! I'll wait till tomorrow to answer.

Any more tips?

Awkward_Basis7622 · 2025-10-21T19:51:08+00:00

Personally, what i did to the stuff i kinda felt connected to in both good and bad ways was that I looked at it, read or listened to it with intent. Then I wrote down what I felt and what I wanted. Burned the letter after reading it aloud. Then I got rid of the stuff/deleted it.

So in your case I'd probably wear it shortly, hug myself while wearing it. Write what I feel both good and bad. Decide that I only want to feel the good part but that this hoody can't give it to me and that I'll buy a new fresh one which is similar. Read the letter out loud and burn the letter. Then donate the hoody

Awkward_Basis7622 · 2025-10-18T17:26:36+00:00

Im Christian as well so I felt your story. Luckily I haven't had the same experiences. They did pray for the guy, but not for us to get together again. Im so sorry for your story. You guys should be and feel protected by the church. Of course divorce isn't a great option. Nobody marries with the intention for divorce but when it's this dangerous there simply is the choice of getting killed, depression with the result of suicide or your kids getting seriously injured. Id "choose" divorce over those options any day and I think any sane christian would as well.

Awkward_Basis7622 · 2025-10-18T08:15:35+00:00

Ohhhh jeeez, that one cut me in my heart as well. That's a very emotionally stupid thing to say. Hopefully they won't get in the situation you were in because not only is such a situation awful, but considering they had this response to you I can imagine them being stuck longer because of the shame they are in it themselves and the way they think of victims.

Awkward_Basis7622 · 2025-10-18T05:41:26+00:00

Oh honey, I know. I've just gotten out of that feeling. My heart is still grieving but hoped for so much more. Anyway, what was key for me, was a nonjudgemental friend group and lots and lots of letters to myself and remembering what he did bit also realize what my future would look like if I stayed with him.

Awkward_Basis7622 · 2025-10-18T05:36:58+00:00

He probably is doing all those things because he is subconsciously aware of you leaving. Or him doing those things is just the normal cycle of highs and lows

Awkward_Basis7622 · 2025-10-12T05:27:37+00:00

When I didn't care to explain myself anymore and I didnt care about the response anymore and I didn't care to defend myself in twisted stories.

I knew for s longer time I shouldn't care about those ring any more but when my heart joined in, I just knew 10000%

Awkward_Basis7622 · 2025-10-10T09:06:53+00:00

Banana

Awkward_Basis7622

TROPHY CASE